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I Know What You Think of Me

opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com

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Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#81

Post by Dove »

mateo411 wrote: post #78
Dove wrote: post #40

I’ve often thought that the single most devastating cyberattack [would be] simply to simultaneously make every e-mail and text ever sent universally public. . . . . the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. I don't think it would be quite that bad. There are some people who lie to everyone, but there are also some people who are decent and honest.…

In this passage the author is using satire. Of course it wouldn't be that bad, but describing literally how it would be, wouldn't be that funny.

I don't think it would be satire, exactly. He'd have to be making fun of something specific that someone else said. Hyperbole, maybe?

At any rate, that would be encouraging if it were true. I must admit, I do not have a threshold of cynicism beyond which I assume a sentiment is a joke. There seem to be arbitrarily depressing people out there.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#83

Post by srl »

siavosh wrote: post #27

When I worked at a financial firm, we were regularly reminded not to write any emails that we wouldn't mind being printed on the front page of a newspaper. It's a tough habit to keep in mind, especially for non-work emails, but it's a good litmus test and it's helped me edit some emails before pressing 'send'.

Although it's clear what you meant, as you wrote the sentence, it has a somewhat more entertaining. You meant, "that we would mind being printed...". As written, it meshes nicely with my opinion of the financial sector. (/tongue-in-cheek)

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#84

Post by lrenn »

davorak wrote: post #60
dasil003 wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I especially loved the closing paragraph about the audio staircase revealing all gossip about you in order of ascending quality. That is terrible and fascinating idea.

Once you get to the bottom you are surround by the highest praise any has ever given you. Given that what percentage of the population would get stuck at the bottom?

The last half of the steps would just be my mother.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#85

Post by eru »

michaelochurch wrote: post #4

This brings to mind why people who are socially inept tend to fall behind further in interpersonal skill, unless they make concerted efforts to improve themselves. When you start developing the ability to read people, it's painful because you realize that most people passively dislike you. It gets a little better when you realize that most of the low-level passive dislike is impersonal. Passive dislike of others (per…

> This brings to mind why people who are socially inept tend to fall behind further in interpersonal skill, unless they make concerted efforts to improve themselves. When you start developing the ability to read people, it's painful because you realize that most people passively dislike you.

Really? I never got that impression.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#86

Post by joelhooks »

I worked at a high end law firm for a couple of years and there was a paralegal that was routinely abused by her boss. She got fed up after seeing an email thread and took it to the managing partner. The managing partner was a really great guy, and his solution was to let her print all of the offending attorney relevant email threads and distribute them to the entire office. It was righteous. It surprised the attorney, as she had her emails published and she was fired on the same day.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#87

Post by danabramov »

atourgates wrote: post #30

I think the important question no-one seems to be asking is: what's up with the goats? No seriously, for what reason does a NYT contributor/essayist/cartoonist need goats on demand? Also: I'm calling it now, "Uber for Goats" is the next big startup idea.

My first thought was Aberforth.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#88

Post by lucb1e »

Just wanted to remark

> the dreadful consequence of hitting "reply all" instead of "reply" or "forward."

This is why I never write things down that I wouldn't want to end up being read by the subject. Ever. Regardless I'll always go over the To-, CC- and BCC-list three times, but negative (unconstructive) things should be said only by mediums that you can expect to be entirely private. E-mail might be read by others when the colleague would leave the company or something, the sysadmins may snoop it, or he might just be standing by when the recipient receives the message. Or the colleague might make a mistake in sending it.

Not that I talk about others that much behind their backs, or at least I hope I don't unconsciously do it too much, but still.

Edit:

> a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom.

That sounds incredibly awesome. I'd force myself to descend all the way, and I think it'd be good. Make me realize how bad some things have been and what I can improve, but also make it a rewarding experience in the end that motivates to continue doing the good things and do more good things.

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#89

Post by digitalengineer »

Udo wrote: post #26
nostromo wrote: post #13

I had a talk with a friend recently who is newly single, and it was clear to me that Facebook was making her crazy. She kept asking me questions about what people that were friends with her and her ex thought of her, or were saying behind her back, or were posting about her in a way that she couldn't see. It was an uphill battle, but I finally convinced her of the truth: nobody really talked about her or her ex that…

Just for fun, I'd like to throw in my opposite experience. A few years ago I was quite active on FB, you know, posting random thoughts and music videos and stuff like that. The stuff I posted was indeed random, just things I liked and wanted to share based on mood and ...well randomness. But unbeknownst to be, an acquaintance of mine, who was at the time engaged in a horribly soapy love triangle, got it into her head…

I have seen something like this before. Your case looks similar (it's impossible to know for sure, but I'll tell you what this looks like). She was in a self produced (shit)storm and you were chosen and used as the lightning rod. She actively engaged you in the equation without your knowledge. You were left in he dark, but she made sure all her and your friends got to know everything about you. She was "just the victim". She directed the talks (and the anger accompanying them) towards your person and got away with her own behavior. The fact that people still don't know what to believe makes me think she was quite successful. Of course this would not have worked if the target (you, a.k.a. the lightning rod) was -as you put it- "socially interesting". This strategy works especially well inside large companies. If you fucked up, you will most likely know it in advance and (if you have the power to) you select a person without a lot of good colleagues and blow up a small problem and make it huge. Get everyone to talk about his project and his mistakes and make sure your failure 'hides' behind the attention the other problem receives. In case your wondering, I've been a lightning rod as well. But I found out why in time...

Re: I Know What You Think of Me

#90

Post by david927 »

WalterBright wrote: post #57

If you want to have some fun, take a dance class, and then have someone videotape you dancing. It's usually pretty horrifying.

A variation is to try run as normally as you can. Be honest; no goofing about. Try to run as normally as anyone can. Then have someone watching you run (again, honestly) exactly as you just ran.

It's both hysterical and horrifying, because what you think of as normal is anything but. And it's true for everyone.

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