How do you manage to have a life?

I wouldn't really say I have friends or a life (or at least a "social" one) outside of work. But I wouldn't really say that's a bad thing. I mean you get used to it after a while. If your work is rewarding, then you hopefully you won't feel like your "life is passing you by".

1) I think socializing is overrated, and doing work that is meaningful to you is underrated.

2) It's really all about balance. You probably need a good mixture of the following to be happy: socializing, exercise, work, alone time. A lot of times situations occur where you have to sacrifice one area for another. Like with a startup, you probably have to work a lot more and won' have time for other things. For this reason, I think startup life is unsustainable (because it'll probably make you sacrifice too much socializing/alone time/exercise). However, the upsides of startups are still great, and I think worthwhile, so I think it'd make sense to make a ton of money from a startup after working for a few years, and then rebalance your life afterwards and benefit from the money.

3) Friendships seem to be a function of repeated, unplanned interactions, and of situations that encourage you to let your guard down. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-m.... I'd suggest doing something you love, or starting a new hobby. I meet a lot of people playing basketball. You could take a kickboxing class, or a guitar class, or a dancing class. But maybe you don't want to pay money. Maybe theres a ton of people like you. Maybe there's an opportunity to organize a group of people together, each an expert in something, and you guys take turns teaching each other something new and fun...

I would look for meetups to attend. You could start by attending the local tech/startup meetups. From there you may try other types and keep moving as you meet people. One thing to do is smile, shake hands, and listen to what others have to say. Buy a beer or two to those whose conversation you enjoy.

Pick one habit to change such as your drive home. Here are some variations to your drive home:

A) Instead of driving straight home, stop at a park and walk around. B) If you are the first person to leave, be the last person to leave. C) If you always take the same streets home, purposefully take a different path.

Here's another habit you could change: the ride to work:

A) Instead of driving to work, see if there is a way to carpool, walk, or ride a bike to work. B) Wake up one hour earlier than normal and be the first person in a local coffee shop in the morning. C) Instead of listening to the radio or music, find a podcast or sit in silence.

The idea behind making slight changes to your daily habit actions is that they can cause unknown, unintended, changes (like the butterfly effect) that will lead you down a different path than the one you're on now. In addition to small changes in your habit actions, here are some pretty standard things you can do to "have a life" and "make friends."

1) Be thankful for the life you already have. 2) When someone asks you to do something you wouldn't normally do, consider doing it this time. 3) Join a local church. 4) Find a local meetup on meetup.com. 5) Start a new habit and do something consistently to see who else is doing that same thing consistently. Talk to that person. 6) Help someone younger than you or older than you without expecting to get paid. 7) Look for ways to volunteer. 8) Join a coworking facility. 9) Consistently visit a bar or coffee shop at a certain time. 10) Be the friend you want to have - invite other people to lunch with you, tell other people what you are doing and invite them to join you, throw a party at your house or apartment, rent out a gym and play some dodgeball, join a softball or kickball league, play a pick-up basketball game at the local park.

To do the things you're not doing now, you're going to have to do the things you're not doing now. That means taking a different path through life, doing things a little bit differently, going places you normally don't go, doing things you normally don't do - and being consistent about it.

One thing I've learned about meetups is that to make the lasting friendships there, you can't just show up and leave. You have to close the meetup down and see who's still around, then ask them to go get a beer afterwards. In that way, you'll create a much deeper, longer lasting relationship with someone that could become a friendship.