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Visit NY for a week or two: https://secure.iqres0822.com/iqreservations/asp/IQHome.asp
We can save you from yourself.
Look at http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/690958main_p1237a1.jpg -- every dot in that image is a galaxy. Each galaxy has over 100 billion stars. Do whatever the heck you want in this world. It'll work out.
Little over-dramatic there buddy. You're still incredibly young. You're very likely only about one third of the way through life.
That kind of over-dramatic, unrealistic thinking is not constructive.
However I had the great opportunity of having an awesome co-founder. He seems to be picking up where I left and finishes them off beautifully. Server side coding? check. Server side UI remake? check. Landing page details? check. I grew very interested in the fact that facing the same amount and type of work, why can he persist and why not me?
I think I had the answer this morning after quite of few months of introspection. The difference between me and him is that I look at how things were supposed to be, while he looks at how things could be. Let me make an example.
Remember the old story that half a glass of water can be both viewed as still a half remaining or a half missing, generating different moods? Well my tiny story is a twist to it. Say you were to fill a bigger glass with a tiny ink converter. Let's say it will take about 2hrs of mind-numbing work. After one hour with half a glass, I would look at the task and say, oh my, still a half to go. How grueling can this be? Then I'd feel frustrated and give up. Just like what I did to many of the tasks I started but never finished. My co-founder, I suspect, will look at the remaining work and say, oh my, only one more hour to go then I'll have this wonderful filled glass of water! That's why he stays up and working and never seems to have burn outs. I guess positive emotions never gives you burn outs. It is persisting under negative emotions gets you burn outs.
So I'm guessing the key is to catch yourself thinking in a bad way that is generating negative emotions, then turn the thinking in a better way that generates positive emotions.
I just realized this this morning. There should be a few points that I'm missing but I think I'll figure more out in the coming days/weeks. Meanwhile I am logging my thoughts and see if I can turn my emotions around and if that makes a (at least) personal difference. Hope it is useful for you.
I figured that I will work on what I like rather than what is or will be 'cool' after 4 years of this struggle. There were humanitarian projects I had thought of as a junior in college that never saw the light of day. I have begun those. It makes me happy to work on things that I want to work on, rather than what can become a great business. At least that's a start. I have started thinking in terms of how can I deliver a great product to my users from the idea I have and love.
Don't get me wrong, I am still learning. I have to make a mental note every hour of the day to not compare, not get distracted. My physical therapist told me that one has to make a mental note of their posture. That is termed as "body mechanics". I think that that goes with our minds too. You have to keep training yourself to stay positive by little tricks like avoiding comparison, recognizing what you want to do and accepting reality etc.
Maybe not the best advice but my 2 cents.
Good luck!
You sound depressed, and I think you should be talking to people about getting help. Your career will be fine no matter what you do. Please take your health seriously.
His slight self-degrading humour strikes a chord with me as a soon-to-be-30-year-old who is still an utter failure (by "millionaire by 23, billionaire by 28" standards).
> I need to break out of my own little word (unfortunately, besides being a loser, I'm also a loner). Visit NY for a week or two: https://secure.iqres0822.com/iqreservations/asp/IQHome.asp We can save you from yourself. Look at http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/690958main_p1237a1.jpg -- every dot in that image is a galaxy. Each galaxy has over 100 billion stars. Do whatever the heck you want in this world. It'll wor…
I visited SF, Chicago, NYC and Austin, TX all in the last year - each trip has made me more and more inspired.
Good luck man. But you should just try to achieve doing something that makes you happy. Making boatloads of money, the next Google, or some other goal that 1/10000000 people would ever achieve is not the be all end all of it (if it's even a valid life goal).
Yes, but so far, I literally haven't achieved anything. I'm not shooting for Google or Facebook. If only I can find a small niche market, I would be perfectly content with that.
I learned coding within the last 2 years or so, and before that I had felt quite as you did. I dabbled in Visual Basic at 14, but then I came upon this huge wall of C++. I couldn't grasp OOP and it's weird Cat cat = new Cat() for the life of me, and I though I just wasn't smart enough, so I stopped playing with it until recently. In the last year especially I got comfortable (and grew to love) the command line, git, vim and a bunch of technologies I thought I would never have the patience or diligence to wrap my head around. Really the last year has got me so far. You can do a lot in a year's worth of spare time, if you can find a practical project to motivate you.
(edit: I realise finding work probably isn't the focus, but.. just saying)
Some of us never quite make that leap. Hope your landing is a good one! And if it isn't, well, do it again anyway.
