If you want people to follow you, you must have the balls to lead alone first.
Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
71–80 of 117 posts
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#72For the first 10 months of 2012 I planned a trip to Thailand, taking time off contracting. I too became fed up of mates not being able to come with me so in the end thought fuck it, I'll go on my own. The day I posted my plans my mate got in touch and said he'd come with me for 3 weeks. Those 3 weeks we basically argued like a married couple, there were good times, obviously, but we are both very different people. An…
Traveling with someone can be difficult. Just because you're friends with someone doesn't mean you'll both enjoy living on top of each other for a while.
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#73I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…
> The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to announce plans.
This is also a great way to get dates: you don't "ask" them on a date, you merely invite them to go on a date that you'd already planned. It works much the same way as you prescribe. You're actually implying: "I'm going to go do something cool with or without you, and this is my invitation for you to join me _if you wish_."
Additionally, you can't be stood up if you never solidify your plans to revolve solely around one other person.
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#74I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#75I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
Ever since I moved to another city, I eat alone all the time (breakfast, lunch, dinner). I have very, very few friends, and the few I do have live a bit of a ways or we just aren't that good of friends (so I guess they're technically acquaintances). Part of my family lives here, and they just think I'm extremely strange (they've never moved to a different city, though).
It's pretty normal for me now. The only restaurants I won't go to are the ones that are very fancy or where there is a huge social aspect to it (e.g., Korean BBQ restaurants; I've heard they actually turn singletons down! I don't want to risk that.).
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#76This boils down to your personality, not on external factors like who you are with, where you go or what you do. Are you an extrovert, introvert or ambivert? Figure out who you are then everything will make sense
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#77I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
It's not awkward if you sit at the bar. Just bring your smartphone. When you have a chance, talk to the bartender. Eventually, someone else is going to sit down, and see that you're friendly with the bartender, so you must be a nice guy. Then maybe you'll talk to them.
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#78I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…
Number 2 is very important and I do that a lot. A small refinement: some of my friends started to feel arkward because they said "no" to a lot of things. Make clear that you totally don't mind a "no" and that its just your strategy to get to a "yes".
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#79Nicholas Christakis: The hidden influence of social networks [1] :
Should we do things alone, so as not to be contaminated by our friends/entourage.
Or
Should we get surrounded by the most people.
Also, doing things alone FIRST allows you to get surrounded by those interesting people that will follow wherever you will go and whatever you will do
[1] http://www.ted.com/talks/nicholas_christakis_the_hidden_infl...
Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone
#80So my goal is to be a "Millionaire by May". I have 0 dollars right now (living in my parent's basement), and am close to an MVP. I'm going to start a company by myself, do everything myself, rake in the profits by myself. It'll be hard as hell, but by doing it myself I get to learn all the facets, and don't have to communicate my half assed desires (make it more blue-green!). I have a fluorescent dollar sign on my desk, whenever the going gets rough (or I don't want to do it anymore), the dollar sign goes on. Reminds me of my goal.
I've been pumping myself up recently with two things - excuses are just fear, and shoot for simplicity, not efficiency (if it's simple, it's likely pretty damn efficient). Unless there is a ridiculous technical problem, there is generally a way around a problem with a little bit of creativity and elbow grease. Excuses are just lack of desire to find those routes.