Stop externalising your life • Hacker News Board

Re: Stop externalising your life

#141

Post by papaver » Thu, Apr 04, 2013, 11:32 PM UTC

reminds me of the buddhist quote:

"If while we are washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as they were a nuisance, then we are not 'washing the dishes to wash to wash the dishes.' What's more we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes....If we can't washes the dishes, chances are we won't be able to drink our tea either."

i remember going to a gdc after party where they had a burlesque show for entertainment. 75% of the crowd had their phones out recording the event while watching the dancers through their phones. so sad.

there is little more fulfilling than enjoying the present moment. its fun looking into the past and sharing but it comes nowhere near living in the now. weather that is during the act of eating or washing the dishes...

Re: Stop externalising your life

#142

Post by icebraining » Thu, Apr 04, 2013, 11:35 PM UTC

jshakes wrote: post #17

papa_bear wrote: post #3

It's possible you're just thinking too much about it. A lot of people look back on the things they've shared as a way of maintaining a personal photo album. My facebook definitely has a more complete photo history than any one device I own, and it's almost effortless to throw the photos I take up there. That, and I don't mind seeing the things my friends are doing - it gives me ideas for things I want to do in the fu…

OP here. I definitely agree with you about social media being a good way of maintaining a record of what you've done. I often used to scroll down and down my FB wall for hours looking back at all the pictures and memories from my time at university. I probably should have played this up more in the post, but my motivation for writing this came from having been on holiday and feeling a huge relief after I decided to s…

I just think that people miss out on a lot when they concern themselves more with posting about their experiences than they do with enjoying them.

Maybe they don't. Maybe unlike you and I (and others), most or at least many people are perfectly able to fully enjoy the experience while sharing it.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#143

Post by PavlovsCat » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 12:32 AM UTC

jff wrote: post #134

contingencies wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also stopped, about 6 months ago. Since then I have begun writing poetry again, been photographing a lot, sold my first photographs (a few, to different buyers, after many years of photography), travelled, and generally had a good time. Sure, I miss finding out about some weird events, but generally speaking it means I communicate directly with a subset of friends I care about rather than all-and-sundry. I was goin…

Yep, you're a very special snowflake, you've always known you were different, and those sheep are just so ignorant . If they find value in telling each other about their life experiences but you don't, that's fine. Maybe they enjoy seeing the cool things their friends do, maybe those posts give them great ideas for vacations or what to make for dinner or what kind of dog they want to get. You can leave the "yeah, wha…

On the other hand, if they find value in telling each other superficial stories about their life experiences, on a purely private platform to boot that spies on their every move, that's kinda fucked up.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#144

Post by DanielBMarkham » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 12:45 AM UTC

"It’s not sharing, it’s bragging..."

Turns out social media is freaking way tricky. If you share bad things, well, people don't want to hear it. If you share happy news, well, people think your life is perfect. So its damned if you do, damned if you don't.

My concern is that instead of young adults being the imperfect people that they are -- forming cliques, being sexist or ageist, and so on -- we're teaching kids how to "fake" having the right attitudes. So yeah, you can be as misogynistic as you want, just don't let it show up on social media.

So the real harm social media does is to ourselves: it teaches us fake friendships,fake conversations, and fake storytelling. This will have lifelong negative consequences for many.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#145

Post by Aga » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 1:38 AM UTC

calinet6 wrote: post #51

The funny thing is, most people I know completely agree with this viewpoint. "Yep, it's tearing the fabric of society apart alright. It's creating a generation of self-interested media whores." But wait, aren't you one of them? Didn't you just post a picture of those tacos you made last night? "Yeah man, they were freaking awesome tacos. " Yes, it's a little narcissistic. Yeah, it's disruptive to your actual in-the-m…

I feel the problem is not the Internet becoming crappier, it's more that our "real" experiences are becoming crappier as instead of living them, (too) many are completely indulged in documenting them.

