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Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

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Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#91

Post by space_cowboy »

strlen wrote: post #82
bokonist wrote: post #33

Woman did not evolve to find smart guys or "nice" guys attractive. Woman are programmed to find the leader of the pack attractive, even if said leader is an a hole. Fortunately, most well raised woman were taught with their rational minds to be wary of the jerk and to go for the gentleman. So rationally they want the nice guy, but the animal mind wants the leader of the pack. This creates conflict. If you've ever bee…

I expected that link to be the general "girls love jerks, so act like one" pick-up artist BS, but quite to the contrary. The tip/story about going to house parties once in a relationship is particularly relevant (and something I wish I'd have read in my younger days!). That being said, lot of the time most of the guys who complain that they can't get a girlfriend because they're "a nice guy" are generally just inexpe…

Roissy is, well, Roissy. He's unique, intelligent, and not just another cookie-cutter PUA (Although, your view of PUA seems skewed to me. Acting like a jerk is only one of a dozen styles that are taught, and is almost always recommended to be performed in a playful manner).

Roissy should come with a warning label, though. He is the dark side. A Nietzsche-an amoral creature. His front page is remarkably tame at the moment, for him.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#92

Post by potatolicious »

sown wrote: post #87
potatolicious wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Appearance I find is not a huge factor... If you excude confidence and know how to talk, you will still get laid.

The ladies are not fond of awesome UNIX beards.

They're not fond of it, but I'm saying it's something that can be overcome without resorting to shaving off your luscious chin-mane :P

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#93

Post by ahpeeyem »

adrianwaj wrote: post #89

I'll sum it up: for a nice guy, the onus is on the female to say "yes" to his advances (if any) and for the dark-triad male, the onus is on her to say "no" to his advances. As sexuality today is still very much mostly a powerful unconscious drive, it is harder for most females to say "yes" than "no," because saying yes is a conscious decision and the female instead finds it easier to remain passive to her powerful un…

I think you're definitely onto something here, and I think the guy who puts himself out there and puts the onus on the woman to say 'no' instead of waiting for her to say 'yes' is more successful for a few reasons.

1. As you say, it's easier and less risky for the woman to remain passive and not make the conscious decision to say yes to the 'nice' guy who's waiting for her.

2. There is a lot of social pressure on females to not be a 'slut'. This is becoming less than it used to be but is also subtle and ingrained into society. By remaining passive and letting the man chase, she avoids the possibility of seeming promiscuous.

3. Some of the other comments are saying this as well: the theory that women have evolved to be attracted to a leader. Leadership, strength and confidence are demonstrated by a guy who will go out of his way to pursue a woman, even despite her initial coquettishness and playing hard to get. By doing this he shows that he's a confident man who has balls and is not afraid to get what he wants - themselves apparently attractive qualities in a bloke.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#94

Post by sho »

erlanger wrote: post #44
Nwallins wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow, that took me a while to unwind. It wasn't immediately clear to me what "I can't, and don't want to, figure out the last part" referred to. You were expressing apprehension at exploring why those particular attributes confer a high success rate. i.e. Why might bad behavior be rewarded?

Exactly. I can get action, as can most single people. But if I wanted to get laid all the time, I'd lie to women, entice drunk ones, etc. Not far off from what most "pickup manuals" encourage.

Sounds like a case of "I could if I wanted to" to me.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#95

Post by sho »

nostrademons wrote: post #62
jkkramer wrote: post #24

All you really need to get laid is a willingness to eat humble pie while you climb the social learning curve. It's simple: smile, make eye contact, show interest, ask questions. You will probably feel like an idiot. Repeat until confidence outweighs fear. If you're smart, use your brain for wit, not for showing off.

My female friends also tell me: "Tell her she's beautiful!" Apparently, most girls use this as the litmus test for whether a guy is into her. If he doesn't find her attractive, or isn't willing to say so, she won't find him attractive. This even seems to apply to girls that are already sleeping with you: they'll ditch you for a guy that compliments them more at the first opportunity. I haven't had a chance to test th…

I think that only works in the case that the female is insecure, in other words only about 99.9% of the time, so be careful with this technique.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#96

Post by dejb »

This is a such well written sales copy. I followed it through to the 'book' and eventually came across one of those scamy looking very long sales pages. Check it out

http://www.thetaoofdating.com/page3.php

I'm not saying this means the article or product isn't valid or interesting but it does look like they have successful gamed HN.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#97

Post by gaius »

bokonist wrote: post #33

Woman did not evolve to find smart guys or "nice" guys attractive. Woman are programmed to find the leader of the pack attractive, even if said leader is an a hole. Fortunately, most well raised woman were taught with their rational minds to be wary of the jerk and to go for the gentleman. So rationally they want the nice guy, but the animal mind wants the leader of the pack. This creates conflict. If you've ever bee…

Woman are programmed to find the leader of the pack attractive, even if said leader is an ahole.

