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Email Introduction Etiquette

blog.42floors.com

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Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#101
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem isn't that the "busy person" is too busy to respond, it's that the "busy person" did not request to be involved and should be forced to be the bearer of the bad news.

Hearing bad news is a part of being an entrepreneur. Speaking only for myself, I would prefer to hear no directly from the horse's mouth.

That, again, is not the point. It's not what you want, it's what the "busy person" wants, the one who's being asked to do a favor (or more).

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#102
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You already understand there are different kinds. Some people shut down under fairly minimal pressure/stress, especially if their lives are already busy. I'm with you, but I've come to realize the importance of following such rules in order to keep things smooth ultimately for myself.

I have a paper from my shrink that says that essentially, I have had a blind spot for these things since my childhood. Only in recent years have I started to understand what it means. My "if you have something to tell me, why do you dance around it?" brain simply does not compute these things.

It's like meeting someone at the bar. A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I.

It all comes down to chemistry and expectations. Engineering types generally appreciate candor, a somewhat unique trait, but it's definitely gaining some traction with other groups. I don't think many investors appreciate it, but that doesn't mean a cold email won't work -- but it better be extraordinary.

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#103
post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can believe you, but, having read your previous comments in this thread, I'm still not seeing the distinction between ask and request .

An ask is the subject/object of a request. If you were to request a cookie, you would say "Can I have a cookie?". The entire question is the request, where "cookie" is the ask.

If that were the case, to 'make an ask' would in this case mean to make the cookie, which it doesn't.

It seems like 'ask' is a verb, not a noun - in which case it is synonymous with 'request'.

People seem to be arguing that it's a 'more specific' form of 'request', but I can't really see how you could make a nonspecific request.

Edit: Ha! I even confused myself... 'Ask' here is indeed a noun - like 'request' when used as a noun - but it still seems to refer to be entire request, not just the object (which is the point I was trying to make).

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#104
post #51
post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not claiming it isn't horrific; I wouldn't say it myself. But "ask" is a pretty clear term of art. Also, I'm not sure Hacker News denizens can really complain too much about other people's jargon. Among many others, we inflicted "blog" and "tweet" on the world.

`Blog' and `tweet' are at least neologisms. `Ask' on the other hand has been a verb for a very long time, and has so far resisted being made a noun. That suggests to me, and probably to most people, that it's a verb, solidly so, and not to be used as a noun. Fighting this kind of tradition will be an uphill struggle. A losing battle. A tall order. (For those still in primary school, those are all different ways of sa…

Actually it happens all the time: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_(word_formation)

Relevant: http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1993/01/25

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#105
post #103
post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

An ask is the subject/object of a request. If you were to request a cookie, you would say "Can I have a cookie?". The entire question is the request, where "cookie" is the ask.

If that were the case, to 'make an ask' would in this case mean to make the cookie, which it doesn't. It seems like 'ask' is a verb, not a noun - in which case it is synonymous with 'request'. People seem to be arguing that it's a 'more specific' form of 'request', but I can't really see how you could make a nonspecific request. Edit: Ha! I even confused myself... 'Ask' here is indeed a noun - like 'request' when use…

Yeah, it does seem a bit weird to "make an ask" if the ask is the object.

As to the "more specific" bit, I think people mean it has a slightly different meaning than a request.

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#106
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a paper from my shrink that says that essentially, I have had a blind spot for these things since my childhood. Only in recent years have I started to understand what it means. My "if you have something to tell me, why do you dance around it?" brain simply does not compute these things.

It's like meeting someone at the bar. A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I. It all comes down to chemistry and expectations. Engineering types generally appreciate candor, a somewhat unique trait, but it's definitely…

A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I.

Actually, I don't consider "asking someone back to their place right away" as either positive or negative thing because I don't understand the motives. Sorry, this kind of interpersonal stuff simply goes beyond me. ;/ But I assume that if that is important to someone, I don't see a reason for that person not to be candid about it.

I don't think many investors appreciate it, but that doesn't mean a cold email won't work -- but it better be extraordinary.

It's more that I see no reason for why this should matter when many business people don't even consider the effects that their actions or decisions have on human communities, changing the lives of countless other people. So many of them don't give a shit about what difference it makes when they decide to do something, but when someone else deals with them, many of them dwell on superficial veneer rather than on substantial matters proposed? Sounds very much like hypocrisy to me.

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#107
post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's like meeting someone at the bar. A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I. It all comes down to chemistry and expectations. Engineering types generally appreciate candor, a somewhat unique trait, but it's definitely…

A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I. Actually, I don't consider "asking someone back to their place right away" as either positive or negative thing because I don't understand the motives. Sorry, this kind of interpe…

> But I assume that if that is important to someone, I don't see a reason for that person not to be candid about it.

Being candid about something usually isn't the best way to accomplish your goal. If your goal is to make a sale, and you communicate with them in a way that is too different than what they're used to, you simply won't hear back. Forget ever getting a sale if they won't even talk to you. Understanding how people perceive your communications, and using that to your advantage is an important life skill.

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#108
post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of people wouldn't ask them back to their place right away. But that doesn't necessarily mean being upfront and to the point wouldn't work, it certainly does, all the time. Someone like yourself considers it a positive trait, as do I. Actually, I don't consider "asking someone back to their place right away" as either positive or negative thing because I don't understand the motives. Sorry, this kind of interpe…

> But I assume that if that is important to someone, I don't see a reason for that person not to be candid about it. Being candid about something usually isn't the best way to accomplish your goal. If your goal is to make a sale, and you communicate with them in a way that is too different than what they're used to, you simply won't hear back. Forget ever getting a sale if they won't even talk to you. Understanding h…

I semi-understand that (intellectually), I just don't have the brain circuits for internalizing any of that. This is illogical and I simply have problems with illogical things. (That is probably probably why the medical committee deemed it a severe disability in my case.)

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#109
post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I said before, the word is more specific than "request". Yes, it's an ugly term, but no, you can't make it go away by pretending it means something different.

I can believe you, but, having read your previous comments in this thread, I'm still not seeing the distinction between ask and request .

"Request" is a pretty broad term. An ask is focused, specific, planned. It's something more like "negotiating point" or "initial position" or "requirement" or "demand".

Re: Email Introduction Etiquette

#110
post #78
post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"ask" as a noun is fine (even outside of finance). I've never seen or heard "spoke to she" and Google doesn't seem to turn up anything.

I hear it occasionally. I hear its equally-appalling equivalent all the time: "Please join Mary and I in welcoming John to our team." Of course, prescriptive grammar is for the birds, anyway.

That's surely just an over-reaction to people being told "and I" in response to a sentence like "Mary and me would like to welcome John to the team". You can't win.
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