After figuring Shit out, let's hope the author figures out how to scale this website.
I'm at a loss at this point. The server's been hit with higher loads than this and survived fine. It's running Wordpress on Apache on a 512MB slice, there's no reason it should be this slow. Just rebooted it and it's still slow. If you want to help me debug it, my AIM username is the same as my HN one.
location /people-are-twice-as-smart-as-they-talk-three-times-as-smart-as-they-write {
serve static_article.html
}