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I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

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Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#101

Post by ruswick »

polskibus wrote: post #95
ruswick wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a positive correlation between frequency of use of personal pronouns and of insecurity and inferiority. This sort of inferiority can manifest itself structurally, eg. an army private vs. a captain, or individually, eg. insecurity and conceit. Based on the sheer volume of personal pronouns, it is clear that he is being subjected to a sort of myopia, and that he can't look at the issue objectively. Removing on…

I'd love to read more about the correlation you mention. Can you share a reference to a relevant publication ?

It was discussed in The Secret Life of Pronouns by James Pennebaker (Although I only read about his finding in an interview in HBR). A few of his most salient points are explained in this article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201108/the-is-have-i....

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#102

Post by Spooky23 »

simonbarker87 wrote: post #98
Spooky23 wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's irritating when you read a narrative that is very heavy with personal pronouns, because you generally are reading a bunch of declarations strung together. As a reader, you're stuck wading through the muck to figure out WTF is actually being said. The whole point of introspection is to examine your actions and reach conclusions. Nobody cares about the minutae. If you're describing a trip to Tahiti, don't make me…

Good example, my issue was really that the suggestion of changing I to he/she etc by edw519 was overly flippant and added little value to the OP; who probably liked constructive feedback - nice job on clarifying

Writing is a craft like programming in that you must learn by doing, and you need to leave rough edges behind to polish. My writing ability was "leveled up" by merciless teachers who would torture us with seemingly impossible tasks.

One of my favorite teachers ever was a History professor who taught "The History of Warfare". Writing assignments were due every week and covered a fairly substantial scope. The catch: It had to be written by hand (this was 1998) and had to fit on one side of a sheet of college-ruled loose-leaf paper. The first draft of my first paper was 6 pages long, and took about 3 days to proofread/boil down to what it needed to say. (I still remember way too much about Gustavus Adolphus because of that.) By the end of the semester, I was able to whip out a single sheet in about 45 minutes. I learned alot about the history of warfare, but learned far more about clarity of thought and getting to the root of things.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#103

Post by casual_slacker »

btilly wrote: post #81

Here is a td;lr. I keep on making the mistake of throwing away what I've got and starting over because I've learned how to do things better. I've just made this mistake again, but it's better because I've learned how to do it better this time, honest. My response to this. Don't write the retrospective bragging about what you've learned until after you have demonstrated success in a measurable way. I've encountered th…

What I see is the common mistake of confusing inexperience for complexity. He didn't know all the ins-and-outs of rails, probably went against the grain, and had unmaintainable code. Same thing happened when his browser app became complex.

I don't know why you included the bit about manic depression. If you can pick up a framework and build a full production app on your first try, then you're probably more impressive than the rest of us.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#104

Post by jasonlotito »

delinka wrote: post #40
jasonlotito wrote: post #4

> I am not very focused and easily distracted. Unless you are embellishing, get checked for ADHD. Disclaimer: I have ADHD and OCD.

I'm not ADHD. I do, however, love chasing rabbits right into their holes. And exploring the intricate network of passages they've made. What I mean is that as I search for a solution in the API docs, I stumble across other things that look interesting. Or bits of detail that further explain how this library is built. Or explain the dependence of this function on a specific language feature. It's fascinating. And ulti…

> I'm not ADHD.

Please note, I'm not saying anyone has ADHD. I'm not qualified to make that assessment.

However, I'm going to make a guess and assume you aren't qualified to make that assessment either.

Getting checked for ADHD and OCD has made a big impact on my life. I didn't think I had ADHD either. I was getting checked for OCD for something unrelated to ADHD, and this came up.

What I considered a normal life, being distracted normally, etc - well, I learned it wasn't normal.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#105

Post by paxtonab »

btilly wrote: post #81

Here is a td;lr. I keep on making the mistake of throwing away what I've got and starting over because I've learned how to do things better. I've just made this mistake again, but it's better because I've learned how to do it better this time, honest. My response to this. Don't write the retrospective bragging about what you've learned until after you have demonstrated success in a measurable way. I've encountered th…

I don't think the buddy who wrote the article is manic depressive... Definitely a long shot. He just seems like the stereotypical ADD teenager/college freshman who has no guidance. I feel like his experience is very similar to my early working years, especially when you are working on a project by yourself, with no one to benchmark yourself against.

