If I'm going to India for 5 weeks with my gf, do you think we'd honestly have anything to worry about? I would assume having the guy alongside would tame things down a bit right?
India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
91–100 of 201 posts
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#92I am from India and I have lived in one of the major cities of India for most of my life. I agree this is a very real problem that barely gets noticed. In my opinion there are various reasons for such culture -
1. Gender inequality, though there are many women breaking barriers and taking great strides in India, there is a huge population (urban and rural) that still considers women inferior to men.
2.In typical Indian culture, a son in a family is considered as the one that carries the family blood line forward where as a daughter is considered as a burden on the family. They are considered a burden on the family because the family has to pay an exorbitant dowry when the girl is married, this disgusting practice ruins lives but is unfortunately very prevalent even in rich and educated people.
3. A huge population (mostly the poor and illiterate) consider girls to be destined to do be homemakers, so education for girls is a low priority.
4. Societal pressures are enormous, many people/families of victims would wilfully push things such as harassment or rape under the rug to avoid the societal shame brought by being a victim. And, many of the few that make it through and go to the police for help are turned away or discouraged by the police to not lodge an official complaint reasoning that it would just bring about more shame to their family in the society. So, the cases that surface are just a fraction of what is actually going on. I believe these problems have always been there but just surfacing more frequently now.
5. Most Indian marriages are arranged marriages and there is a huge problem of marital harassment and rape that never makes it out.
6. The culture of arranged marriages coupled with the problem of premarital sex being a taboo in most of the country due to societal and religious reasons, mean that most men can be in their 20s or even late 20s have had very less or no interaction with the opposite sex. The lack of respect due to gender inequality adds to this problem.
There is part of the population that is well educated, informed, financially sound; that do not subscribe to this culture but the truth remains that India has a huge population and most of them are very poor, there is a huge urban and rural population that are very poor, illiterate and what I spoke about here are a big part of their belief systems and culture.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#93Earlier quoted context omitted.
Am I expected to be O.K. with misogyny in the service of "traditional values", or are traditional values beside the point here? A lot of "traditional" values turn out to be wrong.
I think O.P was conflating two issues there, one about patriarchy in India being very traditional, two about misogyny (apparently) being rampant. I for one don't expect anyone to be okay with misogyny, whether it be cultural or not, and I presume all the other Indians here feel the same way.
But aren't patriarchy and misogyny fundamentally related? I mean, are there any societies with strong patriarchal norms but very little misogyny?
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#94If I'm going to India for 5 weeks with my gf, do you think we'd honestly have anything to worry about? I would assume having the guy alongside would tame things down a bit right?
Yes it would cool-off some of the more more aggressive creeps to some extent. Do not stray from the Known destinations (This is not the country to explore "untouched places" unless you are armed & willing to use violence defensively) and do not drink (alcohol/whatever else) with unknown folks.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#95Earlier quoted context omitted.
I agree. But just a word of caution, if we are talking about misogyny and treating women as sexual objects, lets also talk about the porn industry(which today is as responsible for the existence of the internet, as advertising is for Google). Is there a difference when the developed world spends countless hours objectifying women from the safety of their homes through technology?
Looking at pictures and movies of women voluntarily engaged in sex acts is in no way equivalent to groping them in the street, attempting to rape them or depersonalising them and treating them as objects. It's just not.
Forgeting about the india comparison for a sec, there are degrees of 'voluntary.' There are no girls out there who think that they want to be in porn when they grow up.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#96Am I the only one who thinks CNN should not be publishing this story.
It's not vetted in any way, which leads to issues with both it's accuracy and the safety of the author who admits to suicidal thoughts and is currently in a bad mental state.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#97Earlier quoted context omitted.
Looking at pictures and movies of women voluntarily engaged in sex acts is in no way equivalent to groping them in the street, attempting to rape them or depersonalising them and treating them as objects. It's just not.
Forgeting about the india comparison for a sec, there are degrees of 'voluntary.' There are no girls out there who think that they want to be in porn when they grow up.
I suspect that few people grow up wanting to be gas station attendants either. I grew up wanting to be a test pilot, that didn't work out but I am certainly in my current field entirely voluntarily.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#98This behavior is the unfortunate effect of modernization and move into cities. India, is predominantly a rural society. Like many traditional socities in asia, morality is enforced by concepts of honor/shame/loss of face. So, you have individuals who behave appropriately with women in their local villages or towns. Your family will loose face if you behave inappropirately and you will be cut off from society. However…
Your comment captures the ground reality well. Rapid urbanization combined with a weak, ineffectual state is bringing out the worst in young men moving into cities for work.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#99Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think O.P was conflating two issues there, one about patriarchy in India being very traditional, two about misogyny (apparently) being rampant. I for one don't expect anyone to be okay with misogyny, whether it be cultural or not, and I presume all the other Indians here feel the same way.
But aren't patriarchy and misogyny fundamentally related? I mean, are there any societies with strong patriarchal norms but very little misogyny?
It heavily depends on your definitions of both those terms. However, strictly speaking, patriarchy in itself while still constraining of women (an egalitarian society would be much better), also required heavily duty-bound behavior from men. Something which is not conducive to open or effective misogyny.
I do not know of any societies with strong patriarchal norms and very little misogyny, if they do indeed exist.
Re: India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
Am I expected to be O.K. with misogyny in the service of "traditional values", or are traditional values beside the point here? A lot of "traditional" values turn out to be wrong.
I think O.P was conflating two issues there, one about patriarchy in India being very traditional, two about misogyny (apparently) being rampant. I for one don't expect anyone to be okay with misogyny, whether it be cultural or not, and I presume all the other Indians here feel the same way.
Yes you are entirely correct, I mixed up those concepts when I was writing my comment. I meant to highlight the cultural patriarchy and distance myself from the misogyny ("I won't defend this").
I do think much of the misogyny in India stems from their patriarchal values, but misogyny is a social issue rather than a cultural concept. I doubt many Indian women are cool with misogyny...