An example is at a concert or club where more people are holding devices then dancing.

I've started carefully choosing where to take my camera with, as I'll be completely absorbed in taking photographs, later not having "real" memories of the event at all.

A classical xkcd sums up my feelings about this quite nicely: http://xkcd.com/77/

Re: Stop externalising your life

#146

Post by lightup88 » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 1:39 AM UTC

contingencies wrote: post #120

bollockitis wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's an excellent point, and very eloquently written. The article does mention one other phenomenon though, and it's the selective nature of what we share. It has been discussed in the media that Facebook can make some people angry, envious, and depressed ( http://ti.me/V9kKkd ). By selectively broadcasting our successes to the world, whether it's a promotion at work or awesome tacos, we contribute to a tapestry of…

I also stopped, about 6 months ago. Since then I have begun writing poetry again, been photographing a lot, sold my first photographs (a few, to different buyers, after many years of photography), travelled, and generally had a good time. Sure, I miss finding out about some weird events, but generally speaking it means I communicate directly with a subset of friends I care about rather than all-and-sundry. I was goin…

I'm really surprised to hear you say that you have ramped up on photography since scaling down on 'externalising.' For myself, hopping on to FB/Flickr is an incredible motivator to take more shots and the only effective (read: feasible) way I know of to test how people react to my work. Either way, good on you!

Re: Stop externalising your life

#147

Post by contingencies » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 2:47 AM UTC

lightup88 wrote: post #146

contingencies wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also stopped, about 6 months ago. Since then I have begun writing poetry again, been photographing a lot, sold my first photographs (a few, to different buyers, after many years of photography), travelled, and generally had a good time. Sure, I miss finding out about some weird events, but generally speaking it means I communicate directly with a subset of friends I care about rather than all-and-sundry. I was goin…

I'm really surprised to hear you say that you have ramped up on photography since scaling down on 'externalising.' For myself, hopping on to FB/Flickr is an incredible motivator to take more shots and the only effective (read: feasible) way I know of to test how people react to my work. Either way, good on you!

Cheers. I do upload some images, but generally I collect them for reference (mostly I shoot documentary style subjects). I've found printing / mounting shots and taking them out to see friends a worthwhile way to share that is a good alternative to internet venues. I've noticed that people appreciate and communicate around physical imagery in a different way to digital. Meeting people like this I've given some away, sold others. If someone appreciates an image and you can give them some happiness, then it can be a lot more rewarding than an incremented hit-counter somewhere in the googleplex/FB/flickr.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#148

Post by jasonngpt » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 3:47 AM UTC

shadowrunner wrote: post #91

My point requires a back story, but I think its worth it: A few years ago several teenagers loitered everyday outside my apartment window. Sometimes they skateboarded, other times jumped off a wooden ramp with their bikes, but always did they curse and swear. Especially one kid, who was the ringleader. Every second word was the f-shot. An angry kid. So one summer evening, as I was trying to get work done but hearing…

This is really amazing. Thanks for this.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#149

Post by andrewfelix » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 4:28 AM UTC

This really spoke to me. Perfectly articulated why I am not on Facebook.

"This is the curse of our age. We walk around with the tools to capture extensive data about our surroundings"

Less and less people are actually enjoying and engaging good moments in life and instead trying to construct a frame around said moment that will look good on FB/Twitter.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#150

Post by acjohnson55 » Fri, Apr 05, 2013, 4:37 AM UTC

I like Facebook. Not the company, but the service they created. I get to be myself with my friends, but just remotely. I can name about 20 people who were just acquaintances in "real life" but became good buddies via Facebook. A lot of them are people with whom I have heated online arguments over politics, religion, and economics. But we respect each other for it.

There are definitely people who don't fit into my Facebook paradigm. Those people have their posts demoted. After a small amount of effort configuring my feed, I now get content I mostly actually enjoy from people I mostly actually want to hear from. It's quite nice!