When I interviewed at $researchcenter and accidentally got CCed afterwards by $bigname in the thread evaluating me, that was kind of eye-opening. It might be worth asking people now and then for anonymous feedback as a reasonable substitute for that kind of goof. (A search brings up http://www.squidoo.com/anonymous-feedback which I haven't tried any of.)
I Know What You Think of Me
31–40 of 114 posts
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#32Earlier quoted context omitted.
I tend not to do this, which is why I find myself at age 35 with practically no grudges held and very few people who I cannot tolerate or even appreciate. It also makes it easier to recognize whether something is reconcilable in business, with employees, etc. Accidents happen, people make mistakes. I often find that unless I truly believe something was done out of malice, I have very little problem getting over it qu…
I'm also 35 and feel exactly the same way. This often gets me in trouble with my wife when she exclaims "how could x have done y!" and I proceed to stick my foot in mouth by saying "maybe they were thinking z".
Hmmmm, it sounds like she may want empathy and the ability to vent rather than any sort of solution or analysis. That's something that I've struggled with in the past but I think I'm getting better at.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#33I had a talk with a friend recently who is newly single, and it was clear to me that Facebook was making her crazy. She kept asking me questions about what people that were friends with her and her ex thought of her, or were saying behind her back, or were posting about her in a way that she couldn't see. It was an uphill battle, but I finally convinced her of the truth: nobody really talked about her or her ex that…
I'm kind of coming the other way. I don't think about what other people think of me much, but I do start to worry a bit when I notice a particular person constantly talks smack about other people to me- if you'll say that about person X, who knows what you say about me to person Y?
I wouldn't worry, except sometimes the people prone to talking a lot of smack are the sort to wildly exaggerate or fabricate.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#34I think the important question no-one seems to be asking is: what's up with the goats? No seriously, for what reason does a NYT contributor/essayist/cartoonist need goats on demand? Also: I'm calling it now, "Uber for Goats" is the next big startup idea.
I'm a programmer, not a NYT contributor, but even so my back-up plan for when I'll no longer be able to earn money from writing code is to start raising goats. It helps that my (living in the countryside) parents used to have a goat until not that long ago, and I could use their place for, well, starting the new endeavor.
Back to the article, I'm bummed that the photo of said goats wasn't presented to us.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#35I had a talk with a friend recently who is newly single, and it was clear to me that Facebook was making her crazy. She kept asking me questions about what people that were friends with her and her ex thought of her, or were saying behind her back, or were posting about her in a way that she couldn't see. It was an uphill battle, but I finally convinced her of the truth: nobody really talked about her or her ex that…
Just for fun, I'd like to throw in my opposite experience. A few years ago I was quite active on FB, you know, posting random thoughts and music videos and stuff like that. The stuff I posted was indeed random, just things I liked and wanted to share based on mood and ...well randomness. But unbeknownst to be, an acquaintance of mine, who was at the time engaged in a horribly soapy love triangle, got it into her head…
This article was on the HN front page some time ago:
http://chronicle.com/article/I-Will-Ruin-Him/136693/
It sounds like your situation is similar, though perhaps less extreme.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#36I often struggle with the most basic question of them all: Who am I? To me, how I live my life is the only way to answer that attempt at self-reflection. Yet, we are not what we do. That's the dodge that plagues me.
Each of us is two very different people - the one we know, and the one others know.
I've found that self-reflection only takes me so far because of how charitable we tend to be to ourselves. I'm trying to get to know the me that others know - the me composed of my actions and their perceived motives and outcomes. It's deeply discomforting how different that me is from the one I know.
Try this - record a few of your phone conversations (with the other persons permission) over a week and listen to them. I found that the person on the phone is pretty far from who I thought I am.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#37I think the important question no-one seems to be asking is: what's up with the goats? No seriously, for what reason does a NYT contributor/essayist/cartoonist need goats on demand? Also: I'm calling it now, "Uber for Goats" is the next big startup idea.
In Seattle, you can rent goats to help take care of pesky invasive vegetation like blackberry bushes. Blackberries sound like a good idea until they take over, and they're very difficult to remove. Goats will eat them, though, so you can rent a small herd of goats and in a few days, the brambles will be eaten back to a level where they can be dug up by the roots.
I have no idea whether this was the case in this particular situation.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#38Earlier quoted context omitted.
Just for fun, I'd like to throw in my opposite experience. A few years ago I was quite active on FB, you know, posting random thoughts and music videos and stuff like that. The stuff I posted was indeed random, just things I liked and wanted to share based on mood and ...well randomness. But unbeknownst to be, an acquaintance of mine, who was at the time engaged in a horribly soapy love triangle, got it into her head…
This article was on the HN front page some time ago: http://chronicle.com/article/I-Will-Ruin-Him/136693/ It sounds like your situation is similar, though perhaps less extreme.
Maybe, but I think this is fundamentally different. Threesome Girl did not have a real motive against me. In fact, we were still drinking buddies when I learned what she had been doing this whole time. There was no love interest, no need for revenge, nothing to gain from doing this. Yet, she did. And even more puzzling: a lot of people helped her, she always had a lot of social support. She was quite brilliant at that. Maybe - maybe getting that support and recognition was the motive, but she already kinda had that before.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#39I had a talk with a friend recently who is newly single, and it was clear to me that Facebook was making her crazy. She kept asking me questions about what people that were friends with her and her ex thought of her, or were saying behind her back, or were posting about her in a way that she couldn't see. It was an uphill battle, but I finally convinced her of the truth: nobody really talked about her or her ex that…
Just for fun, I'd like to throw in my opposite experience. A few years ago I was quite active on FB, you know, posting random thoughts and music videos and stuff like that. The stuff I posted was indeed random, just things I liked and wanted to share based on mood and ...well randomness. But unbeknownst to be, an acquaintance of mine, who was at the time engaged in a horribly soapy love triangle, got it into her head…
You should point to this comment on your facebook feed. That'd be a fun comment thread.
Re: I Know What You Think of Me
#40 I’ve often thought that the single most devastating
cyberattack [would be] simply to simultaneously make
every e-mail and text ever sent universally public.
. . . . the fabric of society would instantly evaporate,
every marriage, friendship and business partnership
dissolved.
In fact, maybe this is the optimist in me, or maybe I'm projecting, but I think most relationships would be just fine.