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We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

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Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#111

Post by chris_wot »

synecdoche wrote: post #110
chris_wot wrote: post #47

Right now I am depressed. I feel terrible, and very, very guilty that I feel the way I do. I don't want to do anything, but I do want to do something to distract me away from my awful feeling of numbness. I worry about the future at times, and feel I'm at a dead end. I worry about my kids, and my wife, and my ageing parents. I'm sleeping constantly, but when I sleep my dreams are too vivid. Despite it all, I'm a func…

I recognise some of the symptoms you describe; feeling guilty and feeling shame for my shortcomings. When asked what I would like to do, like you I didn't want to do anything. I used to be depressed. Here is my experience. My depression ended about 6 months ago and lasted for about 4 years. Before then I've been depressed on and off most of my life, sometimes as severely as this time, other times just as nearly const…

I should, perhaps, clarify that I'm remarkably open about my depression when I'm not in the midst of it and feeling like I'm a burden on everyone. When I'm feeling as I am at the moment, that's when my tendency to feel guilty comes to the fore.

Very odd, and not helpful. It's very, very hard to get perspective when in this sort of state. Ironically, on HN I seem to be able to express myself. Perhaps putting down the words on the page (or textbox) gives some perspective. I'm sure I can't be the only one who experiences this...

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#112

Post by gesman »

As part of self observation I noticed that depression starts with negative thinking. The thought can be qualified as "negative" or "positive" by the physical bodily sensation it produces. Negative thought essentially produces self-inflicted pain within the body. Consistent negative thinking produces more inner pain and at more intense levels. This inner pain in turns fuels negative thoughts pattern that continues to inflict more "emotional" pain. Then it becomes vicious cycle of "beating yourself up".

At deeply depressed stages thought control no longer works and any attempts to "think yourself" out of depression are becoming futile. At these stages depression is fueled by constant intense physical/emotional pain that is constantly present seemingly without any thinking processed. The more intense the pain - the more unbearable it is - and this drives person to suicide as the last resort to stop suffering.

The actual solution in this case it to guide person to look at the pain directly instead of escaping, avoiding or suppressing it with painkillers. Painkillers may be necessary to maintain sanity though through the practice. This is ancient practice talked about by pretty much every spiritual teacher - yet widely ignored. When you feel depressed - locate exact area of painful physical sensations within the body and start observing it. Watch your sensations, watch your feelings, watch them exactly where they are. Do not try to change them, do not try to kill them, just observe them. At the same time breathe and follow your breathing as well. Conscious breathing slows down incessant thinking. Direct observation of painful emotions will start dissolving them.

This is very efficient practice that I personally benefited from during very intense emotional downturns and depressive states.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#113

Post by marknutter »

primitur wrote: post #55

We need more compassion in general - not just for the outlier cases - but society in general can be a pretty mean entity. I've been thinking lately how sad it is that so many of the younger hackers in my local scene (metalab.at) are not as familiar with John Lennons' World Peace movement as they should be. That light was snuffed out, but John (and Yoko, and many, many others) were really trying hard to get a world pe…

Funny. For me, I get depressed and turned off when I see too much peace, happiness, and love crap in media. Maybe it's because I'm part of the generation who's grown skeptical of everything in media, but I definitely prefer the darker, sarcastic side of content. A John Lennon style love/peace-fest sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. No thanks.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#114

Post by michaelochurch »

jay-pinkman wrote: post #37

not all cases of depression can be attributed to unbalanced brain chemistry. sometimes the chemistry is ok, it's just your life is fucked. in this case depression is a normal reaction. you just can't remain all cheerful when you're drowning in shit. i don't think taking up meds or doing other things to cover it up is a good answer to such situations. with all its negative aspects depression is also a big reminder tha…

not all cases of depression can be attributed to unbalanced brain chemistry. sometimes the chemistry is ok, it's just your life is fucked. in this case depression is a normal reaction.

PTSD is also a normal reaction (to extreme circumstances) but it's maladaptive.

Still, I disagree with you that actual depression is a "normal reaction". Sadness and anger are normal emotions that normal people feel. Depression is something else.

