17 y/o kicked out of house - seeking devilishly motivated partner

Pride in difference between himself and his peers?

You could say all of my studies thus far have been independent ;)

That was a loaded statement followed by a visceral suggestion.

Take years off for introspection? I'd find that quite insulting if suggested to me in person -- I hope you realize that's the opposite of constructive advice.

> I am a ... left-brained neurosis (did you mean 'neurotic?' not sure what this means) diet regimented monk (did you mean 'diet regiment monk'? not sure what this means) zealous disruptive product fiend (did you mean 'zealous fiend for disruptive products'? not sure what this means).

> "All of the above is far too subjective to have any empirical value. So, here is a quick and porous synopsis of my "experience" over the years"

This would read better without the disclaimer, flowery words, and air quotes, e.g.: "Here is a summary of my limited experiences"

> "Age 11 (as far back as I can recall in my life)"

Really? Anyway, why is this important? This whole paragraph would be better if you left out the commentary: "Age 11 - Discovered that I could ping youtube.com and use the resulting IP to get around my school's DNS blocking. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life."

Also, phrases like "my technology inception" stick out like a sore thumb and will make you sound grandiose, regardless of how many disclaimers you include.

> Eight months later, my port-forwarded router became an LLC with 6 full-time employees.

I know what you are trying to do here, but unless you really mean that your router had business papers and employees better keep it simple, especially since this is a story about how you took money from people to run a business whose operations were highly dubious at best.

> Meanwhile, my grades in all but anything STEM were an abysmal.

This is the kind of error you'll catch if you read your prose aloud carefully. Also, "to the demise of the business and the other employees" makes it sound like your mother killed them. I think you meant 'dismay'. Normally I would not comment on these kinds of things, but since you asked...

Your surprise that your your style is attracting more attention than your ideas is another thing that you'll eventually grow out of as you age and learn more about human behavior. In part it's because people feel smart when they notice things; anything that is simply asserted by you will be immediately suspect and scrutinized against other information, namely your other works and overall tone.

This is not unfair, it's actually a big part of communication. You transmitted more information than you intended, and that has business implications.

In your first sentence you say "trust me - I deserve it".

I find it hard to trust you when you didn't even tell us the reason your parents kicked you out.

Care to tell us that?