"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
It's simple folks. If you still trust FB with anything at this point you're going to get hurt. If you do trust them with something and they burn you then it's your fault.
Never Trust Facebook
181–190 of 201 posts
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#182Facebook has value, but no matter what your privacy settings are set to, no matter what you delete, always assume that anything you write or do on Facebook - in any context - will be embarrassingly public. 1) Because it will and 2) because it just makes life easier. When my wife and I were first dating, for religious and cultural reasons her parents didn't know. Her parents are conservative Muslims and mine conservat…
You are way too easy on FB for destroying your girlfriend's relationship with her parents. Clearly, FB deserves at least some of the blame. Without your consent, they made private photos public. You didn't do that. You used their privacy settings which they created to prevent this type of situation. To have FB disregard their own privacy settings is 100% on them. But, instead of blaming FB, you blame yourself. In lig…
FB has (disregarded|overridden|conveniently forgotten| changed) their own privacy settings so much at this point why bother. It's a complete sham, a lie, bullshit, etc.
There's really nothing you can do about this state of affairs except quit FB. They know you won't so they'll just keep fucking you. FB doesn't respect you like they don't respect their own ToS. Their job is to fuck you, over and over. That's their business plan and purpose of existence. Your job is to get fucked. Recognize your place in this relationship.
If you're uncomfortable about this relationship then leave. Otherwise STFU. Stop telling me that FB did something terrible with your precious personal information again. It's like someone complaining that their car got stolen after they left the keys sitting on top of it in a bad neighborhood. WTF did you expect?
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#183FB has, over the years, gradually lost my trust until I deleted my account in November 2010 after having been a member since late 2004 when FB was college-only. As a 20-something living in SF, it's a daily thing now: I don't get invited to parties, I don't know about birthdays, I don't see my friends' photos, I don't have any contact with anyone from high school or college anymore. There is a real social cost for som…
Most of my friends are on FB as well whereas I'm not. They almost always tell me when something is going on. Sometimes they forget, but then they apologize.
Try to focus on getting a core group of friends that you maintain regular contact with. Call them, email them, sms them. Use communication forms other than FB to get at them and eventually you'll train them to include you. If not then get some new friends.
Join a table top gaming club. There seems to be a resurgence of table op gaming going on that's really exciting. And it's a great way to meet people.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#184Earlier quoted context omitted.
Since killing my account (because they kept resetting my privacy settings to public... bastards) I've outsourced my Facebook Birthday/Party monitoring to my girlfriend.
It's risky to own lots of stock in your employer because you losing your job would be more likely to come at a time when your investments were worth less. It's risky to let your SO handle too much of your social life for similar reasons. I'm very close to my wife and can't imagine getting a divorce, but I think it's healthy that we manage our own social calendars.
I'm similar to BWStearns, I let my girlfriend monitor facebook for events, we often both get invited to events where only one of us attend or one of us is invited by the other isn't. That's not to say she manages my calendar. We have both our own GCals (viewable by the other) and a shared GCal, we've had a long standing agreement that if we book anything in our own calendar attendance by the other is not expected and our shared calendar is attendance optional unless otherwise specified.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#185Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are way too easy on FB for destroying your girlfriend's relationship with her parents. Clearly, FB deserves at least some of the blame. Without your consent, they made private photos public. You didn't do that. You used their privacy settings which they created to prevent this type of situation. To have FB disregard their own privacy settings is 100% on them. But, instead of blaming FB, you blame yourself. In lig…
FB has (disregarded|overridden|conveniently forgotten| changed) their own privacy settings so much at this point why bother. It's a complete sham, a lie, bullshit, etc. There's really nothing you can do about this state of affairs except quit FB. They know you won't so they'll just keep fucking you. FB doesn't respect you like they don't respect their own ToS. Their job is to fuck you, over and over. That's their bus…
I did leave. Four years ago.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#186Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are way too easy on FB for destroying your girlfriend's relationship with her parents. Clearly, FB deserves at least some of the blame. Without your consent, they made private photos public. You didn't do that. You used their privacy settings which they created to prevent this type of situation. To have FB disregard their own privacy settings is 100% on them. But, instead of blaming FB, you blame yourself. In lig…
While true, it's not like this wouldn't have happened eventually anyway. Were they going to keep this relationship secret from her parents forever? How well would that ultimately work out?
This has nothing to do with the discussion at hand.
Or actually, it does, but in the sense that your argument is pretty much analogous to the "if you have nothing to hide" argument.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#187"That is why I may delete my Facebook account. And that is why you should too." We should also do something that you're not even certain you're going to do yourself?
Previously on the same blog (and linked to at the bottom of the post no less!):
``Don't Be Fooled Facebook Is Forever''[1]:
I stopped using Facebook because I distrusted them,
and what I discovered yesterday only confirms that
I was right.
All this may take a while, but I’m going to remove
myself from Facebook and I’m going to do it on my
terms, not theirs.
[2]: https://wellpreparedmind.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/facebook-t...
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#188Not having facebook makes you look like an anti-social element irrespective of what it does to your mental health and well being. At the end of the day, I feel like make a small circle of friends that engage with you on deep level and not just superficially. What kind of friend it would who couldn't or forgets to text or call you?
That's exactly my feeling on it. Since I left Facebook at the start of 2011, I've seen my friends just as much --- perhaps more --- than when I was on there, and I hear from them at least as frequently. The only difference is that I don't get the occasional, insincere message from people I went to school with who are bored and looking for something to do.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
As long as you're here, any comment on the (current) top-rated comment by lukejduncan? How can we trust that our private information today won't be similarly exposed by a settings change tomorrow? (I hope that nothing I've posted would endanger my relationship with my family, but I know others aren't as safe.)
I'd like to think we wouldn't need to make such a fundamental change again in the future, but if we did decide it was necessary, I hope that we would give everyone plenty of time to make whatever change to their account was necessary to avoid painful outcomes like that.
"I hope" isn't much comfort.
Re: Never Trust Facebook
#190My name is Scott Renfro, and I’m a software engineer at Facebook working on security and privacy. I thought I'd post the comment I submitted on the original blog post here as well. We’ve put a lot of work into making deletions permanent, so I can imagine how frustrated you must be. I’m pretty sure those story deletions are permanent, and I can’t think of any place where we can or do automatically restore user-deleted…
>We’ve put a lot of work into making deletions permanent, so I can imagine how frustrated you must be It shouldn't be necessary to put a lot of work. Just delete the content, clobber it with blank fields, or randomized content. It really is very easy. The problem is that your company's policy is to never truly delete content despite calling it "delete", there are many ways to weasel-word it ("many software subsystems…
When the delete button affects a single row in a single database table, it's indeed really simple. Even if it's a few rows on a single database, you can use transactions. Either way, the deletion succeeds or you surface an error message.
But for a large social site, it starts to become a more interesting distributed systems problem.
Even for a simple story with 4 likes, 12 comments, and likes on several of the comments, the data is sharded across several databases. Simple transactions no longer work. One option is looking for scalable distributed transactions. A more likely option is making sure deletions can be interrupted and restarted without losing state.
Now imagine a public figure whose post has tens of thousands of comments and hundreds of thousands likes. You may not be able to load all of those rows in a single request let alone delete them synchronously. Instead, you have to be able to process the deletion incrementally, reading and deleting some of the data then later picking up where you left off the last time you were interrupted.
Interestingly, the order of these operations can also be important. If you're interrupted between deleting a comment and deleting the likes on that comment, will you still be able to find the likes when you restart?
We've put a lot of work into a deletion framework that deals with these and many other issues. We're hoping to share more details about it in the future.