That's the key point - alpha characteristics/interactions trump everything else. Girls like alpha assholes despite them being assholes, not the other way 'round.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#98

Post by adrianwaj »

ahpeeyem wrote: post #93
adrianwaj wrote: post #89

I'll sum it up: for a nice guy, the onus is on the female to say "yes" to his advances (if any) and for the dark-triad male, the onus is on her to say "no" to his advances. As sexuality today is still very much mostly a powerful unconscious drive, it is harder for most females to say "yes" than "no," because saying yes is a conscious decision and the female instead finds it easier to remain passive to her powerful un…

I think you're definitely onto something here, and I think the guy who puts himself out there and puts the onus on the woman to say 'no' instead of waiting for her to say 'yes' is more successful for a few reasons. 1. As you say, it's easier and less risky for the woman to remain passive and not make the conscious decision to say yes to the 'nice' guy who's waiting for her. 2. There is a lot of social pressure on fem…

Also, the alpha and dark males probably get the bigger rejections, and that's what the nice guys are seeking to avoid. So that's another factor for the struggling males, being able to pursue but then being able to pick yourself up after a rejection.

There's another factor at work to, 'consent.' A nice guy wants the interaction to be consensual, and it should be, but in a way she doesn't because as you say there's a stigma to it, but then again if she never gives consent, she'll not only end up attracting the aholes and be quietly looking for them to satiate her 'guilty pleasures', but also on the downside she'll lock herself out of the nice guys because giving consent will be too painful, and when she does, he may be ultimately turned off.

In the end, she'll marry a somewhat inexperienced nice bloke to raise the kids after being used and abused by the aholes, and she may cheat on him if her issues are unresolved.

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#99

Post by andyking »

davidw wrote: post #80

One thing that helped me a lot: investing some money in some salsa dancing lessons. First of all, I actually enjoy it, it's fun (if you don't like it you wont' get far). Second, it's sort of cool, compared to, say, talking about startups and computers with someone who is potentially not interested in either one. Also, it's something where practice does pay off, and where you can't fake it, so investing some time will…

Totally. I did it not so long ago (still am) and it's a brilliant confidence boost; everyone's there for the same reason, so it's not like just going to some club and hoping someone there will talk to you! You've got something in common, something to have a laugh about with every person there.

Go into it with the right attitude and you will have fun. Don't fall into the trap that some men do and think "ooh, such-and-such a magazine says salsa classes will get me laid", cause on their own they won't. Girls there can spot the guys who go there with one intention from miles off and won't dance with them. Go there with the intention to have a bit of a giggle, meet a few new people, make a bit of a tit of yourself on occasion (something we ALL need!) and learn some sexy moves while you're at it and the world is your oyster.

(Sorry for the disjointed response, I'm rushing out of the door! Will probably come back and write more later.)

Re: Why Being Smart Won't Get You Laid

#100

Post by davidw »

andyking wrote: post #99
davidw wrote: post #80

One thing that helped me a lot: investing some money in some salsa dancing lessons. First of all, I actually enjoy it, it's fun (if you don't like it you wont' get far). Second, it's sort of cool, compared to, say, talking about startups and computers with someone who is potentially not interested in either one. Also, it's something where practice does pay off, and where you can't fake it, so investing some time will…

Totally. I did it not so long ago (still am) and it's a brilliant confidence boost; everyone's there for the same reason, so it's not like just going to some club and hoping someone there will talk to you! You've got something in common, something to have a laugh about with every person there. Go into it with the right attitude and you will have fun. Don't fall into the trap that some men do and think "ooh, such-and-…

Exactly - I should clarify the "helped me a lot" in my previous post was more in terms of meeting lots of people and having fun than going home every night with some girl (although the owner of our favorite place once impressed us by showing up, spotting some girl, dancing a few songs and then heading out the door together). It eventually worked out pretty well because the woman I ended up marrying liked going dancing a lot when we first met:-)
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