There's a good anime/manga about the subject, called "Welcome to NHK" (NHK = Nihon Hikkikomori, not the TV station with the same name). It captures the situation pretty well.
You didn't even click the link did you
Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
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Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#22Hikikomori, momorikiki. Those are usual mental health problems such as depression (probably, around 98%), psychopathy, or mental retardation. Those guys just need to see the doctor, a psychotherapist.
Giving them tags and doing nothing about their problems is just uncivilized, such as in developing countries where most people are uneducated, the people with rare physical diseases who desperately need help get alienated or are made fun of.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#23This is a personal anecdote, but it happened last week seems relevant-ish:
My landlord is a hikikomori. He is around 50-60 years old, and refuses to leave his room in his house; he instead barks orders at his extremely elderly mother (we're talking older than dirt here; I wouldn't be surprised if she was older than 80).
She is a very kind old woman. I was shocked that he sent her to collect water money (we pay to our landlord instead of directly to the utility; they are quite wealthy and generous, so I doubt it is a scheme to extract extra cash from tenants) as I live on the third floor of a building with no elevator.
I found out about he was that way when I went over to their house to pay my water bill; I didn't want to make her walk up all those stairs again for the sake of around twenty dollars. My water heater was kinda-sorta broken from being quite old (probably as old as the building, so 1991).
She thought it was my air conditioner that was broken, and I corrected her. She stood at the open door his dark, shuttered room (this is around noon) and asked him if that was correct. He growled back in an annoyed tone "I TOLD YOU IT WAS THE WATER HEATER!"
Even though I told her it was fine, she apologized profusely, gave me some vegetables, and sent me on my way.
The whole experience was surreal...
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#24Hikikomori might be a Japanese term, but its not a Japanese phenomenon. I know dozens of my American friends who do the same thing -- hide from seemingly unprecedented expectations and similarly daunting odds, hide from society in alcohol, in television, in dual 2560x1600 monitors, even in exercise. (My room was video games, and I'm glad I found the doorknob.)
I understand this completely, having been through much the same during a darker period of my life. Seriously dark. Flat Black. Sometimes I still can't believe I found the "doorknob", but I'm really glad I did. Also, reading the term NEET here reminded me of Eden of the East, which is a cool Anime if anyone is into that.
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Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#25"I was very well mentally, but my parents pushed me the way I didn't want to go," he says. "My father is an artist and he runs his own business - he wanted me to do the same." But Matsu wanted to become a computer programmer in a large firm - one of corporate Japan's army of "salarymen. But my father said: 'In the future there won't be a society like that.' He said: 'Don't become a salaryman.'" Starting your own SaaS…
I know a few people in my generation who "opted out" of The Offer (+) who eventually found themselves doing web freelancing. There are social difficulties involved in doing it, but they're successful and MUCH happier with it than they were in their brief forays to salarymandom. We'll be getting together for our college club annual reunion in September and once more trying to tell kids "Hey guys, if the salaryman thin…
There are also people who accept The Offer because they feel they have no other option. And they are not so happy about their job, but they feel they cannot quit for various social reasons ("But everyone would love to have my job at MegaCorp", "If I quit, what if I fail?"). My gentle prodding to test their comfort zone sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#26"I was very well mentally, but my parents pushed me the way I didn't want to go," he says. "My father is an artist and he runs his own business - he wanted me to do the same." But Matsu wanted to become a computer programmer in a large firm - one of corporate Japan's army of "salarymen. But my father said: 'In the future there won't be a society like that.' He said: 'Don't become a salaryman.'" Starting your own SaaS…
>Starting your own SaaS/app/startup isn't that common for Japanese people, but it is starting to pick up more steam over the past few years. Sounds like his father would be happy to know what he can do with his computer skills if he expands out to becoming an entrepreneur.
The skillsets involved in running your own company and the skillsets involved in working for someone else... are very different animals. Especially for those without social skills (or who don't particularly enjoy social interaction) being an employee can be way easier.
I'm not even that introverted; compared to your average programmer/sysadmin, I might even be a little bit extroverted. But I find the level of dealmaking I have to do at my company exhausting, in a way that the technical work I have to do is not.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#27If I had the money I would probably stay at home all the time as well. I have no problem socializing and doing stuff. It's just that I prefer being home.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#28Hikikomori might be a Japanese term, but its not a Japanese phenomenon. I know dozens of my American friends who do the same thing -- hide from seemingly unprecedented expectations and similarly daunting odds, hide from society in alcohol, in television, in dual 2560x1600 monitors, even in exercise. (My room was video games, and I'm glad I found the doorknob.)
Hikikomori is a Japanese phenomenon. It can't be an American phenomenon because it describes people living in Japan, influenced by Japanese society. Japan and America are night and day.
Also, people devoted to exercise are probably not recluses (which is what Hikikomori are), but they may be introverts. Reclusion != introversion.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#29Turning a mental illness into a sub-culture so society doesn't have to deal with it. Very nice.
Re: Hikikomori: Why are so many Japanese men refusing to leave their rooms?
#30I think the simplest explanation is the one always ignored. Japan is a tough place to live and raise a family. It's super expensive, the economy has been in a funk for a long time, the work hours are widely known to be brutally long, people don't know anything but work and sleep over there. When one is confronted by this harsh reality, one wonders, what's the point? So they either commit suicide, which Japan ranks am…
I think you ignore the fact that parents accept the phenomenon and don't do anything about it. They let their children become apathetic and do not take action. I see that numerous times in Japan (I live here) where there is a clear detachment between family members and an agreement that they should not influence each other's lives.
It seems incredibly broken from the outside to have parents "play the game" (not that it's a fun game in any way), but compare it to other countries where kids in a dead end will:
- kill themself or hurt themself repeatedly (the standard outcome) - do drugs - rampage at every occasion (british chavs ?) - kill others (eventually their bullies when they are bullied) - go to prison for a reason or another
If the parents knew what to do or could do it they would try. Sometimes the parents themself are so broken mentally from the weight of the situation that they are in. I think you are spot on about the parents not engaging enough with their chldren until they reach this points. The guilt about their failure as parents is also a factor in letting the kid go hikikomori instead of forcing him into anther way.