241–250 of 308 posts
Looking back?!? You're only 21. Go find a sport league in your area, take up skiing or rock climbing.
I'm nowhere near that! Look at Ryan Holiday, he was the director of marketing at American Apparel at fucking 20.
My suggestion is to shift as soon as you can into freelancing and consulting, find interesting projects, work when you feel like working, and stop feeling guilty.
I ran a freelancing company for about 2 years. I did a really shitty job managing clients and would often just ignore their calls. In fact, I'd feel better right away when I ignored them completely. It would just bite my ass in the long run. I ended up being fairly successful from it as even though I was horrible at communication, I worked on an hourly basis instead of milestones and was able to at least deliver some…
I don't know if you're anything like me, but for me it's all about finding motivation. I'm not good at sitting down when I don't feel like working and slogging through 10 hours to further someone else's goals and I don't wish to be good at that. When I've been in those situations I end up spending my time in a way similar to what you describe. But give me ownership of an interesting project and the freedom to work on it according to my own schedule, and I'll happily put in highly productive 50+ hour weeks with no trouble at all. These qualities make me a somewhat crappy employee but a great consultant (and I'd like to think good potential as a founder).
Generally, all your accomplishments are probably being rewarded by societal "strokes" : "Well done, what a great SAT score!", "Wow, you work at Facebook?!", etc;
You're not procrastinating; you're simply not that interested in what you've been sold : work hard, get good grades, make good money, and you'll be happy, they said.
"Building willpower" is the most common counterproductive approach to this problem : it's just more of the same, more of beating your natural self to death with artificial goals and corresponding achievements that don't please you. It works for a while; you put on The Bourne soundtrack or The Dark Knight rises soundtrack, get to the gym (or to your startup's office) and pump out the most awesome set ever. But many things you achieve with sheer willpower often have the opposite effect, and your soul develops further resistance to the activity imposed on it.
It's confusing because there are people who are very similar to you, your peers, your friends, who are actually happy doing the conventional thing : working hard, burning the midnight oil, working at Goldman Sachs or Google (or even in the same office at you), actually completing things...You wonder, "What gives?".
If you're with me this far, I'll continue with the solution to this quandary in the reply; if not, I'd rather get off the soapbox earlier and get back to my work.
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It depends. A gifted and creative programmer may be able to accomplish in 3 hours what takes an average programmer 10, or by coming up with a creative approach to a problem, may be able to accomplish in 3 hours what an average programmer simply cannot do at all. So while a manager may dislike that they perceive someone to be slacking off, it doesn't necessarily mean the person isn't providing a lot of value to the co…
But at the same time, it seems unless there's a physiological difference in people like me, we should be able to condition ourselves into working more. What I'm doing with my extra time is not productive by any measure and although it makes me really good at producing random facts at dinner parties....I can't see much else gained by the time I waste.
Very disciplined people might be able to. You can't discipline yourself into being more disciplined. Accept that first.
The fact that this has been going on for years, and that you feel the procrastination is holding you back from your full potential does sound like it could be ADHD, as others have mentioned. Also, ADHD tends to run in families. So if your dad is the same way... Most people associate ADHD with kids who struggle in school. But highly intelligent people can have it too. It still holds them back from reaching their poten…
Your symptom list is accurate. I'm ADHD and can account for all of these traits, save for alcohol abuse (I dislike alcohol in general and only typically drink Scotch, on occasion, and socially drink with co-workers).
I'm 26 years old. I started my career in computing doing tech support. For at least a decade, I've been aspiring toward this ideal of "becoming a programmer".
What worked for years was convincing myself that I still had plenty of time and my lack of progress could be attributed to [excused by] my upbringing. I grew up in South Africa and was forced into the role of "man of the household" from 14 onwards. Started working full-time at age 15 (at an internet cafe, where I discovered some new vices called "starcraft" and "counter-strike").
I did not go to high-school. All that I am and all that I know is a product only of self-guided interest and study. My little job at the internet cafe granted me the gift of access to the internet after hours. After hour study sessions led me into a career in support and IT beginning at age 16.
Fast-forward 10 years and I'm in, essentially, the same position I was in at 16. I'm still in support, making a pitiable salary. I'm still struggling to manage basic essentials (chores, paying bills on time, getting to work on time, study, motivation), addicted to computer games and in a relationship with someone that I cannot stand.
What ADHD does that's so evil is that it both incapacitates you (unless you have a gun to your head - hence why I was able to pick up IT skills on the job) and blurs your sense of "real-time". The moment you allow yourself to baulk, procrastinate and so on, you essentially box yourself in more and more.
Recently I started amphetamine treatment. So far, it has had a fundamental impact on all aspects of my life. I've picked up SICP and I've started my journey. It's no miracle drug and I am struggling at every turn, but it had made focus-management easier. If you find yourself nodding at the symptoms list get diagnosed as soon as possible.
To start with, they seem to be assuming that there can only be one cause for this type of behavior... that you're secretly profoundly disinterested in whatever you're doing, and that pursuing something else would fix everything. I know that this is wrong from personal experience.
