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Stop externalising your life

jshakespeare.com

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Re: Stop externalising your life

#121

Post by jbelanich »

bobwaycott wrote: post #108
unethical_ban wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, the author was making a point about the way people interact with their omnipresent tweetdeck/camera device. He was painting a picture for the sake of making a point, not for the sake of "hey, I'm in Singapore".

> He was painting a picture ... Exactly. Stop there. The irony is that he did exactly what he was complaining about , but in words, not pictures. He apparently missed the part where that is externalizing his life. I'm more careful than you to eschew attributing intentionality, but the effect is the same--he externalized his life via a blog post that decried externalizing one's life. It's all about words. If he'd been…

Ironically, "painting a picture" is exactly what the author said you should do:

"Write about it in more than 140 characters; on paper even. Paint a picture of it. Talk about it face to face with your friends. Talk about how it made you feel"

It doesn't seem the author is complaining about all externalization, just the externalization that takes place during experiences, like posting pictures of yourself eating a meal while eating said meal. I just don't see the irony you mention, as he is doing exactly what he said people should be doing.

As for the rest of your comment...I'm inclined to agree that the author's post is an overgeneralized complaint, perhaps even with fundamental logical flaws. However, hidden in the haphazard argument there seems to be a tinge of truth regarding over-sharers.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#122

Post by kevinrpope »

unethical_ban wrote: post #96
ohwp wrote: post #10

Waiting for the pope: http://i.imgur.com/sNTmp4s.jpg In my opinion you miss a lot around you when you are constantly staring at the screen of your device. Two days ago I was sitting at a birthday party. The guy next to me constantly took pictures sending them with Watsapp. I never spoke a word to him because he was busy with his phone all the time. I'm still not sure what to think about that but I don't think I like…

I am likely preaching to the choir here, but the following is true. If you don't like this 'externalization' discussed by the author, try this: Keep your phone off of your body more often. Going to get a haircut, or go to the mall for an hour? Leave the phone in the car. It is really freeing; you do not realize the subtle impact of that phone/pager/digital watch constantly on the verge of maybe someone messaging you.…

I've started doing this and I can't agree more. It's extremely freeing when you realize that you don't need to be at the beck and call of your phone and email all the time. It also makes those times when your phone runs out of juice much easier to handle.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#123

Post by hoytie »

I find that for a lot of people documentation has replaced experience. I watched a performance a week or two ago, and a guy in front of me took photos and videos for 20 minutes straight then abruptly got distracted and walked away. It struck me as precisely the symptom of working to externalize your life so much that you forget to actually experience it.

Thinking in terms of narcissism, distraction, oversharing, externalization, etc, I've realized how scary and absurd the Google Glass marketing is. It's been marketed as something that will let us come back to reality and genuine interpersonal relationships, when it's only going to indulge our tendency towards sharing and distraction even more. I think that in order to market Google Glass effectively they had to make the absurd claim that even easier access to the internet will cure our anxious attachment to it.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#124

Post by cma »

zeteo wrote: post #102

Many people have heard the phrase "conspicuous consumption", but it's only half of Veblen's analysis. It counterpart, "conspicuous leisure", is arguably at least as important. Typical social proof that you're doing well is not just buying a BMW, but also showing that you didn't have to work hard for it. This is communicated most effectively by advertising the time you can afford to spend on non-economic activities: t…

Yep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_leisure

"such as taking long vacations to exotic places and bringing souvenirs back."

Souvenirs wouldn't be worth nearly as much if you were forced to keep them to yourself.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#126

Post by sherril8 »

archon wrote: post #80
tedks wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can think of several reasons: 1. It would be insulting to do that. 2. Most people understand that as long as the flow of conversation is maintained, it doesn't really matter what else you're doing. People have conversations while doing other things all the time. 3. Doing something else while conversing with someone doesn't actually mean you're less interesting than that something else. It means that temporarily, th…

> 1. It would be insulting to do that. It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us. If I'm trying to talk with you about something (as opposed to talking to you), I'm going to be insulted if you're checking your phone and otherwise broadcasting through body language and your inattention that "what you're saying to me right now is unimportant, and I would rather be doing other th…

