Who really wants a self-driving car?

This article reads like notes for a stand-up comedy bit.

"Will my car be smart enough to follow the guy with shopping bag and car keys in his hand to his car and wait for his space or will it just park in the nearest (and most expensive) garage

But, hey, while all these geniuses are working on making cars smarter, how about maybe forgetting the self-parking idea and coming up with cars that [can tell] my kids in the back seat to pipe down if the decibel level gets too high"

A: Lazy people who walk so rarely they've forgotten they have feet, rich people with more money than brains and people who love cars and the polluting stench that spews from the tailpipe.