Im in BC too, would be happy to chat, just msg me or reply to this comment with a way to reach you, what do you have to lose? =)
Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
21–30 of 39 posts
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#22You started your post with "I can't think straight", and I think that is something you can maybe focus on. You realise you are not thinking straight, you realise your life is in limbo. Those are not reasons to end it, rather they are reasons to get your thinking straight. As many others have mentioned, there is help available to you, particularly in Vancouver.
I responded to your previous post about your PM, and I'm sorry to hear that didn't work out. Don't give him and the company the satisfaction of knowing they beat you. You're not done, you've still got work to do in this world.
There are MANY, MANY people far worse off than you at this moment, and they're pushing through, and fighting for something better. You're not alone, things will get better, as long as you stick it out, and know that you can.
Get your thinking straight, get out of limbo. You don't need a job or degree to define you. You don't need a father or family to know you exist. Your mother clearly knows you exist, and I suspect she needs you. What will happen to her without you.
Didn't Steve Jobs also not have a relationship with his father? Did that stop him?
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#23If you received a full scholarship to law school, then you must have a good head on your shoulders.
Talk to someone, keep your chin up.
Contact that law school and explain you needed to provide for you mom and see if they will let you in now! I have no idea if something like that would exist but doesn't hurt to explore it.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#24Assuming this isn't some kind of juvenile troll, you just wrote like 9 paragraphs of English prose without any obvious spelling or grammar mistakes... that puts you in the top 1% of people that can write. That's something.
Here, listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE
There, fixed it.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#25One more thing:
If you do suffer from depression (and it sounds like it), you also need to know the following about it, before doing anything else:
Depression happens when your brain doesn't have enough neurotransmitters, such as serotonine, dopamine and some others (= some chemicals).
Where does that come from?
It can be a genetic predisposition and it can be your life circumstances (such as toxic people, toxic work conditions, a couple of "bad habits" or emotionally heavy events in your life) and often it's a very individual cocktail of those things.
But the take-away is this: In the end, it all comes down to A FEW MOLECULES IN YOUR BRAIN that are (temporarily) missing and that COMPLETELY WARP your vision of things. In other words: your brain is lying to you! How can you make the right decisions with that? You simply can't. And nobody can judge you for that.
You now probably see why taking one's life is not necessary, when you can correct the issue with meds almost instantly (within a few hours) and then get your shrink to help you back on track for the long term.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#26Your life is not a joke. You've sacrificed tremendously to help someone who doesn't even seem to appreciate it. Your desire to sacrifice repeatedly for someone else is incredibly meaningful and rare - and such actions are far from mistakes. Empathy and compassion are the essence of meaning and you have an incredible ability to provide this love even when it is not reciprocated. Someone who lives this way could never be a joke.
You deserve happiness and you deserve to have your tremendous compassion recognized and returned in kind. I hope you will be able to put yourself in an environment that is free of negative individuals, because anyone lucky enough to be exposed to your tremendous selflessness could not help themselves but to respond with love and appreciation.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#27There are some good answers and advice in the comments here. One thing that appears to have been missed is - there is an underlying issue that you may or may not have identified yet which will have a major impact on your psyche. Being rejected by a parent is one of the most soul-crushing things that can happen to a person. Our sense of self worth and our relationships with others is largely defined by our relationship with our parents ... the one people who are supposed to love us unconditionally.
I have seen its impact on friends and family, and it remains as a major influencer all throughout life if not addressed. I recommend speaking to a specialist about this.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#28I'm up in mackenzie brushing minimum wage, sometimes less, it is piecework; nothing like physical labour, to motivate yourself. We've got work till Aug 12. You will be stung by hornets everyday and we work from 4am till 3 PM. There is a significant cost outlay to get a brushing saw, so I don't recommend this job. 25 bucks a day camp cost. Treeplanters and brushers pretty chill.
Just in case you don't have enough hours for ei.
Edit-- also fathers don't really matter that much, for happy lives.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#29You do belong! but need to clear your head. you will think more clearly if you do the following 4 things:
1. get good sleep. 8-9 hrs for at least 5 days. 2. go to the gym. run. lift weights. 3. eat healthy. no sugar. 4. try to reduce your stress.
also may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. they may add 5-9, but will start you on 1-4.
Re: Ask HN: I can't think straight, my life is in limbo, and I want to end it now
#30Please don't die, someone somewhere needs you, she hasn't had anyone she enjoys talking to as much in 2 years. She nearly lost her mind when she saw your facebook status, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't focus on work, ditched the dinner plan that she had. Tried to phone you every half an hour but you wouldn't pick up.You never knew it was the most fun game jam and hiking she's been to, and how much she enjoys failing at badminton with you. And how sad she is about going back to college because she won't see you as much anymore. And how she's crying her eyes out reading this. Just don't die, please, i beg you.