Why Aaron died

You're absolutely right that we can be sneaky. A huge part of that is the stigma associated with depression. I'm certain that if all of my clients knew about it, I'd lose some of them for the simple fact that they'd consider me unreliable in the long term.

So, when Taren mentioned that she'd been "reading up" on depression, and concluded that that wasn't what Aaron was suffering from, I did cringe a little. I came to the comments here expecting to find some discussion of depression; what I didn't expect was the top comment completely dismissing Aaron's suicide as being only about depression.

Depression is probably different for different people, like most things. Mine simply makes me more susceptible to struggling when life gets hard. I'm rarely depressed when the sun is shining and there's money in the bank account and my car is working and my business is good and my friends and family are happy. When too many of those things are off, I feel it intensely and my default biochemical response is to crawl into a hole and want to disappear. I have to fight my way back out of that, every time.

So I find Aaron's case very easy to empathize with. If I were in his situation -- inasmuch as I understand his situation at this point -- I'm honestly not sure what I would do. I can tell you that I'd feel overpowered, hopeless, and defeated. I can also tell you that I would want to punch anyone in the face who said that if I chose to commit suicide as a result of the situation, it would be primarily because of my depression.

Here is the criteria for major depression: Diagnostic criteria:

Depressed mood and/or loss of interest or pleasure in life activities for at least 2 weeks and at least five of the following symptoms that cause clinically significant impairment in social, work, or other important areas of functioning almost every day

1. Depressed mood most of the day.

2. Diminished interest or pleasure in all or most activities.

3. Significant unintentional weight loss or gain.

4. Insomnia or sleeping too much.

5. Agitation or psychomotor retardation noticed by others.

6. Fatigue or loss of energy.

7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt.

8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.

9. Recurrent thoughts of death (APA, 2000, p. 356).

I am sure everyone has met some of its criteria at some point in their life. Without a real diagnosis, you really can't say if the person has a major depression. Even with a diagnosis, how do you know the doctor is making the right diagnosis with SUCH VAGUE criteria?

Edit: I am very aware of what DanBC has pointed out about the other criteria: i) at least 2 weeks ii) and at least five of the following symptoms iii) clinically significant impairment in social, work, or other important areas of functioning almost every day.

BUT THEN, the question becomes "Why 2 week?" "Why at least five of the symptoms?" Who came up with the numbers? Let me tell you, the DSM committee have a lot of disagreement about those. Those numbers are not some magic numbers that once you pass that threshold, you suddenly become clinical depressed.

For example, #7 is a common one for me - and you simply can't see it or diagnose it unless I tell you. But you can usually tell from other things; like the fact I get obsessed with ideas and spend a lot of time walking (i.e. thinking/brooding).

I agree with you; and I wasn't exactly trying to make a diagnosis over the internet. I was trying to point out that although Taren seems so certain he was not depressed, she makes some claims which are very much not the be-all-and-end-all of depression. And that some of the activities she describes are common tells for depression.

My point being; it's not simple, and depression is a complex and evil thing.

Some of those people grow up in a culture that prepares them for the possibility that they will be jailed, even possibly unjustly imprisoned.

> Depression was not the issue according to someone much closer to the situation than you.

So what? Closeness doesn't mean you automatically understand a situation. In fact, an argument could be made that closeness can blind people to objective reasoning about a subject.

> Are his parents depressed? No, I know them both. Were his grandparents depressed? No. I knew his grandfather.

The person you were replying to wasn't implying that his parents are or ever were depressed. He was saying that there is a strong genetic component to depression. Please research "recessive traits".

Let me rephrase your argument to Tay-Sachs disease: "How could he lack the haxosaminidase A protein? His parents did not lack the haxosaminidase A protein, and neither did his grandparents".