That being said the article comes off as way too much of a "Look at all teh knowledges I have" humble brag, with not enough "I severely screwed over my friends (even if I was working for free) because after 2 years I still haven't delivered..." In the real world this situation results in unemployment not a self-congratulatory pat on the back.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#106

Post by encoderer »

btilly wrote: post #81

Here is a td;lr. I keep on making the mistake of throwing away what I've got and starting over because I've learned how to do things better. I've just made this mistake again, but it's better because I've learned how to do it better this time, honest. My response to this. Don't write the retrospective bragging about what you've learned until after you have demonstrated success in a measurable way. I've encountered th…

Honestly, it seems like you crossed paths with a personality on an extreme end of some scale.

I remember when I was a teenage hobbyist developer writing my first web apps in ASP. I learned so much, so quickly, that I also rewrote most things a few times.

I didn't try to fix that. I just naturally started learning less quickly as I grew more experienced. Now, I never threw away a whole stack like that, but then again, it's a lot easier to do that now (A lot more stacks, a lot more documentation).

This guy is in college. He's never done this work professionally. I know you're very hedged in your suggestion but IMO it's still entirely unwarranted and tainted by a bad experience you had.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#108

Post by encoderer »

paxtonab wrote: post #105
btilly wrote: post #81

Here is a td;lr. I keep on making the mistake of throwing away what I've got and starting over because I've learned how to do things better. I've just made this mistake again, but it's better because I've learned how to do it better this time, honest. My response to this. Don't write the retrospective bragging about what you've learned until after you have demonstrated success in a measurable way. I've encountered th…

I don't think the buddy who wrote the article is manic depressive... Definitely a long shot. He just seems like the stereotypical ADD teenager/college freshman who has no guidance. I feel like his experience is very similar to my early working years, especially when you are working on a project by yourself, with no one to benchmark yourself against. That being said the article comes off as way too much of a "Look at…

He didn't screw over his friends.

I'm sure he feels like he did. But he didn't. Unless he was actively lying to them along the way. Which is plausible but certainly not something I would assume about somebody.

He's in school. He's done the best he could with a hard problem. He shouldn't be hard on himself and IMO you shouldn't either.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#109

Post by encoderer »

lampe3 wrote: post #23

Jesus when i read this Article I see me... I love to start new Projects but i never finish them(only when i must because i customer is kicking my ass)... I always have a lot of motivation... but when i sit down and must read or do something i lose focus very often and maybe work on it for 30 minutes or 1 hour and then i start to watch some stupid youtube videos... To this day i dont know how to focus... I got depress…

I'm not a doctor. But I've been seeing a very talented therapist (in SF if anybody would like a referral). Working with him is like that refreshing feeling of working alongside an entirely competent teammate. It's wonderful.

Channeling him -- from things he's told me about myself -- I think he's say "What you're describing is a case, maybe a mild case, of ADD."

I've always rejected that comment when he made it, sure it was some failing of myself and my own "discipline." But you know what, there's nothing nobile about being hard on yourself and trying to enforce "discipline" through intolerance of your longtime behaviors.

Accept yourself, that a part of you wants to play and not work, accept that there's nothing inherently wrong about that. You're NOT a lazy person I'm sure. You're not a bad person. You're not doing anything bad. But if you feel your life would be better if you changed these behaviors, then try that out.

There are doctors (especially if you're lucky enough to live in a large city) that treat ADD without stimulants. But it's also possible the medication is exactly what you need. I'm a skeptic of remedies in pill form but also you can't argue with results.

For me, a big part was bad time management skills going back 20 years to grade school. So i sat down each morning and again after lunch and blocked out my next 4 hours in 30-minute increments. And I followed it. And I got a Chrome extension that began tracking time spent not working so I could acknowledge that it was happening with real hard numbers.

Over time, I got better at being productive. I started blocking time into hours. Then 2 hour blocks. I still do that on busy days. 2 hour blocks. It works well for me.

There's too many moral judgments passed about these things. You're a good person even if you manage time poorly. I promise.

Re: I’m young, inexperienced and a perfectionist

#110

Post by SolarUpNote »

edw519 wrote: post #21

56 instances of the word "I". That's your problem. All the rest is fluff. OP, try rewriting this, substituting "he", "she", "they", or "you" for "I". Funny how quickly your perceived problems melt away as soon as you stop dwelling on yourself and start focusing on others. Edit: I realize that OP is being slightly sarcastic, but I took this as an opportunity: This is a condensed version of pretty much the same feedbac…

I appreciate what you're saying. That's great advice. Sometimes it's helpful to look at yourself from the outside.
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