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Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

richardbarrow.com

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Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#111

Post by Jtsummers »

kintamanimatt wrote: post #107
Jtsummers wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I like your optimism, sadly most people I've seen doing stuff like he describes do it in a distasteful and rude manner. Perhaps he's better than that, I don't know him, and I certainly hope so. I've worked in service industries (of which I'll lump in TSA and Customs officials for now) and have been on the receiving end of it, polite or cordial people are welcome to talk about their experience, but then you get people…

Oh so have I, and I'm specifically excluding the "nah nah nah nah boo boo" folks. The only thing those people do is encourage me to pay no attention to them. I was really talking about those that are able to just go live life, have a great time, and somehow seem to serve as a shining beacon for those lost at sea! It's even better when they have a sense of humor as well as passion. (Writing "most of them" on a landing…

He can be belligerent and totally unsympathetic to most people in any sort of customer or human facing role. He's a better tipper now than he used to be, but can still be rude to harried waitstaff (i.e., when it's clear they have a lot of customers to handle he would get annoyed at having to wait for a refill). He dislikes companies/businesses charging him more than he thinks things are worth, while simultaneously being one of the strongest free-market capitalist supporters in my social circle. And he'll let their employees know he's upset. The irony is apparently lost on him.

With the TSA he likes to derail the process (unless he's short on time). Not just asking for a pat down rather than the scanner (if I gave myself more time at the airport I'd likely do the same), but to the point of abusing the worker rather than making the system itself slow down. Also, he has little regard for those behind him in line, and doesn't mind delaying them a few minutes so he can feel better about himself.

As I haven't spent much time with him (physically parted ways after college) the past few years I can't really recall any more specific incidents, but it was a reason that, in college, it took us about 6 months to become friends. I thought he was a jerk, and I was right, he just happens to be a good friend as well.

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#112

Post by trevelyan »

jasonkester wrote: post #103
niuzeta wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I need to remind you that you're using the fact that your financial situation isn't successful as a justification to being a jerk to another human being. If a border officer was rude to you, then be a jerk to him, not some random stranger who just happened to be in same situation to him.

You're mistaken. I was correcting somebody who wrongly assumed I was using my high social status as a reason to be mean to somebody. And now I'm correcting somebody who wrongly assumed I was being mean because my social status was in fact low. But in actual fact, I was doing that thing you describe in your second paragraph. As it states in my original comment.

Somewhat off-topic in this thread, but I'd like to ask: were you happy when you traveled? How did you deal with social alienation? And where were the best places you went? Are you still doing this?

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#113

Post by jacquesm »

lisper wrote: post #90
jacquesm wrote: post #10

Borders have three uses: 1) to keep people out 2) to keep people in 3) to be able to search/detain people without cause I've yet to see a border that I liked. In plenty of countries this now extends to a certain distance away from the border (sometimes surprisingly large), even when you are not actively crossing or have not crossed.

> I've yet to see a border that I liked The one at Point Roberts is a bit of a hoot: http://blog.rongarret.info/2011/08/three-geopolitical-odditi...

https://maps.google.com/?ll=51.30615,3.609695&spn=0.283743,0...

Another one like that. Only since the tunnel is open can you get to this part of NL without going through Belgium first (or take a boat).

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#114

Post by [deleted] »

jasonkester wrote: post #101
jaysonelliot wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I've read a more privileged, arrogant, myopic comment in a very long time. In what world is it your role to judge a person for going to work every day to feed their family? "Basically, it's your opportunity to remind them that their job is to sit in a little cube talking to people who are actually out there leading exciting lives." I'm trying not to read that sentence in the voice of a young English ari…

Are you some authority appointed to correct the misbehavior of your inferiors? No. If you came away with that impression then you may have misread my intent. My stance is that mean people deserve to live an unhappy life. No more. Nice people, as noted in the comment you responded to, receive no such treatment from me. Mean people get a fictionalized account of a person leading a much better life than themselves, deli…

[deleted]

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#115

Post by aneth5 »

jasonkester wrote: post #101
jaysonelliot wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I've read a more privileged, arrogant, myopic comment in a very long time. In what world is it your role to judge a person for going to work every day to feed their family? "Basically, it's your opportunity to remind them that their job is to sit in a little cube talking to people who are actually out there leading exciting lives." I'm trying not to read that sentence in the voice of a young English ari…

