Alright, here are my honest gripes with facebook:
- Professional contacts. I can't share anything I consider "funny" (in the stupid, I'm-in-my-early-20s way) with friends because I have investors and recruiters and these other professional fucks ready to judge me.
- I'm tired of seeing your achievements. God damn just wait until I get some, okay? I don't care if you just started med school and are posting pics of your doctor ceremony thing. I'm busy making crappy Android apps and trying to quit pornography... Can't exactly brag about that.
- If I post something not cool or impressive, it dilutes my "brand". My reputation is important for getting laid. Therefore I don't post anything and keep my best photos up.
- Speaking of getting laid, too much girl drama whenever I add them on facebook. I don't want you posting a photo of us together, because that sends the signal to other girls that I'm not available when I would definitely consider myself so. I also don't want pics of me and a bunch of my guy friends, because that's "gay" for not having girls in the group.
- Constant reputation management. If I post anything, I need to be vigilant for a few days to make sure no stupid highschool friends post anything.
- Fuck you for backpacking through Europe and taking photos of everything.
- The chat generally only allows for simple and content-lacking conversations (because that's what state your brain is in as you browse FB). Doesn't anyone sit down once in a while and write out emails to those important to them?
- Real-time status updates. "I don't want to see this" is my favorite feature of FB.
- Feeling bad for less socially popular people. When the post an update and aren't getting any likes, I really want to click "like" to make them feel better, but then I remember that I'd look uncool for associating with them.
- Advertisements. I almost feel sorry for FB, because unlike Google (who knows what I'm looking for), they don't have much to work with aside from looking at people instagramming their food or sharing links from news sites such as this one. As a result, their ads always suck. I actually don't mind well-targeted ads that I receive in my gmail inbox.
In short, I hate everything about FB, and it makes me feel like a terrible person everytime I use it.