What was your darkest hour like?

#1

Post by bjm » Sun, May 31, 2009, 10:30 PM UTC

I've been a freelancer for, like, 5 years. And during that time, I've always dreamed about starting my own "web 2.0" thing (that's what got me here in the first place). However, lately, things are going in a totally different direction. The business is slow, I'm out of cash and I'm considering getting a job. I've hoped that day will never come, but right now, I have my email client open (actually it's another Firefox tab :) with what should become a job application. Still I just can't seem to be able to do it yet.

Have you ever been in a situation like "thank god I didn't get a day job back then"? If so, how did you manage to get back on track? Is there a silver bullet?

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#2

Post by vonsydov » Sun, May 31, 2009, 10:54 PM UTC

What's wrong with getting a job ? As far as I am concerned..one doesn't get any extra points for being self employed. Often times you need to work in teams to get stuff done especially in a startup. I'd rather be impressed by one's work and creativity than by his ego :)

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#3

Post by menloparkbum » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:01 PM UTC

If you're truly out of money, it will soon change from "thank god I didn't get a day job" to "thank god someone gave me a day job."

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#4

Post by bjm » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:10 PM UTC

menloparkbum wrote: post #3

If you're truly out of money, it will soon change from "thank god I didn't get a day job" to "thank god someone gave me a day job."

lol, that may turn out to be very true :)

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#5

Post by bjm » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:13 PM UTC

vonsydov wrote: post #2

What's wrong with getting a job ? As far as I am concerned..one doesn't get any extra points for being self employed. Often times you need to work in teams to get stuff done especially in a startup. I'd rather be impressed by one's work and creativity than by his ego :)

I've rarely had any problems working on (competent) teams (on the contrary, it's nothing but a pleasure), it's almost always "the man" who is the problem :)

Do you have a job yourself? :)

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#6

Post by caffeine » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:20 PM UTC

My darkest hour certainly had nothing to do with job woes.

No offense, but if this is your darkest hour, you need to be living a much wider spectrum of human experience!

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#7

Post by holaberlin » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:34 PM UTC

caffeine wrote: post #6

My darkest hour certainly had nothing to do with job woes. No offense, but if this is your darkest hour, you need to be living a much wider spectrum of human experience!

That's a cheap shot although you made me laugh. But let's for a moment assume that one person's walk in the woods can be another person's nightmare. (Especially if they're really dark, creepy woods - but I digress).

Job hunting is stressful even at the best of times. And this is certainly not the best of times. On top of that, you are considering a possibly necessary major shift in direction in your career and lifestyle so that adds to the stress of this. The process of searching for a job has a bearing on so many aspects of who we are that some people can be so paralyzed by the thought of it that they will stay in the same job for years to avoid searching for a new job (points finger at self). I sympathize with your situation. Getting support from those close to you as well as trying to participate in enjoyable activities that help you to maintain your sanity are likely to help you get through this without feeling too overwhelmed. Whatever direction you choose, when you emerge at the other end of the tunnel you are likely to wonder what you were so worried about. Best of luck.

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#8

Post by noodle » Sun, May 31, 2009, 11:37 PM UTC

if your darkest hour is going from your ideal work situation to working a 9-5, you might need some perspective.

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#9

Post by [deleted] » Mon, Jun 01, 2009, 12:00 AM UTC

caffeine wrote: post #6

My darkest hour certainly had nothing to do with job woes. No offense, but if this is your darkest hour, you need to be living a much wider spectrum of human experience!

[deleted]

Re: What was your darkest hour like?

#10

Post by rgrieselhuber » Mon, Jun 01, 2009, 12:03 AM UTC

holaberlin wrote: post #7

caffeine wrote: post #6

My darkest hour certainly had nothing to do with job woes. No offense, but if this is your darkest hour, you need to be living a much wider spectrum of human experience!

That's a cheap shot although you made me laugh. But let's for a moment assume that one person's walk in the woods can be another person's nightmare. (Especially if they're really dark, creepy woods - but I digress). Job hunting is stressful even at the best of times. And this is certainly not the best of times. On top of that, you are considering a possibly necessary major shift in direction in your career and lifest…

It didn't come across to me as a cheap shot - I think it's literally true. Stuff that would have been extremely discouraging to me 5-10 years ago simply bounces right off me now. Based on this, I know that stuff I worry about right now isn't going to seem like a big deal as I get older. The best technique I know for making this process work is to continually do new things and challenge myself. Some of it may be painful at the time, but once you've come through it, you'll be surprised at the confidence you gain.

The only thing I know of that works against this process is sliding back into the "safe" realm in order to avoid having to deal with the problem at hand. This becomes a repeating pattern and you end up being much less capable of achieving challenging things.

It sounds to me like the problem is less one of motivation and more of vision. What is it exactly that you want to do? If you need to answer that question, I recommend changing contexts dramatically. Go travel for awhile, try moving to a new town, etc. Once you know what you want, little things like money and wondering how you're going to survive matter surprisingly less than you think they would.