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Obsession

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Re: Obsession

#81

Post by throwaway1979 »

As someone who can count the number of B's I've gotten in one hand (K-PhD), I have to relate a saying: "grades don't matter ... it's just how we keep score". In the original version of the saying, money comes in the place of grades :-p

But seriously speaking ... at some point, you will stop caring about grades. I stopped grading after I starting grading undergrads as a lecturer. Heh .. I stopped caring about my age after 31. As a former child prodigy, I sometimes do feel I've wasted opportunities and my potential. But then I remember that the battle isn't over yet ... I may yet do something I feel is consequential. It is no longer an achievement in science. Rather, I hope I can create a company that gives a livelihood to many people, treats them well, and does right by the world. Given that I don't even zero entrepreneurial experience at this point in my life, this dream might just wither away. But c'est la vie.

Re: Obsession

#82

Post by simonsarris »

gosu wrote: post #49
simonsarris wrote: post #28

I have some similar issues, though I still breezed through college (prestigious school in 3.5 years, deans list, didn't "study"). I probably related that story here (and definitely did on reddit in one of those kids-called-gifted-where-are-you-now thread), so I'll spare us that story again. But where this really hit me was just two years after college, trying to write a large technical book (on HTML). I'm just now co…

While you give good advice, I'm going to call you out on the humblebrag here. I imagine that OP might feel kind of bad to hear about the troubles of a deans list student who had trouble becoming a published technical author.

I think you're right here, sorry about that.

The point I should have made instead of comparing it to myself is that I don't think its collegiate difficulty per se that is problematic for a lot of people. Instead I think the problem is large (seemingly too large) tasks, and people like the OP and myself never learned how to deal with them until far too late.

Had I gone to a college that assigned larger homework I don't think I would have done nearly as well, so my chance to attempt a non-trivial sized project until I was out of school.

Re: Obsession

#83

Post by SecretofMana »

neilk wrote: post #36

> I spend the day bedridden and panic-stricken by my own insecurities. To the author of the piece: you are depressed. You are shutting down all reasons to like yourself or even to have fun. I strongly advise counseling, immediately . Even though you're in the middle of exams, this is very important. Your school will have free or inexpensive resources available. I know you wrote your piece as a cautionary tale, but th…

Thank you for your advice.

The acknowledging and showing imperfection part is very difficult for me, not for my family, who have been very supportive and understanding along the way.

Re: Obsession

#84

Post by throwaway78954 »

I wonder if I wrote this post. I didn't but it sounds eerily similar to my condition right now.

I was admitted into one of the most reputed universities in my country. I've failed, year after year 2 times in my junior year & on track for a 3rd year of failure this time.

I was a bright student in school - the top 10 in my grade. But that's where the problem stems from. I thought I was a genius to excel high school without studying whereas everyone around me was pretty mediocre. After all they studied so hard and didn't do as good as I did.

In university everyone told me how brilliant I was and that my marks didn't reflect my potential. Now they're all working, getting promotions, traveling, enjoying their lives and I am no better than I was 3 years ago living with my parents and hardly contributing anything to this world.

PS: Throwaway for obvious reasons.

Re: Obsession

#85

Post by buremba »

I have focusing problem and I figured out that working multiple projects at the same time is better for me than focusing only a project. Although, it's hard to finish one of them completely, it's good to know there's a different project I can work when am bored one of them. Just find an area that you like, you don't have to be good every class you take. It's enough be good at one area to be successful.

Re: Obsession

#87

Post by bluepanda_ »

simonsarris wrote: post #28

I have some similar issues, though I still breezed through college (prestigious school in 3.5 years, deans list, didn't "study"). I probably related that story here (and definitely did on reddit in one of those kids-called-gifted-where-are-you-now thread), so I'll spare us that story again. But where this really hit me was just two years after college, trying to write a large technical book (on HTML). I'm just now co…

I love these poems, they're such a great motivational reading.

Re: Obsession

#89

Post by Iuz »

I had almost all of those issues except when I, filled with hate and competitiveness, decided to drop everything off and focus it paid off.

Maybe even with the good result I should know I'm making a mistake.

Re: Obsession

#90

Post by zoba »

Your story is exactly my story - surprisingly so. I'm out of college now and have better focus, but it is still getting better (I plan out my day in on paper with a 15 minute granularity and don't allow myself to deviate from that plan - exceptions occur.)

The advice I'd have given myself is: ok, so now you've realized it. You didn't /really/ know before, so don't fault yourself. The only logical thing you can do now is work towards fixing the problem. When I get upset about things like this, I just repeat this mantra until I realize the truth of it: It is what it is, not what it should be, not what it could be, it is what it is.

My email is in my profile URL if you want to chat more.

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