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What it's like having a kid

amsiegel.com

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Re: What it's like having a kid

#41

Post by yarou »

tinok wrote: post #39

So let me get this: - baby's heart rate was of concern to your doctor - no progress for several hours - baby pooped - your wife had fever during labor - baby and mother now have an infection - c-section - big commotion, no communication with the wife And people still think epidural is a normal part of child birthing? On top of that - this couple will go on to tell other parents how lucky they were that they gave birt…

Yes, laypeople have no clue...except those who have been trained for years, both theoretically and practically, in medicine. Child birthing is a natural event, but so is dying from cancer. Does that mean one should eschew chemotherapy and radiation treatment?

Re: What it's like having a kid

#42

Post by andymoe »

spydum wrote: post #12
andymoe wrote: post #2

Just experienced this a month ago as the man as well. "Intense" is the only reasonable word I could possibly use to describe the experience. I can't even imagine going through it from the other side as a woman and, oh man, the things we leave out when educating people about giving birth. Fatherhood is pretty cool so far though!

congrats, I can only get say it gets better for the next few years!

Thank you!

Re: What it's like having a kid

#44

Post by tinok »

yarou wrote: post #41
tinok wrote: post #39

So let me get this: - baby's heart rate was of concern to your doctor - no progress for several hours - baby pooped - your wife had fever during labor - baby and mother now have an infection - c-section - big commotion, no communication with the wife And people still think epidural is a normal part of child birthing? On top of that - this couple will go on to tell other parents how lucky they were that they gave birt…

Yes, laypeople have no clue...except those who have been trained for years, both theoretically and practically, in medicine. Child birthing is a natural event, but so is dying from cancer. Does that mean one should eschew chemotherapy and radiation treatment?

Hospitals are not where mothers are supposed to give birth. They are constantly rushed to get the baby out, doctors are terrible at patient management and very quick to suggest chemical interventions, are very happy to use suctions to get the baby out and go home early, etc. 100,000 people die every year in the US from infections contracted during hospital visits, completely unrelated to the original reason for the visit. Why would you want your infant child in that sick environment?

As for cancer, ignoring the fact that you compare it to child birth, it's completely natural. We all have cancer cells in our bodies at various times. Weak, unhealthy bodies do not know how to fight it, hence the so-called cancer breaks out so to speak. And you're correct that there are many other treatments to consider before traditional methods, but I'll get downvoted for speaking, so why bother.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#45

Post by johnnyn »

yarou wrote: post #41
tinok wrote: post #39

So let me get this: - baby's heart rate was of concern to your doctor - no progress for several hours - baby pooped - your wife had fever during labor - baby and mother now have an infection - c-section - big commotion, no communication with the wife And people still think epidural is a normal part of child birthing? On top of that - this couple will go on to tell other parents how lucky they were that they gave birt…

Yes, laypeople have no clue...except those who have been trained for years, both theoretically and practically, in medicine. Child birthing is a natural event, but so is dying from cancer. Does that mean one should eschew chemotherapy and radiation treatment?

Potocin and an epidural are not treatments. C-sections are emergency procedures and should only be done in emergency and high risk situations. Unfortunately, they are the norm now.

The problem is not C-sections and epidurals. The problem is that both are sometimes unecessarily given without much thought and for non-emergencies.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#46

Post by derleth »

tinok wrote: post #44
yarou wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, laypeople have no clue...except those who have been trained for years, both theoretically and practically, in medicine. Child birthing is a natural event, but so is dying from cancer. Does that mean one should eschew chemotherapy and radiation treatment?

Hospitals are not where mothers are supposed to give birth. They are constantly rushed to get the baby out, doctors are terrible at patient management and very quick to suggest chemical interventions, are very happy to use suctions to get the baby out and go home early, etc. 100,000 people die every year in the US from infections contracted during hospital visits, completely unrelated to the original reason for the v…

> I'll get downvoted for speaking

Only if you say stuff without bothering to back any of it up with evidence, so people can tell if you're getting your information from a real source, or Alex Jones, Natural News, and that merry band of lunatics.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#47

Post by Gobitron »

tinok wrote: post #39

So let me get this: - baby's heart rate was of concern to your doctor - no progress for several hours - baby pooped - your wife had fever during labor - baby and mother now have an infection - c-section - big commotion, no communication with the wife And people still think epidural is a normal part of child birthing? On top of that - this couple will go on to tell other parents how lucky they were that they gave birt…

I'm extremely thankful we were at a hospital when my wife had an emergency c-section. I'm quite sure modern medical facilities and capabilities contributed significantly to us having a healthy baby.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#48

Post by seriocomic »

Wow, so much to resonate with. I'm reading this to pass the time while my fiance is measuring her contractions. We're due today. We were lucky to have four 2-hour educational sessions that went through all the various scenarios and what the options (and consequences were) - hopefully everything goes smoothly.

It's probably not the actual birth experience that resonated so much - it was the way the disconnected expectation and sense of intangibility about the lead-up to the birth that was well written. It is/was hard for me to explain to others why I wasn't overtly excited (I am, but in an internal way). Good to hear that others feel this way too.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#49

Post by Tyrant505 »

diego wrote: post #24

As someone who spent six years trying to conceive and failed, reading this post makes me feel really bad. I'd point out that it's not Hacker News, but I'd have to do that for 50% of the posts on the front page at any given time.

Does trying and failing to conceive create a job-like mentality to sex life? I know it's personal.. but for an aside sex as a task happens to a lot of relationships, without these troubles. Sorry for your troubles.

Re: What it's like having a kid

#50

Post by diego »

yarou wrote: post #38
diego wrote: post #24

As someone who spent six years trying to conceive and failed, reading this post makes me feel really bad. I'd point out that it's not Hacker News, but I'd have to do that for 50% of the posts on the front page at any given time.

Have you thought about fertility and genetic counseling? (apologies if you already have, I realize this is a very personal and sensitive subject). For what it's worth, my parents conceived twice before I was born, both miscarriages, yet I turned out alright.

I've done everything you can think of and more. We actually conceived once, it was a miscarriage.

Edit: if you really want to know, we fertilized a total of 19 embryos in 4 attempts over the years. Only two of those were deemed implantable by the PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) and both failed to implant. Each time it was a two-week wait between implantation and learning about the failure, knowing that there was a 50/50 chance.

Imagine flipping a coin that will be up in the air for two weeks. It cost you $20k, dozens of injections, tests, trips to the clinic, and general anguish to earn that coin toss.

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