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We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

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Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#51

Post by noonespecial »

sopooneo wrote: post #47
coldtea wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. Considering that hundrends of thousadns still lost their houses, it's not much of a comfort -- or good advice in general. "Do what everybody else is doing" will at best lead to me…

Yes. Something about bridge jumping.

Then again, when everyone else is safe in the water and you're the last one on the bridge when the train comes through, you might feel a bit silly in the moments before your untimely demise.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#52

Post by snowwrestler »

WalterSear wrote: post #9
mbateman wrote: post #4

> We turned to KnowEm.com, a website I often rely on to search for usernames, even though the site is primarily intended as a brand registration service. We certainly had a front-runner for her name, but we would have chosen something different if the KnowEm results produced limited availability or if we found negative content associated with our selection. > With her name decided, we spent several hours registering…

On the other hand, it's never too early to start helicopter parenting.

Exactly. This article is a great compliment to the discussion yesterday about how society is increasingly risk-averse. This seems like a crazy amount of parental effort to resist what will seem like totally banal cultural norms to their daughter.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#53

Post by tedunangst »

coldtea wrote: post #24
epoxyhockey wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a general rule, it's pretty safe to do "what everybody else is doing." I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. It seems impossible to limit someone's exposure on Facebook, especially when any 3rd party will happily pos…

> I noticed this rule after the housing crash. If one person was underwater on their mortgage, no one would blink. But, when hundreds of thousands of people become underwater, Congress started to get involved to (attempt to) provide relief. Considering that hundrends of thousadns still lost their houses, it's not much of a comfort -- or good advice in general. "Do what everybody else is doing" will at best lead to me…

If everybody in a neighborhood is dealing marijuana and then you show up and starting dealing heroin, a sudden increase in police activity and interest should not be surprising.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#54

Post by fistofjohnwayne »

I think these are outsized reactions to the problems described. I also don't believe there aren't any photos of their child online. As a new parent I can't imagine not using the Internet to share updates with my family whether it's via tumblr or something less public like email or an Apple Photo Stream. Most of these services have facial recognition.

Finding a balance between privacy and ease of sharing is something parents are going to wrestle with from now on. And, In the event you trade in your privacy to Facebook, you don't even get a worthwhile service. Facebook albums aren't designed with children in mind -- they don't care about a child's growth, they makes no notes on a child's milestones.

I've started trying to solve this problem with some fellow parents. At the very least I hope we can give people one less thing to worry about. If you'd like to chat about the possibilities and challenges in this space or what my research has uncovered so far, please find me on Twitter: @conceptualitis

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#55

Post by LordHumungous »

subpixel wrote: post #45
LordHumungous wrote: post #36

> I adore Kate’s parents, and they’re raising her to be an amazing young woman. But they’re essentially robbing her of a digital adulthood that’s free of bias and presupposition. Oh god, these types of smug parents annoy the crap out of me. This is the digital version of the mom who lectures you for letting your kid watch Sesame Street or eats Frosted Flakes, because don't you know sugar/TV are going to destroy his m…

True. Also, her daughter is going to be plenty embarrassed by her mom's high-anxiety-parenting (including, but not limited to the poop-tracking) when these articles are dug up by her friends in middle school.

Yeah. "We don't want any information about our kid online, that's why we are writing articles about her pooping habits on Slate."

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#56

Post by bsenftner »

drdaeman wrote: post #20

> When we think she’s mature enough (an important distinction from her being technically old enough), we’ll hand her an envelope with her master password inside. Let me guess. She'll probably reject that envelope for the following reasons: 1. The account is known to be compromised (being under a third party control). Even if parent credentials could be removed, there's still a possibility they could gain access with…

I imagine it being pretty funny and old fashioned thinking when she is presented with the envelope.

"Ya, rite M&P. I'll get rite on this and... whatever..." rolling her eyes as her attention returns to the table top augmented reality reality show where she virtually lives with all her favorite Disney, Nickelodeon, Fox, ESPN, Democrat, Republican, Tea Party, and Occupy celebrities.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#57

Post by vasilipupkin »

ef4 wrote: post #37
coldtea wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In 2028 there will be nothing embarrassing about appearing in thousands of online photos dating back to your birth. Because almost everyone will be in the same boat. Or you know, those that aren't will have it as an advantage. Like how everybody is nearly overweight, but still those are aren't have a leg up.

I'll grant that it's logically possible. But I don't really understand why people think it's disadvantageous if others can find out whether or not you were cute when you were two years old. I think it has more to do with fear of what's new than any logical argument. Putting my money where my mouth is, here is my son: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7402/9525304181_8da5d48e22_b.j... In what future dystopia will the pres…

I think the main issue is that the kids are not given any choice about appearing online when you post their pictures there. They should have at least some choice in the matter, it seems.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#58

Post by pyre »

nonchalance wrote: post #48
rayiner wrote: post #11

I'm a new parent and my wife and I are not taking any measures to minimize our kid's Facebook exposure. As a general rule, it's pretty safe to "do what everybody else is doing." If Facebook albums parents made for kids when they were little come back to haunt this coming generation as a group, the ills will be remedied either by making or using certain sorts of analysis illegal (the college application hypothetical)…

> do what everybody else is doing Obligatory Godwin law reference aside, this logic has led to many historical problems

Doing what everyone else is doing lowers social friction. We're discussing the idea of doing something while a child is young (posting about them online) that could haunt them later in life. If everyone is doing this, the social friction in the future will be less about having your childhood online.

In this case, the social friction itself is what would be possibly causing issues in the future, so lowering it would be improving the situation.

If you want to reference the Nazis, then it's the same thing. Doing what everyone was doing had lower social friction in Nazi Germany.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#59

Post by jlgreco »

nonchalance wrote: post #48
rayiner wrote: post #11

I'm a new parent and my wife and I are not taking any measures to minimize our kid's Facebook exposure. As a general rule, it's pretty safe to "do what everybody else is doing." If Facebook albums parents made for kids when they were little come back to haunt this coming generation as a group, the ills will be remedied either by making or using certain sorts of analysis illegal (the college application hypothetical)…

> do what everybody else is doing Obligatory Godwin law reference aside, this logic has led to many historical problems

It also has countless unspoken successes every single day. I have eliminated a great deal of the social clutter and hassle in my life by making a conscious effort to do what other people are doing, unless I have a reason not to. Everyone else is dancing at a party? Dance as well, even if it isn't your thing. Nobody else wears sandals to work? Don't either. Everyone else is driving home from the bar? Well... actually you had to much, take a cab instead.

Don't break the mold without a proper reason to. Now, are privacy issues going to come back and bit kids today in the ass? Maybe, I know I haven't always used my real name online, most people from my generation haven't. I figure that the kids who do are the ones breaking the mold now... I'm on the edge in that case.

Re: We Post Nothing About Our Daughter Online

#60

Post by mikeleeorg »

mbateman wrote: post #4

> We turned to KnowEm.com, a website I often rely on to search for usernames, even though the site is primarily intended as a brand registration service. We certainly had a front-runner for her name, but we would have chosen something different if the KnowEm results produced limited availability or if we found negative content associated with our selection. > With her name decided, we spent several hours registering…

This is probably a bit cynical of me, but for a moment, I thought this article was a big ad for KnowEm.
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