I cant reach it . Does anyone have a mirror link ?
Stop externalising your life
41–50 of 160 posts
Re: Stop externalising your life
#42Earlier quoted context omitted.
"witholding" means the opposite of what you think it does, it means "preventing" or "holding back" in this context :) Also I suspect a lot of people, certainly myself, would find this behaviour quite unsociable, and hard to bear during every conversation. The reason I think, is because it is so easy for someone doing this to slip into focussing on social media, or some news article, privately. It's also hard to tell…
Edited, thank you. It was just a lapsus. Awkwardly placed one, though. :) Come to think of it, this kind of behaviour may even act as a solid social filter. After all, if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation, notwithstanding my relationship with gadgets around, I'm not sure I want to continue conversing with you in particular. Someone might call me on basic etiquette, but those…
> "...if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation..."
All the normal methods of figuring out that someone is actively engaged are broken when you introduce devices. Eye contact, physical gestures, mini-facial expressions etc don't work anymore. How is one to tell that you're involved? Random interruptions?
It's perfectly ok for someone to 'drop out' of the flow momentarily to check their little screen but they shouldn't pretend that they're still involved in the actual conversation.
Re: Stop externalising your life
#43Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are you sure these slide evenings were as entertaining and impressive as your remember? I've never heard anything positive about them until your comment, up until now they've always been the subject of boredom jokes.
Spot on. I may have expressed myself unclearly - I am indeed referencing that trope of boring slide evenings, and likening them to the photos which flood our social newsfeeds, showing e.g. Asian Fusion cuisine, rock climbing, and pouting in nightclubs. The point I'm making is that the boredom joke about the slide evenings was social etiquette and care for other people's feelings preventing intelligent, well-mannered…
The big advantage of Facebook or Twitter over slide evenings is that it’s much easier to skip a FB update you don’t care about (or even skip all updates from someone) than it was to duck out of a slide evening.
Even better, you may have friends who are not overly selective about what they share, but still share something worthwhile every now and then. With social media, it’s fairly painless to pick our the worthwhile pieces. In a slide evening, I’d have been bored to death.
Re: Stop externalising your life
#44I cant reach it . Does anyone have a mirror link ?
Re: Stop externalising your life
#45Waiting for the pope: http://i.imgur.com/sNTmp4s.jpg In my opinion you miss a lot around you when you are constantly staring at the screen of your device. Two days ago I was sitting at a birthday party. The guy next to me constantly took pictures sending them with Watsapp. I never spoke a word to him because he was busy with his phone all the time. I'm still not sure what to think about that but I don't think I like…
The linked image is comparing the announcement of Bergoglio's election to Wojtyła's funeral procession: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/innovations/post/aaf1067...
Re: Stop externalising your life
#46Waiting for the pope: http://i.imgur.com/sNTmp4s.jpg In my opinion you miss a lot around you when you are constantly staring at the screen of your device. Two days ago I was sitting at a birthday party. The guy next to me constantly took pictures sending them with Watsapp. I never spoke a word to him because he was busy with his phone all the time. I'm still not sure what to think about that but I don't think I like…
Wow that waiting for the pope image is incredible, and frightening.
Why frightening? People want to record memories of things that are important to them. Seeing the pope is important to a lot of people.
Would you say the same about all the people at a Pop concert? People derive emotional value from their pictures and videos. Little computers-in-your-pocket just happen to make it easier.
Aside: We don't really know how many of those people in the pope-pic are sharing vs just recording for posterity -- the OP is primarily talking about the former
EDIT: Turns out the pics aren't really comparable. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5492146
Re: Stop externalising your life
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
This, this, a million times this. I recall a professor very fond the phrase "you may wish to examine your motives". I have found that fantastic advice and hear it most of the time before I click "post", "reply", "submit", etc. Even here, now. I'm about to post this comment. Do I want karma? Do I need an outlet for the thought? Why am I posting this? Have I achieved everything I wanted by just writing it and actually…
Yeah, it's a path inwards, which is powerful but I suppose you gotta be careful about – in case "you may wish to examine your motives" is just more ego, mind-games..
Indeed. Any ideas how to solve this one?
The closest I've come is acknowledging there may be a sweet spot somewhere between introspection, expression, and just following good activity habits without thinking or talking too hard about them.
My hunch is that when you've got something solidly in place that "works" (well balanced exercise, diet, career, relationships, family, finances, security, play, hobbies, routine, sleep, etc.) then excessive self-inquiry and validation-seeking don't seem so important any more.
Re: Stop externalising your life
#48[deleted]
Re: Stop externalising your life
#49Most "normal" conversations could be cast in this narcissistic light, if you wanted to. People tell each other about the interesting things that happen to them, and not about the mundane, sad, or private things. An awful lot of conversation is about establishing common ground and consists of "Have you seen that film?" "Yeah, I saw it. I liked it, the actor, he was in another film, did you see that?". Back and forth e…
[deleted]
Re: Stop externalising your life
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
Edited, thank you. It was just a lapsus. Awkwardly placed one, though. :) Come to think of it, this kind of behaviour may even act as a solid social filter. After all, if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation, notwithstanding my relationship with gadgets around, I'm not sure I want to continue conversing with you in particular. Someone might call me on basic etiquette, but those…
> "...if you cannot comprehend that I'm actually being an active part of conversation..." All the normal methods of figuring out that someone is actively engaged are broken when you introduce devices. Eye contact, physical gestures, mini-facial expressions etc don't work anymore. How is one to tell that you're involved? Random interruptions? It's perfectly ok for someone to 'drop out' of the flow momentarily to check…
Um, how about content as a normal method?