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Does life end after 35?

kzhu.net

121–130 of 228 posts

Re: Does life end after 35?

#121

Unfortunately, there are aspects to our culture that conflate personal value with success; that is, your value as a human being is based on your success. So it's easy to compare to the very visible milestones; Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, etc. Or to compare to people we know personally; the successful start-up founder with a nice exit, the entrepreneur who got his lifestyle business off the ground and now pays the…

People actually compare themselves to Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg? That sounds rather sad to me to be honest.

Aim for the stars, land on the moon.

It's not the comparison that's sad, letting it define your worth is.

It's something I struggle with, almost 30 still struggling through my degree and working on minor projects. But personally when I look back a few years painfully grinding through life addicted to meth it makes today's small successes feel like a billion dollars.

Re: Does life end after 35?

#122
post #11

I turned 40 last year, and I am loving it. I miss the physical resilience of being in my 20s, but I wouldn't trade where I am now to go back to my 20s. I grew up relatively sheltered in New England, and moved to NYC to teach as soon as I graduated from college. I spent my 20s teaching in the city and bicycling around North America in the summers. At 29, I moved to Alaska. I spent my 30's climbing mountains, doing mou…

You guys have trouble getting dates with attractive girls?

Yes, but your Mum says Hi.

Re: Does life end after 35?

#123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't worry, you'll eventually grow out of this attitude. Your confidence will increase. You won't have to say stuff like this in an effort to feel better about yourself. Hang in there and good luck.

No I'm serious. Ha. Hows the dating scene in the 40s? I'm going to be there soon. The 30's came on insanely fast.

According to the article linked here, they're good.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6611747

Re: Does life end after 35?

#124
post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shave your head. That's one problem solved.

You can tell the difference between a bald guy with a shaved head vs. a guy with a full head of hair with a shaved head. I'd bet the social advantages of hair still belong to the full-head-of-hair-shaved guy.

Ish.

But I think a bald guy with a shaved head also demonstrates a certain attitude "My hair had issues. I dealt with it. Next!"

Re: Does life end after 35?

#125
post #20

I often worry about whether my startup clock is running out. I'm closer to 30 than 20, finishing up graduate school, and for the most part feel young. But other than the pediatrics ward, the only other time I start to feel my age is when attending some of these startup events. What I try to keep conscious of is knowing what's reported in the media and what isn't, which are often 2 completely different worlds. On Tech…

I often worry about whether my startup clock is running out. I'm closer to 30 than 20, finishing up graduate school, and for the most part feel young. But other than the pediatrics ward, the only other time I start to feel my age is when attending some of these startup events.

Speaking as a 40 year old who is an early-stage startup founder , I'll say that your clock isn't necessarily close to running out. But, I will also add that time is one thing that you can never get back. I'm not real big on indulging in regret, but if I regret anything about my younger years, it is not being more aggressive and doing the startup thing sooner.

If you have a good idea, and you're 20-something, I'd advise you to go for it. If it doesn't work, well, you probably get another "at bat" or two in your life. If you wait too long, you eventually do start running into limitations, whether it is health issues, or additional commitments you may take on, in terms of raising a family or whatever, etc.

Experience is absolutely helpful, and I'm not sure I'd tell anybody to found a startup just for the sake of doing it, but if you legitimately have something in mind, you're passionate about it, and there seems to be a real shot at succeeding, I say take a crack at it now.

Re: Does life end after 35?

#126
post #2

In the west everything is more focused on the individual. I have to succeed at X. I deserve Y. I have to put my stamp on the world. etc. etc. Not sure this is the best path to happiness.

I tried talking about this in an earlier draft of my article but found it to be a deep rabbit hole. I'd like to explore this more fully in a future post. I feel that will be more divisive in it's reception :-)

If you take this task you have to do an incredibly deep dive of China vs USA. The US is the global leader primarily because of this focus on the individual and individual achievement. European countries compare somewhat poorly as they're sort of focused on the individual but with huge dollops of government support/intervention. China however is completely unapologetic in its team driven focus and now has significant success to back up that this method can work. I'd be interested in someone who can contrast/compare there.

Re: Does life end after 35?

#128
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here's how I look at it. It's not the decimal number of years since your birth, but the phase in your life that closes doors. In tech, you constantly need to keep up to date on the latest technologies, read publications and go to conferences, because experience gets stale very fast. It's also easier (than in fields like medicine or law) for junior techies to get up to speed in experience, because they can skip the de…

Or you prioritize exercise, and keep your energy levels up. I'm 38. My pace now is higher than it was since I was 20, despite a 4 year old son. The big difference is for the last 8 years I've put in 3-5 hours of hard exercise (powerlifting) every week before work. I wish I had more time, both for exercise and projects, but these days I can pull all nighters and walk into the gym 7am the following morning and set new…

I've heard this before about exercise. But exercise really tires my brain out - it feels like I can't think at all, like all my effort has gone and I'm just lathargic.

I'm not saying exercise is bad, and I do try and keep up with it, but am I the only one that has to think, "I can't exercise now or else I'll be too tired to code later."?

Re: Does life end after 35?

#129
I'm working with a senior person off late. I'm in my late 20's. One of the things that he warned me against is hipster trends. These can really derail a good technically intensive career.

Anyone who is glamorizing hipster practices over genuine experience should go out and build a few embedded systems, a car, or a pacemaker, or a dialysis machine, control system for a nuclear reactor, or a better routing algorithm etc. If you are busy building and refusing to look and learn from other software domains, you will likely never work on any technically meaty projects ever and soon fall victim to age related discrimination.

Building great things requires experience. Its not about impatience, and that thing about 'fail quick, fail fast' - 'quick iterations'. Some of the most significant work happens only at a slow steady pace. With proper planning, fore though about quality/stability of systems you are trying to build. Most importantly its about the seriousness and the impact of the problems you are trying to solve.

This takes time and with it you will age.

Re: Does life end after 35?

#130
As I move towards 30 at a somewhat surprisingly fast rate, I find that my life has changed. I don't do stupid stuff like all-night coding sessions, because it produces bad work and a lousy morning. It always did, but previously the glory of the late night hack outweighed the lousyness of what I made. I've seen things again and again. I'm also fairly positive I am getting smarter, or at mentally more capable. I can conceptualize things today that simply were mentally out of reach for the 20 y/o me. I have a tremendous focus on self-improvement and learning, so I don't expect this to change a great deal in the metanarrative, but I expect to learn new types of things as I move forward with life and move away from learning certain kinds of details.
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