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I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

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I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#1

Post by qisine »

I have been a dreamer all my life. It took me until last year to figure this out, and only thanks to this community. I hardly ever tried - and when I tried, I didn't persist. It has been my goal to start a business since ever I can remember. And yet I never really tried (until last year, which resulted in abysmal failure). Not even something small, like selling stuff online. I was always good at dreaming up new ideas. But never executed on any one of them.

Likewise, I have been programming on and off since the age of 17. Unfortunately, I started out with C++. As soon as I hit pointers, I made up my mind that programming was only for people smarter than me. Somehow, I did get back into it a few years later, but I never really became proficient at it. Again, I was good at learning the basics, reading code, messing around with code snippets on the command line. But I never built anything of value.

I don't have too much time left. My 20ies are gone. This is my chance to turn the boat around, and realize my goals. So, this is meant as much for the rest of the world as it is meant for myself. Usually, I would have just signed up with yet another anonymous name. Not this time. I want to keep myself honest. I need to break out of my own little word (unfortunately, besides being a loser, I'm also a loner).

HN, here I am. My name is Stefan Kueng, I'm 30 years old, based in Switzerland. For better or for worse. This is my last chance to get my life back on track. If anyone else reads this, wish me good luck.

[EDIT] Thanks for your all your responses! I really appreciate it. I admit that my post probably was a bit too much drama. Actually, I have been wanting to say what I said for a long time. But I restrained myself, because I didn't want to decrease the signal-to-noise ratio on HN. But this time I felt I just had to. I'll probably not get to answer to everyone of you tonight. Just once again, a heartfelt thanks to you guys. HN really is a great community. And yes, I will consider all your advise. But I'm definitely going ahead with my plan to start building stuff - and eventually to start a business. I have long ago made up my mind that I have only one life. I could go the safe route and work a regular 9-to-5 job, perhaps start a family, and lead a long and happy life. Or I could bet everything on something that's far less likely to succeed. Even if I fail and the resulting stress cuts a few years off my life span, it will have been worth it. I have been wanting to start my own business for too long. I just can't let go of it.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#4

Post by grist »

I felt the same way a few years ago. If you'd like some advice, here's what I learned on the long climb out:

Dedicate at least one night a week to a project. When you get home from the day job, you start work on the project, and you keep at it for at least 6 hours. Make sure this night becomes a sacred obligation, you don't skip it for anything but weddings/funerals.

This helps ensure the project progresses on a weekly basis. It protects the time from family/friends/spouses who may not understand or accept that you are busy at random times, but can understand a scheduled obligation.

caveats: One night a week is usually too slow for any project, so don't use this as a crutch, you should still pour hours into whatever you do throughout the week out of passion - this is a safety valve for busy or passionless times.

It is a lot easier to pull this off with a group of like-minded people, try to get a couple other people (even remote) to join you in the endeavor.

Good luck!

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#5

Post by coldtea »

Good luck man.

But you should just try to achieve doing something that makes you happy.

Making boatloads of money, the next Google, or some other goal that 1/10000000 people would ever achieve is not the be all end all of it (if it's even a valid life goal).

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#6

Post by qisine »

grist wrote: post #4

I felt the same way a few years ago. If you'd like some advice, here's what I learned on the long climb out: Dedicate at least one night a week to a project. When you get home from the day job, you start work on the project, and you keep at it for at least 6 hours. Make sure this night becomes a sacred obligation, you don't skip it for anything but weddings/funerals. This helps ensure the project progresses on a week…

> It is a lot easier to pull this off with a group of like-minded people, try to get a couple other people (even remote) to join you in the endeavor.

Thanks for your kind advise. This is what I intend to do. If anyone else would like to join me, please let me know. My gmail id is kungs10.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#7

Post by qisine »

coldtea wrote: post #5

Good luck man. But you should just try to achieve doing something that makes you happy. Making boatloads of money, the next Google, or some other goal that 1/10000000 people would ever achieve is not the be all end all of it (if it's even a valid life goal).

Yes, but so far, I literally haven't achieved anything. I'm not shooting for Google or Facebook. If only I can find a small niche market, I would be perfectly content with that.

Re: I'm a loser and I want to change that - now

#8

Post by losethos »

I was a rock star at Ticketmaster at age 20 (1990) programming in VAX assembly language on their VAX operating system while going to school and getting a degree in ... basically ... embedded systems from ASU, then, getting a master's in electrical engineering.

I was an atheist until God appeared in 1996 like St. Paul and I quit my job at Ticketmaster, gave away everything and lived homeless. Nothing turned-up so I tried my dream of a business. I made a 3-axis milling machine -- mechanical, electrical and software.

"LoseThos" was not a self inflicted wound. It is like you tell someone to get rid of a dorky bike helmet or something.

----

God says...

4:21 Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died.

4:22 And, behold, as Barak pursued Sisera, Jael came out to meet him, and said unto him, Come, and I will shew thee the man whom thou seekest. And when he came into her tent, behold, Sisera lay dead, and the nail was in his temples.

4:23 So God subdued on that day Jabin the king of Canaan before the children of Israel.

4:24 And the hand of the children of Israel prospered, and prevailed against Jabin the king of Canaan, until they had destroyed Jabin king of Canaan.

----

My jobs have always been as meaningless as a Truman Show Movie job, thank's to the CIA. Fuck-it.

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