People tend to conflated depressed mood, which is transient intense sadness, with the disease of depression, which is something else-- much longer lasting and more devastating.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#115

Post by throwin »

I agree that depression is an illness. I also agree that we need more sympathy and help for those who suffer it, and there needs to be less stigma surrounding it.

Having said that, we should not forget the victim's loved ones left behind, after his/her suicide to grieve and bury the victim. These people are victims too. Sometimes other lives are destroyed by an act of suicide. A young wife left to raise the kids alone. A mother forced to bury an only child; perhaps committed to a life of depression herself.

For the record, I have had my own battles with depression. I have had days I was unable to get out of bed. I have also had suicidal thoughts. But the thought of the pain I would inflict on my family, particularly my mom, would never allow me to truly consider it an option. I don't pretend to have felt the pain that would drive one to suicide, because there are degrees and experiences differ. But it helps to know where I'm coming from.

I think there needs to be more of a stigma surrounding suicide and more awareness for the pain of those that are left to grieve. If you're considering ending it all, please try to get help, and please think of the pain you will be inflicting on those you leave behind.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#117

Post by Sakes »

chris_wot wrote: post #47

Right now I am depressed. I feel terrible, and very, very guilty that I feel the way I do. I don't want to do anything, but I do want to do something to distract me away from my awful feeling of numbness. I worry about the future at times, and feel I'm at a dead end. I worry about my kids, and my wife, and my ageing parents. I'm sleeping constantly, but when I sleep my dreams are too vivid. Despite it all, I'm a func…

You sound like you are doing a great job man, as someone who has lived through depression, I'd like to say that I'm proud of you.

If you'd like to talk about it further just let me know.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#118

Post by danabramov »

throwaway_toby wrote: post #78
austenallred wrote: post #23

Thank you, Mark, for writing this. I have lost three close friends in the past three months to depression. Their deaths were so similar it was shocking; they were all among the most brilliant people I had known, and all had been suffering from depression almost their entire lives. At the funeral of the one who was closest to me, another girl told a story of how on one day when his depression was particularly bad, he…

> Recognize your brain lies to you Thank you for re-emphasizing this. I believe it is the single most important bit of knowledge we can have about depression. My wife has been struggling with depression on and off for years, and it always frustrates me how she in the depressed periods seemingly belittles and obliterates all the good things that happen around her, while all inconveniences and imperfections, big or sma…

Thanks for sharing this.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#119

Post by cbs »

marknutter wrote: post #113
primitur wrote: post #55

We need more compassion in general - not just for the outlier cases - but society in general can be a pretty mean entity. I've been thinking lately how sad it is that so many of the younger hackers in my local scene (metalab.at) are not as familiar with John Lennons' World Peace movement as they should be. That light was snuffed out, but John (and Yoko, and many, many others) were really trying hard to get a world pe…

Funny. For me, I get depressed and turned off when I see too much peace, happiness, and love crap in media. Maybe it's because I'm part of the generation who's grown skeptical of everything in media, but I definitely prefer the darker, sarcastic side of content. A John Lennon style love/peace-fest sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. No thanks.

Funny. For me, I get depressed and turned off when I see too much peace, happiness, and love crap in media.

I tend to be the same way. If I was as depressed as I as a few years I would be actively hostile toward the vast majority of the otherwise well-intentioned posts on this submission.

Re: We Need to Have Sympathy for Those With Depression. It is an Illness

#120

Post by danso »

pvnick wrote: post #107
lusr wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And even if you move past the paralysis, trying to cure oneself of depression is like trying to debug the operating system of your mind using a debugger running the exact same flawed logic that you're trying to debug! Worse, those bugs are live and their nature is to slowly but surely corrupt the rest of the system software pertaining to beliefs, memory, perception and thought processing. Eventually you reach a point…

I just wanted to reply to give another endorsement to David Burns' Feeling Good ( http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/03808... ) - I personally use the Feeling Good Handbook ( http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452281326 ) which is the exact same thing but a little condensed. It's a big book which can be hard to tackle with depression. Guys, if you're suffering from depression or anxiety, this is th…

Wow, 700 pages for the 4 dollar Kindle edition. Hard to not give it a try http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B00...
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