Are you some authority appointed to correct the misbehavior of your inferiors? No. If you came away with that impression then you may have misread my intent. My stance is that mean people deserve to live an unhappy life. No more. Nice people, as noted in the comment you responded to, receive no such treatment from me. Mean people get a fictionalized account of a person leading a much better life than themselves, deli…

Perhaps you should learn to kill meanness with love, not more meanness. In this case, YOU are the mean person, and by your own logic, deserve an unhappy life. But I don't think you do deserve that any more than I think you have the right or justification to be mean to a border agent based on some superficial judgement and prejudice against authority figures. Not only is it likely to result in a negative outcome for yourself, but it misses the opportunity to brighten what may very well be an overworked person with a troubled home life and a sick parent. Are you serving humanity better by being mean to them and making them feel miserable, or by smiling and treating them kindly so they may treat the next person better?

You judge people as mean, and then are mean to them. If you can't see how incredibly myopic, narcissistic, and unevolved that makes you sound, I suggest spending less time traveling and more time getting to know your fellow humans.

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#116

Post by aneth5 »

jasonkester wrote: post #73
aneth5 wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I imagine it's hard for you to see how arrogant and insensitive it is to rub your success and privilege in the face of the middle class. Think about that twice next time. You have a great life. Appreciate it but also appreciate others. Being successful doesn't have to mean being a jerk.

For what it's worth, during the years I actually had these conversations, I doubt I ever made as much as a Customs clerk. I'd bring in maybe $20k in consulting and product income over the course of a year, which was enough to travel on but likely not enough to pay for, say, the apartment that the clerk lived in. There's no requirement for privilege, or even "living wage" to lead such a lifestyle. As such, I appreciat…

That's even worse. You were pretending to be more successful than you are, just to make the guy feel worse.

"I own a software company. It pretty much runs itself these days, and I just check in every once in a while to see how things are going"

Translation: I make lots of money and don't work. Suck it, bitch.

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#117

Post by lambda »

flagnog wrote: post #100
lambda wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Note that in the US, we have strict stop everyone controls at the border (with Canada no less, this isn't just a Mexican border thing), at which you need to show your passport, and we have mobile border controls up to 100 miles within the border. I used to live near a place where they frequently put the "mobile" control on an interstate in Vermont about 80 miles from the border, so I got stopped by it a lot. Of cours…

With 11 million illegals in country I'd say we have anything BUT strict border controls. More like targeted border controls...

I said strict, not effective.

Note also that people who are in this country illegally may have come here legally, and then simply stayed beyond the point that they were allowed to. That has nothing to do with border patrols, but rather whether we feel it's appropriate to aggressively police inside the country for people who may have overstayed the amount of time they were supposed to.

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#119

Post by theycallmemorty »

twoodfin wrote: post #89
jwr wrote: post #80

As a dual-citizen I still find it mind-boggling that a US border guard asks me questions about my private life. It still isn't clear to me what can happen if I answer "wrong" (e.g. the answers do not meet his expectations). For comparison, in many (if not most) countries (I don't want to name my specific case because this could derail the discussino) a border guard presented with a passport issued by his own country…

This is a type of "behavioral profiling". They take you on a random walk down a conversation tree, and unless you're a very good liar, it will be difficult for you to answer the questions without delays, inconsistencies or other signs of prevarication. It's a common claim around here that airport security is mostly theater and that El Al does it right. But El Al uses behavioral profiling, and as you point out, that c…

> it will be difficult for you to answer the questions without delays, inconsistencies or other signs of prevarication.

What if I'm a little absent minded and I already have a hard time answering without delays and inconsistencies?

Re: Detained in the US for “Visiting Thailand Too Much”

#120

Post by kiwifalling »

jasonkester wrote: post #101
jaysonelliot wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I've read a more privileged, arrogant, myopic comment in a very long time. In what world is it your role to judge a person for going to work every day to feed their family? "Basically, it's your opportunity to remind them that their job is to sit in a little cube talking to people who are actually out there leading exciting lives." I'm trying not to read that sentence in the voice of a young English ari…

Are you some authority appointed to correct the misbehavior of your inferiors? No. If you came away with that impression then you may have misread my intent. My stance is that mean people deserve to live an unhappy life. No more. Nice people, as noted in the comment you responded to, receive no such treatment from me. Mean people get a fictionalized account of a person leading a much better life than themselves, deli…

Maybe they're mean because they're forced to deal with unbelievably douchey assholes like yourself every day.
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