Why am I here?

Yeah, but I like the idea of being out of immediate reach if possible. Not a bad idea, I've thought of renting a cabin or house somewhere a few hours away.

Then you've found your reason to be "here."

Derek, I did the same thing 6 years ago.

I ended up north of you by just a tad bit, in Takaka. It was a long and winding 90 minute drive to get to Nelson, but it definitely felt like the "big city" compared to Golden Bay.

When people ask me how my 3 years in New Zealand were, it's hard for me to answer. A part of me was working hard, so I spent most of my hours behind my desk, at home, looking at the paddocks across the street. You could have probably put a backdrop behind that window and it would have felt like a beach in Fiji, or downtown Munich, etc. When I wasn't behind my desk however, it was a big realization that I was far away from home. After traveling to Europe for conferences a lot, you begin to realize that you are IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE (or somewhere). It is very far from everything else. A 90 minute drive to Nelson, a flight to Auckland, a 14 hour flight to LAX, then a 12 hour flight to Heathrow. Yikes. When I'd get back to my little house in Takaka however... it felt like home. Small towns, beautiful scenery, great people. My only downfall was that I actually ended up yearning for a market like Whole Foods. I was used to having a HUGE selection of everything to fill my taste buds, and that's hard to come by unless you are in some of the larger cities there. Get ready for a lot of fish and chips, and beetroot on hamburgers. I bet you $100 you're going to miss your asian cuisine... badly.

That said, here is a list of things that come to mind:

- Go to the Mussel Inn near Onekaka in the evening. Enjoy their beer, food, and chat with the owner Andrew who has great stories (he's the tall guy that looks like Bob Dylan).

- Meet up with Galen King in Nelson. He's a good friend, a smart technologist, and a great person.

- Go to Collingwood and hit up the chocolatier there, Rosie Glows.

- Walk around Te Waikoropupū springs and be amazed.

I wouldn't trade the experience for anything (my second kid was even born there!). Enjoy New Zealand, and make sure to check out Australia while you're down there too. You're close as you're ever going to be =)

Noho ora mai rā, nā!

Don't agree.

Something like "because my kids can receive great education here" would be a great answer, but just "lovin' it" means nothing. And having good friends is not a good reason either, because real friends are those that stay close to you when you are far away.

Moreover, I'd say adult people's life should not be constructed around their kids. It should be the opposite: kids follow their parents where they go until they can fly alone. I think it has been the case for most of humanity most of the time (the only exceptions could have been "baby kings" like Louis XIII, but they do not count).

In the same vein, if you father or mother love hiking, find a way to hike with kids. If you love snorkeling just teach them to snorkel early. If you prefer reading books at home just stay at home. They will follow. Having happy parents is the best gift for kids.

In our new society, having kids often means becoming their slave, and you are frowned upon if you dare keeping your hobbies once you have them. This is one of the most worrying mistakes I can imagine. I mean educational mistake. Kids do not need, or even like to be baby dictators.

I always felt that Singapore just doesn't seem like the right place for someone like Derek Sivers. It's a beautiful and wonderfully located place, but the stated or unstated reasons many US expats give for moving there are narrowly selfish -- in the sense of irrational selfishness vs enlightened self-interest -- low taxes, clean streets. Yet Singapore's culture is strongly communitarian: there may be low income taxes, but there are tons of other rules and regulations. The reason for the low taxes, an efficient, universal, and well functioning healthcare system, and so on isn't liberal individual empowerment (which is often the reason given for both individualistic economic policies like low tax rates and for safety-net policies like universal healthcare in the West), it's greater communal good (which -- unlike in ther West -- is also defined in a way that's much more nuanced than "greatest good for the greatest number"). That reality may not hit people immediately, but it will eventually: e.g., if you plan to have kids, be ready for corporal punishment in most schools and even some junior colleges, and (far more burdensome and soul crushing for an individualistic soul) military conscription.

Derek talked about this in earlier essays and acknowledge that he was resetting his operating system towards a more communitarian, giving the example of nominally "converting" to Islam to marry a woman. Yet to me that reason still seemed narrowly selfish, a much more principled and selfless act would be to refuse to compromise one's greater cultural and religious heritage and forgo one of life's greatest long-term pleasures (love) -- something I would not endorse, as it would result in great misery for both himself and now wife.

Personally, I am lucky, as I found United State's "left coast" and "far west" cultures to be my home: I see my own culture was being a happy medium between these two, but I have a fluent understanding and appreciation of both of these cultures. They mesh far better than the cultures I've been brought up in (secular Jewish and Russian) and I'm very lucky that I have the ability to pick and choose -- I would simply not survive (in the physical sense) had I attempted to live a life true to my personal views in the land I was born in. I sincerely hope that Derek finds in New Zealand a culture he can belong to.