I Knew a Programmer Who Went Completely Insane

The article indicated nothing specific that the company had done wrong. It even admitted that the guy was "well treated and well paid" for his hard work - he just didn't like how he was "respected".

It's astonishing me that getting paid and treated well to work hard triggers a comment that the "system is sick".

I used to do cubicle work at a couple of tech companies and fucking hated it. I simply cannot stomach office politics, and I can't tolerate others that do the whole ladder climbing, brown nosing thing around me. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my line manager took credit for my work right in front of me without even batting an eyelid. I observed this type of sociopathic behaviour many times from many people. I literally couldn't believe how many fuck heads there are out there.

Here are some benefits that I'm enjoying as a teacher at the moment:

1. Great salary. 90k/year in Australia. I've heard that in other parts of the world it can be a low paying job.

2. Great working hours. 8:30am - 4pm. 30 mins recess, 50 mins lunch. 7 "free" (non teaching) lessons per week (this is equivalent to one day per week) There are lots of teachers that like to play the "poor me" card and tell you how they spend every night till midnight grading work. They're either liars, or are terrible at time management. I consider myself a perfectly OK teacher, and I never go past 4pm and very rarely do school work on a weekend.

3. 14 weeks of paid vacation - I just spent the last 2 weeks doing a garden renovation and got paid to do it.

4. No boss. Technically the principal is my boss, but in 3 years I have barely said more than hello to him and, I sometimes go months without seeing him. No line manager either. What I do in my class is my business. I choose the manner in which I deliver content as well as the interesting tangents that we explore.

5. No office politics bullshit. Schools have a very flat org structure. If you're not looking at advancing to the admin side of things (deputy/principal) then there is effectively no career path (I consider this a good thing).

6. Heaps of time for side projects.

7. Varied work. No two kids are the same, no two semester are ever the same. There are always interesting things happening. Sports days, senior formal, camp etc. I recently spend a week visiting work experience kids and got to visit an army base and defence research facility.

8. Over the years it's inevitable that you will make a difference in some kid's life. Whether it's helping them through a tough emotional period or helping them make informed life and career goals.

There is no way in a million years I could go back to the regular working world. I simply could not give away the complete autonomy and excellent vacation time.

In Australia there is a post-grad degree that you can do which will give you a full teacher qualification in just 18 months. Worth seeing if your district offers similar programs.

Caveat:

1. The school you're at matters. I am at a middle class private school with great kids. I've worked at very tough schools and life sucked, however, some thrive in these conditions.

2. The subject(s) you teach matter. Language rich will entail far more reading and giving written feedback which obviously impacts on hours worked. If you stick to Maths and IT grading is far easier.

There are great books by David Burns: "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" and "When Panic Attacks". Both are available at amazon kindle: http://amzn.com/0380810336 and http://amzn.com/076792083X The "Feeling Good" book is focused primarily on depression issues and "When Panic Attacs" (as its name suggest) on various anxiety disorder. I suggest to read them both. They are really helpful, but not just because of their content(which is good), but because they present of number techniques from Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, which you can apply on yourself. But please note that reading the book and using these methodics is order of magnitude more effective than just reading the book and internalizing its contents.

Also, can you please elaborate on your issue with finding a therapist? Can you just go to a therapy session? Or you can't because you have to overcome strong anxiety first? If you are able to come and see a therapist(being able to manage your anxiety if you have any), then find a good CBT therapist and do come see her of him. Therapists are trained to deal with people who have all sorts of issues, even such serious as yours.

Is that a real project you worked on?

If so, and if it happened a couple years ago in Colorado -- I was one of your coworkers.

And I left just a couple weeks after the rest of you guys.

That was some crazy shit but in the end we did ship. And on time, even.

But I can't even pass that freeway exit any more without feeling a sense of dread.