People hold conversations while doing other tasks all the time. It's perfectly normal to have conversations while driving, doing dishes, eating, reading the newspaper, watching tv, etc. It's not impossible to be interested in a conversation and doing something else.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#127

Post by bobwaycott »

jbelanich wrote: post #121
bobwaycott wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> He was painting a picture ... Exactly. Stop there. The irony is that he did exactly what he was complaining about , but in words, not pictures. He apparently missed the part where that is externalizing his life. I'm more careful than you to eschew attributing intentionality, but the effect is the same--he externalized his life via a blog post that decried externalizing one's life. It's all about words. If he'd been…

Ironically, "painting a picture" is exactly what the author said you should do: "Write about it in more than 140 characters; on paper even. Paint a picture of it. Talk about it face to face with your friends. Talk about how it made you feel" It doesn't seem the author is complaining about all externalization, just the externalization that takes place during experiences, like posting pictures of yourself eating a meal…

> It doesn't seem the author is complaining about all externalization, just the externalization...

... he personally does not like.

That's where the irony lies. He is saying "don't externalize in this [personally valued as annoying] way; do it like this [personally valued as less annoying] way."

He's suggesting people stop externalizing by way of another mode of externalizing. It's still externalizing. The implied meaning of his article is not congruent with the literal meaning of his suggestion for improvement.

[edit: clarity]

Re: Stop externalising your life

#128

Post by ardit33 »

Sharing is caring (to a certain degree), if your sharing is not just pure bragging, the I can see only positives on it. E.g. somebody sharing on how good the food is in a new restaurant is genuinely happy about the experience and wants his friends to check out this restaurant too, as they might like it as well. This is good motivation and basic human nature . Vs somebody that goes in a very expensive restaurant (that everybody knows about) and shares just to brag about it/ show their social status (this might just elicit envy from their friends, another basic human emotion). Delivery style and context are very important in this case.

On the other hand I have friends/ acquaintences that don't share at all and just keep it to themselves. To me this is selfish and just as bad as over sharing. A good friend will share both good and bad news. People that share over selectively, or dont share at all are on the selfish side.

Re: Stop externalising your life

#129

Post by [deleted] »

lotharbot wrote: post #107
archon wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 1. It would be insulting to do that. It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us. If I'm trying to talk with you about something (as opposed to talking to you), I'm going to be insulted if you're checking your phone and otherwise broadcasting through body language and your inattention that "what you're saying to me right now is unimportant, and I would rather be doing other th…

>> "It's also insulting to not give a conversation your full attention, for some of us." There are certain mental conditions (including variants of ADHD) wherein it's actually easier for someone to focus if they're doing two things than if they're doing one thing. It's insulting to those of us with those conditions to be told to stop because you misunderstand us.

[deleted]

Re: Stop externalising your life

#130

Post by kennethcwilbur »

contingencies wrote: post #120
bollockitis wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's an excellent point, and very eloquently written. The article does mention one other phenomenon though, and it's the selective nature of what we share. It has been discussed in the media that Facebook can make some people angry, envious, and depressed ( http://ti.me/V9kKkd ). By selectively broadcasting our successes to the world, whether it's a promotion at work or awesome tacos, we contribute to a tapestry of…

I also stopped, about 6 months ago. Since then I have begun writing poetry again, been photographing a lot, sold my first photographs (a few, to different buyers, after many years of photography), travelled, and generally had a good time. Sure, I miss finding out about some weird events, but generally speaking it means I communicate directly with a subset of friends I care about rather than all-and-sundry. I was goin…

I noticed that when my real life was more exciting, I used facebook less frequently because I had less time and less need for social validation. When my real life was less exciting, I was on facebook more often. And I noticed that the most active people on facebook were not the same people that I loved and respected most offline.

So I quit. I have been happier without it.

I call, text and email my friends more often. I meditate far more often. I keep a diary. Friends know that I quit and tell me when something is posted that I should know about.

Last night I went to an Eric Clapton concert. My friend repeatedly used her camera, zoomed in and out, took lots of pictures, even curated her photos during the show itself. For much of the evening, it felt like I was there by myself. So I did what any reasonable person would have done: I gave myself over to the music and danced.

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