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Diamonds Are Bullshit

blog.priceonomics.com

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Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#751

Post by evilmushroom »

ensignavenger wrote: post #633
enraged_camel wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It doesn't have anything to do with financial security. Look, if your man is spending three months worth of salary on a piece of shiny rock, he is exercising poor financial judgment and that is a signal against future financial security. Women want diamonds not because of any symbolic reasons ("Diamonds are forever!") but because of reasons that are much more practical: they want to be able to show off the diamonds t…

I am very glad that my wife was reasonable and agreed that I need not get her a diamond. She still wanted a ring, so I designed and made a claddagh style ring for her, with a blue topaz set in silver. It cost me less than $50, plus many hours researching, designing, and carving the wax mold. (I have a friend who is a jeweler, and he was able to provide expert assistance and tools to get the job done :) Now, rather th…

My girlfriend said the same thing. I did however get her a diamond (she doesn't know about it yet)... but it cost me 1/20th the price as I have a friend in that industry. I would not have paid retail for a diamond as I know how much of a rip off it is.

The rest of the ring I'm including fragments from a martian meteorite, a lunar meteorite, and a deep space iron meteorite...... and then other gems from every continent. :)

That is AWESOME that you made your ring. I'm having this one made... as I just... seriously lack the artistic skill to create what I want. :)

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#752

Post by desas »

kamaal wrote: post #475
Goronmon wrote: post #408

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it shocking that there are people that think that a woman wanting financial security makes that woman a 'gold-digger'.

>>I find it shocking that there are people that think that a woman wanting financial security makes that woman a 'gold-digger'. Is it? And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman? And I always thought women wanted equal rights. Its seems they only want a life long vacation at some body else's expense.

> And why exactly is it the man's responsibility to provide financial security for the woman?

I'm sure for most women it's not that it is the man's responsibility to provide financial security, but that the man is going to work with you to be financially secure rather than against.

If you've spent your twenties working hard and saving, you probably don't want to marry someone who's spent their twenties running up a credit card bill. You very likely will spend your life together arguing.

Not that a diamond ring is necessarily the best way to demonstrate financial responsibility.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#753

Post by GFischer »

namenotrequired wrote: post #515

This brought an interesting discussion with my girlfriend - turns out where she is from (Brazil) they don't do diamonds in wedding rings. One less thing to stress about in the future!

I live in Uruguay, and wedding rings here (and in Argentina, and I guess Brazil too) are usually gold or gold-plated, without diamonds.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#754

Post by GFischer »

gliese1337 wrote: post #47
stephengillie wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

(I didn't realize someone would reply. Here's my deleted post:) Are young couples foregoing the rest of the expensive ceremony along with avoiding the ring? Could the price of wedding and engagement rings be one cause of the declining marital rate in the US? What happened to the price of engagement rings over the past 10 years? How well does it mirror the prices of houses in the US?

I don't know about your last three questions, but my wife and I did forgo the expense. Our entire wedding and honeymoon, including reception decorations, food, flowers (lots of flowers...), photos, dress (with alterations), and rings cost around $3000. I don't even know how some people are capable of spending as much money as I've heard of them spending $20,000+ for a wedding? What in the world are you spending it on…

A wedding here in Uruguay costs upwards of U$ 20.000, mostly because it's an evening party:

- At least U$ 20/person in food and drinks - At least U$ 2000 for a suitable locale, rented months in advance - All the decor, music, etc. (several thousand dollars) - Wedding dress, etc. - Expenses (both church and civil I guess)

Depending on the newlyweds' budget and notoriety, it can go anywhere from 100 to 2000 invitees.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#755

Post by checker »

n09n wrote: post #711
checker wrote: post #666

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If a proposer reneges, then you'll own the ring: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring#Legal_ownership

By then it's too late. The point is not to get more out of it if things go south. The point is to make sure they don't. This is basic game theory, buddy.

Perhaps I should have been more verbose. The point I was trying to make is that neither proposer is more likely to renege. Since they have both given away their 25k investment, it doesn't matter to either of them what the resale value is and thus it has no impact on their decisions. Unless it's assumed that you'll be combining assets upon marriage, which I hadn't taken into account in my original post.

