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Why am I here?

sivers.org

41–50 of 108 posts

Re: Why am I here?

#41
post #21

I enjoyed the post, but I find it to be such a vast departure from the way I think and feel, mostly because I have a family. Sure, I would love to sit on a balcony in New Zealand, coding and listening to the birds, but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves. Again, I appreciate the spirit of the post, but reality for most of us precludes this level of whimsy, and I don't ne…

>but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves

I wouldn't be so sure. My parents made two significant moves during my school years which meant a new school and new friends. If you had asked me whether I wanted to move I would have said absolutely not. Looking back as an adult, being taken out of my comfort zone and forced to make a whole new set of friends and being given the opportunity to experience different places was fantastic for me.

That's not to say that there weren't some tears along the way...

Re: Why am I here?

#42
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm very surprised at that. I've heard the internet is basically horrible in New Zealand and they have horrible bandwidth limits there. Is this a very recent development?

It’s better. We have things like fibre and VDSL2 with unlimited caps now. Like properly unlimited ones (not just "unlimited"). You can get a gigabit internet connection -- or even dark fibre between private premises -- in many cases. For example, one residential ISP just released a statement apparently clarifying their policy regarding "unlimited" plans [1]: “Customers are free to go crazy and use as much data as the…

Orcon are great - although my only experience is connecting to their game servers from here in Australia. Looks like I can put NZ back on my "places to flee to" list.

Re: Why am I here?

#43
post #7
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mr Sivers is very transparent about his financial situation: http://sivers.org/trust Summary: CD Baby was transferred to a trust then sold for $22m, the trust pays Mr Sivers 5% per year. In his own words he has "enough".

Part of the reason I haven't been writing much the last couple years is because I thought, "Ah, it's not fair for me to write about this stuff like moving countries on a whim." But everyone's got their own version of this. My example is just one example.

I moved to Cambodia on a whim 4 months ago and I have ~14,000$ in the bank. Given my current monthly expenses (100$ rent, 200$ food, 50$ miscellaneous), I'll have the next three years to work on projects and coding (more than enough time) without worrying about making money.

Like others have said, money is not the limiting factor for most people in regards to moving half-way around the world. Being 12,000 miles away from my parents is very hard though; this move was something I absolutely needed to do, but I know if something were to happen to them I would completely regret my decision to come here.

Re: Why am I here?

#44

What if you don't know the answer to this question ("Why am I here?")? What if your answer is that you don't understand why you're still here? When your passion for everything and anything in life has waned to nothingness. When you feel like your body is in a constant state of physical and mental fatigue, bordering on a grinding, gnawing pain? When you feel like a passenger in your own life, stuck in the rat race, st…

Change your routine. Run, exercise, listen to new music.

If nothing else helps, what you're describing sounds like (IMO) some kind of depression. In that case, get professional help - seriously.

Re: Why am I here?

#45
Derek, we met a while ago when you came down to Dunedin. I'm glad you finally made the move down here.

What I found very interesting is that your decisions are driven not by where to move TO, but what you're moving away FROM. Your trip to Oregon, then to Singapore and now NZ seems to follow the similar route. From a vastly different culture and super-densely-populated .sg to the extreme remote and lonesome place like .nz.

I feel that's probably not the best way to go for it. Instead of trial-and-error, how about a search algorithm? Instead of "Why am I here", why not ask "Where do I WANT to be?".

Here was the list of criteria me and my wife came up when we were drifting around for a year to look for a city to settle down.

Crucial: 1) Small country with around 5M population. Coming from China, I feel lots of the problems of modern society & politics is there because of the large degree of separation. 2) Walkabout city. We love walking. I want to make sure the walk from home to office takes no more than 30 minutes. 3) Close to nature. Tramping is our main hobby. We want to start walking in the wild with less than 1 hour drive. (Reality is the closest one is 5 minutes walk from home but that's a bonus.) 4) With a high quality university. This gives us the continuous flow of different ideas even the city is small. 5) Price is moderate. We want to have the leisure time to spend with our families and work on our hobbies. Affordable housing and reasonable prices give us the lifestyle we want without having to work our butts off.

Ok to give up: 1) Museums, galleries and fine restaurants. Even when we were living in Seattle or Boston, we spend more time on solitude activities like walking and reading. So cultural stuffs are great but we won't die if we don't have them. 2) Varieties of products/shops. We don't buy a lot of stuff and when we do, we buy ones that last very very long but not particularly in-the-fashion. So don't have much choices is not a big problem for us. 3) Weather. I love San Diego's weather. Never too cold. Never too hot. But if it's a city that rains a lot and doesn't have a proper hot summary, we're fine with that.

We visited and stayed in more than 40 cities during that year. Some we stayed 2 months, others a few days. When we started the trip, we have never heard of Dunedin. But those criteria helped us to quickly sift through the options and lead us to this unusual decision.

Three years later, we still feel grateful that we made that choice. Life is good here.

A warm welcome from Dunedin, New Zealand.

Re: Why am I here?

#47
post #39

I always felt that Singapore just doesn't seem like the right place for someone like Derek Sivers. It's a beautiful and wonderfully located place, but the stated or unstated reasons many US expats give for moving there are narrowly selfish -- in the sense of irrational selfishness vs enlightened self-interest -- low taxes, clean streets. Yet Singapore's culture is strongly communitarian: there may be low income taxes…

[deleted]

Re: Why am I here?

#48

What if you don't know the answer to this question ("Why am I here?")? What if your answer is that you don't understand why you're still here? When your passion for everything and anything in life has waned to nothingness. When you feel like your body is in a constant state of physical and mental fatigue, bordering on a grinding, gnawing pain? When you feel like a passenger in your own life, stuck in the rat race, st…

I was/am in a mood something like this after reading Godel, Escher, Bach. I can't say I've found a simple way back, but if you're into detailed psych Eric Fromm's books in English were fascinating to read and helped a bit. (Escape from Freedom, Man for Himself, Sane Society)

If you aren't so much into that (or even if you are) professional help is not a bad thing.

Re: Why am I here?

#50
post #21

I enjoyed the post, but I find it to be such a vast departure from the way I think and feel, mostly because I have a family. Sure, I would love to sit on a balcony in New Zealand, coding and listening to the birds, but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves. Again, I appreciate the spirit of the post, but reality for most of us precludes this level of whimsy, and I don't ne…

>but I couldn't possibly rip my daughter away from her friends and the school she loves I wouldn't be so sure. My parents made two significant moves during my school years which meant a new school and new friends. If you had asked me whether I wanted to move I would have said absolutely not. Looking back as an adult, being taken out of my comfort zone and forced to make a whole new set of friends and being given the…

it depends on the age of the child. ages 5-12 will probably be fine, but if you do this to a high school kid, there will be hell to pay. it will not end well.
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