Brings this to mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY
Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
11–20 of 52 posts
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#12Men aren't the only ones who just won't take a hint. I had a woman that I finally had to physically stop her by twisting her hands when she pulled the chair I was sitting on out because she insited on dancing with me.
So yeah please everybody try to learn to take a hint.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#13"...wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer." Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much. And the "because I'm a writer" stuff doesn't even make sense. Becau…
>Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much.
No, it does not negate it one fucking iota.
Appreciating a beautiful woman or dress is not sexist in the least. Period.
Appreciating the beauty (in your eyes) of a person of the other sex, and even more, gathering some courage to go and talk and flirt, is how you (and me, and just about everybody fucking else) got into this planet. It's the very basis of every love story.
Only a prudish society, which evolved politically correctness to take the place of its older puritan religious blockings, would ever make the claim that this is the same thing as being "sexist".
What exactly would be the "right thing"?
To only ever be attracted to a person you're in a relationship with? To which you'll end up with in a magical unicorn way, because it would be sexist to like (and even lust) for that person (and, say, his smile or her dress) before you are together?
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#14Honestly while I understand the obvious concerns, I would like to point out that the writer is doing the job of expressing emotions for all the parties involved. An important question is whether verbal communication really implies anything. What if the other guy was stoic and the fact that he himself was being bothered did not matter. What if he was a bisexual. Its important that writer wants to frame himself as hero…
Not to mention: I know several very happy couples, were the other person ignored and or denied the other's approach for a long time, before they finally clicked.
Should the approaching person had quit, lest he be called a creepy sexist?
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#15"...wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer." Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much. And the "because I'm a writer" stuff doesn't even make sense. Becau…
Wait, it's sexist to thank God for the physical qualities of the opposite sex? Thank God for the physical qualities of the opposite sex. (Or evolution, whatever.)
It follows a feminist narrative where woman are asexual beings and sex is something only men like and force upon women. (sex-negative feminism) In such a narrative every statement of attractiveness is ultimately a outing a want-to-be rapist or a predator. If you are in such a narrative it also makes perfect sense to say it's sexist. Outside of that narrative hardly.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#16Is it weird that when I saw the headline I thought this was going to be article about how calling a guy creepy is the same thing as slut-shaming but for males? And that this guy was going to offer up a sort of fix to the problem of inappropriately "creep-shaming" men? Instead I got a humble-brag that reinforces the creep narrative.
The problem with the "creepy guy" narrative is that the really bad men out there aren't the ones who bear the brunt of the nastiness.
The guy he described wasn't a traditional "creepy guy", but a macho alpha male. Different breed. The latter carries the sense of entitlement and swagger because, on its own terms, that approach works. Many women respond positively to it (which does not make it right, because plenty of women don't). He's an arrogant jerk because he's gotten away with it for a long time.
The issue with that whole stigma is that there are some really bad men out there-- for whom that repulsion is justified-- but the guys who get the "creepy" treatment are the socially awkward men with average intentions. The fact that so many bad men get rewarded (at least in high school and college) makes the whole thing worse.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#17"...wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer." Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much. And the "because I'm a writer" stuff doesn't even make sense. Becau…
Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much.
I agree with you. If someone (male or female) were writing about an interaction with the genders reversed, you probably wouldn't hear anything about how good-looking the guy was or what he was wearing.
The (unconscious) sexism is not in finding her attractive (obviously) but in the fact that her attractiveness is treated as a relevant detail. How would it be different if she were unattractive? It wouldn't.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#18The hidden part about this story is that the woman is still not empowered. She's now the princess to the knight in shining armor, rescued from the horrible dragon. The author hasn't changed the narrative, he's completed it.
It's still a story where a man decides the outcome. What he did was indeed chivalrous, good even, but chivalry is nothing original.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#19"...wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer." Kind of negates the whole "I'm not a sexist" take on the situation. If you're going to write about how much of a chivalrous guy you are, you should probably also be more careful with the way you describe the thin skirts that you like so much. And the "because I'm a writer" stuff doesn't even make sense. Becau…
Another way to look at this would be to say, "we (i.e., men) are all sexist and we need to help each other not treat women like crap/objects/trophies".
I don't like this way of interpreting the author's article, because it portrays women as helpless princesses that need saving, but I'm not sure what a better one would be.
Re: Changing The Creepy Guy Narrative
#20[deleted]