Since you'll have to decline one of these proposals, one of them gets their ring back. Which one are you more likely to accept? All things equal, the 20k resale ring.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#756

Post by jami »

If you're looking to marry a woman who is the equivalent of a diamond -- a pretty thing to have with you always (well, until she gets old and decays, on a much shorter time scale than the diamond) -- and she wants a diamond, give her the dang diamond. You're not marrying her because she's already thought about blood diamonds and wondered why diamonds are still expensive when they can be made in the lab from a very abundant element. You're marrying her because pretty! Shiny! Shoes!

If you want to marry someone intelligent, you may find that she considered the content of this blog post long ago and is astounded at its popularity on Hacker News, and she would prefer a ring from a bubble gum machine, or one made from ash from that volcano you hiked together, or an heirloom or something.

When I decided who to marry, I kept in mind that intelligence decays much less reliably than looks. But your mileage, gentlemen mostly it seems, may vary.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#757

Post by kaybe »

evilmushroom wrote: post #751
ensignavenger wrote: post #633

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am very glad that my wife was reasonable and agreed that I need not get her a diamond. She still wanted a ring, so I designed and made a claddagh style ring for her, with a blue topaz set in silver. It cost me less than $50, plus many hours researching, designing, and carving the wax mold. (I have a friend who is a jeweler, and he was able to provide expert assistance and tools to get the job done :) Now, rather th…

My girlfriend said the same thing. I did however get her a diamond (she doesn't know about it yet)... but it cost me 1/20th the price as I have a friend in that industry. I would not have paid retail for a diamond as I know how much of a rip off it is. The rest of the ring I'm including fragments from a martian meteorite, a lunar meteorite, and a deep space iron meteorite...... and then other gems from every continen…

I think your collection of stones is quite awesome as well, and tells a far better story than just a diamond.

Here's the obligatory xkcd comic: http://xkcd.com/260/ It's about glass, but the resulting piece is very cool because of the story.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#758

Post by jlcx »

stephengillie wrote: post #271
eli wrote: post #258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you signal the value of your bank account besides using it to buy expensive things? (And this is certainly not a gender-specific problem: consider sports cars, gold chains, or bottle service at clubs)

You could signal directly, such as an ATM receipt. I understand the point you're making -- the value of expensive things in signaling to someone you don't know . I can't see the point in marrying someone if I couldn't trust them with my bank account. Edit: I'm realizing that this is entirely from my perspective. How does a woman without earning potential display her husband's wealth to her family and friends? She ask…

Regarding gifts of approximately equal value, I've heard of women giving men "engagement watches". It seems like they're generally worth less than the rings, though.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#759

Post by akama »

transitionality wrote: post #718
RougeFemme wrote: post #639

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted my birthstone, a sapphire, and that's what I got. Everyone in my family and circle of friends thought it was great. The only one who had an issue was my mother-in-law, who said "I know my son loves you more than that". My MIL and I had different values. . .

The birthstone myth is just as made up as the De Beers diamond myths.

If that is true, at least birthstones don't cost as much generally.

Re: Diamonds Are Bullshit

#760

Post by evilmushroom »

kaybe wrote: post #757
evilmushroom wrote: post #751

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My girlfriend said the same thing. I did however get her a diamond (she doesn't know about it yet)... but it cost me 1/20th the price as I have a friend in that industry. I would not have paid retail for a diamond as I know how much of a rip off it is. The rest of the ring I'm including fragments from a martian meteorite, a lunar meteorite, and a deep space iron meteorite...... and then other gems from every continen…

I think your collection of stones is quite awesome as well, and tells a far better story than just a diamond. Here's the obligatory xkcd comic: http://xkcd.com/260/ It's about glass, but the resulting piece is very cool because of the story.

XKCD is always relevant.

She and I love traveling and travel a lot-- I wanted her ring to represent every place mankind has gone/will go to in our lifetime.... I bet there are few objects in the world that have been combined with pieces from so many distant origins.

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