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How I Learned to Work a Room

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Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#71

Post by bsandbox »

napoleond wrote: post #37
frogpelt wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your approach is very similar to Dale Carnegie's advice in "How To Win Friends and Influence People".[1] By showing interest in what other people are doing instead of only telling them about yourself or espousing your opinions they are more likely to want to be around you. 1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc...

pg has said that he considers How to Win Friends and Influence People to be the most inspiring book on leadership[0]. I think it's especially helpful for hackers, because it basically lays out instructions for how to meet (and then exceed) people's social expectations. A lot of non-hackers seem to have learned those skills in middle school, while many of us were busy learning other skills. Learning to "play along" an…

It's a great book, a classic, and it's interesting to know how highly pg respects it.

When I look at leaders, the thing that I see more and more is the ability to not stress out about situations. Coming up with solutions is less important; putting everything in perspective is the key. Much of this comes down to empathy and being a nice person, as you describe.

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#72

Post by akinity »

fersho311 wrote: post #9

There was a time when talking to others in a crowded room filled me with fear to the extend that words flowed out of my mouth in ways that does not make any sense even to myself. I spoke gibberish and if you had the misfortune of talking to me, you would probably find an excuse to get away. I hated the idea of going to social events. At every event, I felt that I was the stupidest person in the room and that nobody w…

Meh. Sorry you ever felt awkward at parties?

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#73

Post by orthecreedence »

eruditely wrote: post #57
orthecreedence wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an introvert, this is wrong. Example: everyone sucks at rocket science the first few times. But maybe if I try one more time... It actually really helps to get pointers like these. Something like "focus your efforts on groups of two" can give you a) a lifeline and b) something to look forward to rather than dreading the occasion...and having that "this may be fun" mindset can take you that much further. I know a f…

Oh please nobody said hit your head against a wall repeatedly. Deliberative practice.

Fuh fuh fuh

Re: How I Learned to Work a Room

#74

Post by stretchwithme »

I find it useful to approach a group of people talking and just start actively listening to whoever is speaking.

People often look for support from the group they are talking to. Nod in agreement when they do. Ask an insightful question. Make it easier for them to be the center of attention.

Soon you'll be in a conversation without having to introduce yourself first. As soon as you are in a 1 on 1 conversation, be sure that you do introduce yourself. It should be a lot easier by then.

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