Since I graduated from high school (8 years now) I've been a professional musician -- I've toured nationwide playing for other people, I've worked as a studio musician, I've recorded and produced albums, both my own and other peoples'. I've basically lived the dream job of anybody who has ever been the least bit interested in music... the money sucks, but overall what more could you want as far as spending your time?
I procrastinated heavily through all of it, whenever I was faced with doing something hard (like finishing a song that didn't come easily to me, finishing production work on a friend's album [that turned out to be a fiasco], or actually sitting down and practicing my instrument [I basically never did]). Most of my time I spent sitting with my laptop on my lap, browsing the internet and reading tech blogs -- not doing things that would help me be a better rock star.
I'm now a programmer, and in many ways it's a better fit for my skillset. The challenges are interesting, and the money is a hell of a lot better (most people who say you shouldn't be motivated by money haven't had a significant lack of money to compare it to). I still struggle with procrastination. When I'm faced with doing something hard, I... guess what... browse news and tech blogs on the internet.
So what I love doing, and what I should actually be doing with my life is... sitting in my underwear reading articles on the internet and occasionally watching Hulu/Netflix? Because if I'm not "happy" being a programmer (exercising my mind and making lots of money) and I'm not "happy" being a fucking rock star (performing in front of people, expressing creativity, and having comparative freedom with my time)... what the hell else is there? I'm pretty sure there's no other secret profession out there that offers a radically different experience -- these two jobs are pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum in many ways, and I've enjoyed them both... and I've struggled with procrastination and sheer laziness at both of them.
My point with all of this is just to contradict the people who seem to imply that if you just find the right particular thing to be doing you won't struggle with this any longer, and that you are mis-diagnosing yourself. From my own experience, I would say that is absolutely incorrect. ...Now you may find areas where you may struggle with it less... I got the most excited about working on my own band and doing my own tunes when I was a musician, but I couldn't make a viable income doing just that. Providing for my family is also important to me.
You and I have the same problem -- you're not misdiagnosing yourself. The good news is that it seems like there's tons of useful info in this thread. Work on the laziness / procrastination issues -- I'll work on them too. Hell, we can even work on them together. Once you feel like you've made some progress or at least understand the issue better... if you feel like you really would like to do something other than programming, THEN make a change. As somebody who has been a literal rock star, I feel compelled to mention that programming has a lot of things going for it.
Comment back if you'd like to tackle any of the procrastination stuff together.
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Perhaps without realizing that, but essentially you've just described the Pomodoro Technique, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique :-) It was also my technique for studying for exams through university: 45 minutes of focussed study, followed by a 15 minute break for tea, lunch or fun things. After six of those, I could stop knowing that I had a day well spent. (And as a bonus, I mastered 3-ball juggling af…
) ... sorry
The fact that this has been going on for years, and that you feel the procrastination is holding you back from your full potential does sound like it could be ADHD, as others have mentioned. Also, ADHD tends to run in families. So if your dad is the same way... Most people associate ADHD with kids who struggle in school. But highly intelligent people can have it too. It still holds them back from reaching their poten…
I saw a school psych when I was in college and all it really did was piss me off. The guy spent 30 minutes asking me these types of questions except even more generic and then afterwards said "Yep, you have ADD". I hardly talked about myself and the way he phrased the questions made it super easy to say yes to all of them. He wrote me a prescription and I never got it filled because of how little I felt he actually h…
If you have been procrastinating for years and have a regular routine and numerous personal habits built around procrastination, those don't go away when you take a pill. All the meds do is make you more present, which would understandably make you more conscious of those routines and habits. That might not be fun -- but it is the first step in changing the habits.
Have you talked to anyone besides the school psych? If it is ADHD (and sorry to hear they half-assed your assessment), then meds are only part of the solution. Regular exercise, a more structured routine, eliminating distractions, finding a partner who supports you, etc. are also important.
You can learn more on your own via books or trial-and-error, or by finding a clinician who can be like a coach to help you figure out what works best for you. The book I listed above talks about all the non-med things you could be doing: one of the authors has ADHD but doesn't find meds helpful for him, so he uses a number of lifestyle changes and natural alternatives instead. Also, the authors have a specialized clinic outside of Boston, and there are other centers like this around, with people far more competent than the school psych who can spend the time to help figure this out.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
But at the same time, it seems unless there's a physiological difference in people like me, we should be able to condition ourselves into working more. What I'm doing with my extra time is not productive by any measure and although it makes me really good at producing random facts at dinner parties....I can't see much else gained by the time I waste.
>we should be able to condition ourselves into workin more. Very disciplined people might be able to. You can't discipline yourself into being more disciplined. Accept that first.
I feel compelled to strongly disagree with all the people who are saying "You're not a procrastinator, you're just not doing what you love." Don't believe them. To start with, they seem to be assuming that there can only be one cause for this type of behavior... that you're secretly profoundly disinterested in whatever you're doing, and that pursuing something else would fix everything. I know that this is wrong from…