Reminds me of why the Danes are said to be very happy--low expectations.
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/lowered-expe...
Be Happier with Zero Expectation
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Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#12This is reminiscent of the Taoist virtue "to hold fast to the submissive is called strength." Or in other words, if a person never competes, he can never suffer defeat.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#13Earlier quoted context omitted.
Pretty cool German saying. Care to write it in German? I did learn a lil German n would be interested to know it :)
Glück ist Wirklichkeit minus Erwartungen. (As far as I know think this saying originated in Hinduism in the first place and found its way into the german linguistic area somehow)
I know it as "Glück ist Erreichtes minus Erwartetes.", pretty much the same.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#14Amazing how we the more we advance civilization, the better we are at ignoring 10,000 years of human wisdom. I suppose it's never a bad thing when someone rediscovers these tidbits for themselves.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#15This is true but it's just not realistic. There are situations in life where expectations are totally appropriate. I'd even argue that expectations drive us forward. And if you have no expectation of an outcome, how can you be happy or sad at all at the end? Or how can you tell there has even been an outcome? If I have to drive somewhere and have no expectation of arrival time then I'll neither be happy nor sad when…
Contentment is an important form of happiness. Older people generally feel happier (there are research findings on this, but I don't remember the source right now) because they are more contented.
A key wisdom of Buddhism is that through sustained practice you can deeply understand the world, the mind, and their natural ups and downs. If you truly live by that understanding, you will earn a profound peace of mind and be free from any sufferings that accompany most lives. (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nirvana)
Note that the practice may take as long as the mastery of other arts, like piano or chess, but it is definitely achievable.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#16This is true but it's just not realistic. There are situations in life where expectations are totally appropriate. I'd even argue that expectations drive us forward. And if you have no expectation of an outcome, how can you be happy or sad at all at the end? Or how can you tell there has even been an outcome? If I have to drive somewhere and have no expectation of arrival time then I'll neither be happy nor sad when…
I'm not sure much else needs to be added to what you said, as you nailed it. If you go through life zeroing out expectations, you start to feel very numb. The joy AND the pain remind you you're alive. Moreover, the pain makes the joy that much better.
This is all philosophical so I'll avoid trying to impart platitudes, except to say be wary of advice when it recommends approaching every problem in life the same way.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#17This doesn't work at all for me. I love having expectations. I love looking forward to things.
I'm going on a trip in May, and I expect it to be great. If it sucks, I might be a bit disappointed, but the vacation is a week, and the time I can look forward to it is several months. If the vacation turns out to be great, I'll feel great about it. Would I feel even greater if I had no expectations? Don't know. I really don't think the delta of getting pleasantly surprised outweighs the months of looking forward to the trip.
Being able to accept what you can't change (e.g. being stuck in traffic) without getting overly frustrated is conducive to happiness, no doubt. I'm not sure what it has to do with expectations; if I expect to be stuck in traffic all morning, that doesn't make it more fun when it actually happens.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#18Reminds me of why the Danes are said to be very happy--low expectations. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/lowered-expe...
Great article. "Danes would make good Buddhists. They live their lives as the Buddha advised: in the present tense, not grasping at some future happiness jackpot."
Also the quote by @manmal is mentioned. “Happiness equals reality minus expectations.” Given that neat formulation, there are two ways to attack the problem: boost our reality or lower our expectations.
Interesting stuff.
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#19This is true but it's just not realistic. There are situations in life where expectations are totally appropriate. I'd even argue that expectations drive us forward. And if you have no expectation of an outcome, how can you be happy or sad at all at the end? Or how can you tell there has even been an outcome? If I have to drive somewhere and have no expectation of arrival time then I'll neither be happy nor sad when…
Contentment is an important form of happiness. Older people generally feel happier (there are research findings on this, but I don't remember the source right now) because they are more contented. A key wisdom of Buddhism is that through sustained practice you can deeply understand the world, the mind, and their natural ups and downs. If you truly live by that understanding, you will earn a profound peace of mind and…
@nachteilig posted an article (http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/lowered-expe...) in one of the comments below that mentioned a study by University of Chicago sociologist Yang Yang where he found older people are generally happier
I think it is very hard to master the art of just being truly contented and happy and you are right in saying that it takes a lot of practice
Re: Be Happier with Zero Expectation
#20Haven't read the article yet (I will), but I recognized your site due to my work with userena :)