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Why I won't speak at women-only events

guardian.co.uk

11–20 of 136 posts

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#11
post #8
post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How would you feel about an event with a female only speaker list? Instinctively, it raises my hackles, because positive discrimination is still discrimination, but I've seen it work really well in stand up comedy. Women standups only events have a very different feel, but you are also more likely to see women do standup that is normally male territory. So you might see an angry female political shock comic, whereas…

Are they all qualified speakers who are insightful and sharing something I can learn from? In that case, I wouldn't mind one bit.

This reminds me of a joke. HR person comes to the boss and says "I've got two candidates for the job. Joe and Jane."

The boss interrupts the HR person. "You know, I've had it with all this affirmative action and diversity crap. It's a waste of time. Let's just stop all this. I just want to interview the best qualified person."

The HR person says "Ok, boss." The next day Jane shows up for the interview.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#12

I've attended several gender balance events (in politics, more than tech) and been one of the 2-3% of the audience who were male. They were some of the best I've been to, and I wish more dudes would turn up and learn from them.

The few female focused technology events that I have seen promoted locally give off the vibe of a private members club. They don't say it explicitly, but hint with words like attendees are welcome to take their partners etc. It just seems strange to me because other events have nothing like that style of language.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#13
I spoke at SpainJS. It was a small conference, and unsurprisingly, most of the audience were from Spain.

I obviously was not reaching "everyone," but so what? I reached 300 people, and the politics of why a conference was put together to appeal to Spaniards (is that a word?) is of no consequence to me.

If I were a politician I'd attend Church pancake breakfasts and lunch with the Greek Business Chamber. Humans clump and cluster for all sorts of reasons. I support some, am indifferent to others, and frown at a few more.

But in the end, if the people in attendance are people I want to reach, I'll go. If their politics don't appeal to me, I'll avoid discussing the subject.

JM2C, I can't tell anyone else what to do.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#14
post #12

I've attended several gender balance events (in politics, more than tech) and been one of the 2-3% of the audience who were male. They were some of the best I've been to, and I wish more dudes would turn up and learn from them.

The few female focused technology events that I have seen promoted locally give off the vibe of a private members club. They don't say it explicitly, but hint with words like attendees are welcome to take their partners etc. It just seems strange to me because other events have nothing like that style of language.

I think that says more about you than them.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#15
post #7

She nailed it: it's a waste of my time to be invisible to half the people I need to talk to. The danger with women-only events is that they become perceived as a ghetto. By opening the doors to all, the entire community has a voice, which is as it needs to be if women are to be full, mainstream members of tech communities. There's a place for "safe spaces" if people are sharing extremely personal stories (e.g. sexual…

How would you feel about an event with a female only speaker list? Instinctively, it raises my hackles, because positive discrimination is still discrimination, but I've seen it work really well in stand up comedy. Women standups only events have a very different feel, but you are also more likely to see women do standup that is normally male territory. So you might see an angry female political shock comic, whereas…

If it was coincidence, no problem.

The issue here is that she got some notoriety exploiting the gender issue, and now she's burned out because of the gender issue and she doesn't want that.

Typical case of wanting to have the cake and eating it too.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#16
I wouldn't believe for a second that Meg Whitman, Marissa Mayer, Virginia Rometty, or Carly Fiorina have this problem.

Parmer's column is accurate but not perplexing given what she said about being the CEO of Lady Geek. Her choice of target market (explained fairly well in its name) defines the context of her target audience.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#17
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are they all qualified speakers who are insightful and sharing something I can learn from? In that case, I wouldn't mind one bit.

This reminds me of a joke. HR person comes to the boss and says "I've got two candidates for the job. Joe and Jane." The boss interrupts the HR person. "You know, I've had it with all this affirmative action and diversity crap. It's a waste of time. Let's just stop all this. I just want to interview the best qualified person." The HR person says "Ok, boss." The next day Jane shows up for the interview.

So... where's the joke?

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#18
post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This reminds me of a joke. HR person comes to the boss and says "I've got two candidates for the job. Joe and Jane." The boss interrupts the HR person. "You know, I've had it with all this affirmative action and diversity crap. It's a waste of time. Let's just stop all this. I just want to interview the best qualified person." The HR person says "Ok, boss." The next day Jane shows up for the interview.

So... where's the joke?

The idea that HR could actually pick the most qualified person?

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#19

I spoke at SpainJS. It was a small conference, and unsurprisingly, most of the audience were from Spain. I obviously was not reaching "everyone," but so what? I reached 300 people, and the politics of why a conference was put together to appeal to Spaniards (is that a word?) is of no consequence to me. If I were a politician I'd attend Church pancake breakfasts and lunch with the Greek Business Chamber. Humans clump…

Some might say if your speaking at an audience "reaches" a single person, then you have achieved more than you could have ever asked for.

Re: Why I won't speak at women-only events

#20
The reason I don't listen to women in tech presentations:

1. I'm basically not allowed to voice an opinion that isn't completely aligned with the feminist status quo (I believe in equality, fuck me right).

2. I'd rather learn how to build a better emberjs app. Or learn more about thorium.

3. Unlike the vast majority of problems, there are few concrete steps to be taken to correct the imbalances that do exist.

Edit:

I can't believe I had to self sensor, just to hit the post button.

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