I think Raleigh is the best bang for the buck for tech, food, drink, and residence anywhere in the U.S.
Downtown Raleigh has art festivals, music festivals (Hopscotch, Wide Open Bluegrass), Red Hat amphitheater, and Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts (including Meymandi Concert Hall, Fletcher Opera Theater, Kennedy Theater, Memorial Auditorium), etc. There are a lot of great restaurants within walking distance of some nice/fun bars. You don't even have to walk or ride; they have a Trolley you can ride for free (or rent!), a Trolley Pub (bike bar), rickshaws, etc. There are clubs (various kinds and each age groups), but that's not as much my scene anymore. They are to a saturation point with microbrewing companies in the area, they have so many: http://www.ncbeer.org/brewery-map/ And that's not all of Raleigh, e.g. North Hills has been having great free outdoor concerts with a few great bars (and a great grocery store if you want to be cheap) right next to it, which has been our fav recently. It is basically everything you love about a "small town" (great people, community, lower cost of living) in a well-educated and resourced area (NCSU, UNC-CH, Duke Univ. and too many tech companies to mention) with plenty of great places to eat and things to do.
But, Durham has DPAC, lots of great restaurants, a good startup scene, including areas devoted to startups like the Underground in the American Tobacco District next to DPAC and the Durham Bulls ballpark (where they do concerts, too.), etc.
And for the best hole-in-the-wall places to eat, you just have to ask around enough, like anywhere else. It might be a hot pot Chinese place in some random Morrisville strip mall, etc.