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The Case for Getting Married Young

theatlantic.com

1–10 of 61 posts

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#2
as someone who got married at 21, I can honestly say it's the decision I'm most happy about in my life so far.

However, we had been together for over 7 years by that point and I'd be very wary of advocating getting married young to everyone, as I know at least here in the UK there seem to be quite a few teenage/early-twenties couples who decide to get married after a few months to a year, and end up divorced 6 months later. The facts in this article could be also taken as very misleading, especially considering that the happiness survey they took made no mention of age.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#3
It's a hell of an argument and it matches my own personal experience of getting married at 23 when I we had nothing and built two successful careers before moving on to parenthood (our daughter is two).

No stats or anything, though. I'd like to see some well structured research on this, as marriage itself is a fascinating part of our human culture.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#4
In my family's culture (Russian Protestant), getting married early is not only common, but expected. My wife and I got married when I was 24, which was almost shocking in a community where the average was around 20. I've had many awkward conversation (of the "I will pray for you" type) with my grandmother, who sincerely believed I was making a huge mistake by choosing school instead of marriage.

Personally, I feel like I got married at the perfect time in my life (I was done with school, had a great job lined up, etc), and have never regretted that decision. My wife helped me re-focus on the important things, and inspired me to pursue my dream of starting a company.

However, the majority of my Russian friends who were married in their very early 20s have seemingly stagnated in their professional (and even personal) pursuits. Most were married either before or during college, and have either dropped out or are pursuing their education on a very limited part-time basis.

My experience is completely anecdotal, but it seems like getting married early (18-21) has significant drawbacks. Perhaps the sweet spot is somewhere between there and the current late-20s average.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#5
Causality dilemma? People who get married young are different from those getting married later. The age at which people get married is more a reflection of a life style, than what drives a particular life style; which is what this article suggests.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#6
I think this is kind of a false issue. I got married later, but it was just because it didn't happen until then - I'd guess that that is usually the reason, rather than meeting what feels like a soulmate at age 22 and dumping her because you'd rather get married at 32.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#7
You don't have to be married to be in a committed relationship. A large percent of couples (> 30%) in Scandinavian countries for example never enter into a marriage, or people might marry 5, 6, 7, 8 years after they're first together. In that sense the marriage is a capstone, but there is no difference between that couple and a couple that got married right away and have been together for 8 years.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#8

as someone who got married at 21, I can honestly say it's the decision I'm most happy about in my life so far. However, we had been together for over 7 years by that point and I'd be very wary of advocating getting married young to everyone, as I know at least here in the UK there seem to be quite a few teenage/early-twenties couples who decide to get married after a few months to a year, and end up divorced 6 months…

> However, we had been together for over 7 years by that point

Just for curiosity... did you start your relationship with 14 y/o? I guess playing video games was all I cared when I was this age :D

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#9
I'm yet another example of a successful early marriage (I was 22 and she was 19). She finished her undergrad and masters degrees after we married and we also started "with nothing but each other". After 30 years, I still can't imagine being with anyone else ... it makes life so much better if you have someone to share your happiness with - and if there are two of you to tackle life's problems together.

Re: The Case for Getting Married Young

#10
post #5

Causality dilemma? People who get married young are different from those getting married later. The age at which people get married is more a reflection of a life style, than what drives a particular life style; which is what this article suggests.

Here's libertarian economist Bryan Caplan on the difficulty in disputing the causal relationship between marriage and success.

http://econlog.econlib.org/archives/2013/03/22_short_argume....

He doesn't talk about the timing per se, but I think a lot of the same arguments apply. Certainty, if you believe that marriage causes success, it's not that great a leap to think that earlier marriage causes more success earlier (with the obvious caveats about getting married when you're 12.)

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