Log off all this crap on the internet now and get back to work. Stop reading this thread and start asking someone to review the crap code you're writing. And fill your vast amount of freetime at work actually doing something to improve your company. They pay your bills so you can click keys and press buttons. So stop pressing the wrong keys and start typing something productive not posts like these. Also, stop readin…
Just stop beeing depressed. Just stop beeing sucidal. Just stop taking drugs. Just stop drinking alcohol. Would be great if the world would work this way.
Also, I struggle with all the same issues and I know people I manage do too. One actual thing that's helped is that we run semi-automated time tracking software. I don't have a preferred tracking software yet, but something like this looks good: http://www.taskcoach.org ... There's nothing like stepping on the scale and seeing you're overweight to know inspire you to lose weight. In the same sense, there's nothing like finishing a hard 10 hour day with time tracking software and realize you've only worked/billed 5 hours. It very quickly becomes a great positive reinforcement. Pretty soon for me after using time tracking, when I take 10 hours for work, I get in about 8 or 9, which is pretty good.
Further, in my own life, becoming a freelancer and independent contractor is the single choice I can point to that has drastically boosted my happiness and productivity, which I think are tightly coupled for workers. I do better working on my own schedule with no pressure to show up at certain times. And I work from home. Remember that even though there's a time to buckle down and do your best in your current situation, there's also a time to acknowledge that you're not happy and to change your life, by say, taking a different job you think you'll do better at. My $.02 obviously. But I hope that helps.