Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

When living in Paris, I wanted to attend many concerts but oftentimes I ended up not going because I couldn't find anyone to come with me.

Looking at the many concerts I missed because of that, I decided to automatically buy 2 tickets for each event and ask my friends afterwards, stating that I had an extra ticket. I ended up attending many concerts with one of my friends, and rarely had to sell my extra ticket.

On a side note, two years ago, a group of friends invited me to join them for a 10-days trip in Turkey. They would fly directly from Paris to Istanbul. I lived in Bordeaux then and figured: why don't I go to Istanbul by train on my own? It took me 2 weeks to get there, and along the road I stopped at Milan, Florence, Venice, Ljubljana, Zagreb and Belgrade (plus Munich, Vienna, Budapest, Krakow and Berlin on my way back).

I knew that noone would have agreed to come with me and I immediately felt that I had taken the right decision. It was a sudden one but I don't regret it. I met wonderful people and visited beautiful places, and I realize that depending on someone else's decision would have prevented me from doing these things.

"It's understood that people who don't have enough social connections, they have as high a rate of mortality and morbidity as a pack a day smoker."

How is it understood? I've seen things here and there about an active social life in old age being a key contributor to longevity, but are there any studies indeed showing that the health risk of being a loner (for all of one's life, or for some part of it) is equal to that of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day?

I think I'm kind of a loner. I have zero problems doing things alone.

Most things (esp trips, hiking, biking) I want to do alone. I need alone time. Time away from all the hassles and pressures of "socialness". Time to be selfish. To pause when others might want to go, to go when others might want to pause.

Also, early in life I got real tired of being let down / of the unreliability of people. So, instead of repeating the same activity and expecting a different outcome I quit trying or wanting to participate in planned group activities.

For the first 10 months of 2012 I planned a trip to Thailand, taking time off contracting. I too became fed up of mates not being able to come with me so in the end thought fuck it, I'll go on my own. The day I posted my plans my mate got in touch and said he'd come with me for 3 weeks.

Those 3 weeks we basically argued like a married couple, there were good times, obviously, but we are both very different people. Anyway, as soon as he left me in Cambodia, the trip turned into one of the best experiences of my life.

I went where I wanted, I did what I wanted. I had crazy nights out and the trip was an adventure. I went to see my friend in Koh Phangan and stayed at his dive shop for a few weeks for free. I made friends with the locals and regularly got invited out with everyone. I had 2 of the most unbelievable experiences of my life partying in Haad Riin. I ended up with a girlfriend for 3 months whilst I was there. I met up with an old friend in Malaysia and stayed with her for free in a 5 star hotel for a week - she was on business and got a twin room for me. I met a girl in Bangkok who ended up driving me around the city in her Range Rover and taking me out to clubs. One day I decided to rent a motocross bike and rode it 35km up to the top of Bokor mountain in Cambodia - an amazing experience, more so on the way back down.

All of these things happened when I was on my own. Once I left my friend, I could do exactly what I wanted. There were times when it was hard, e.g. going to clubs on your own, or places where everybody is in a group, but in the end it paid off. Now I'm the guy who just does what he wants. This year I'll go away again to maybe South Korea or the Philippines; I haven't even considered asking someone to go with me.

So yeh, don't be that guy stressing about not having anyone to go places with, fuck it, go on your own.

It depends on the place too.

I'm from Europe, and find travel alone in Europe a little dull.

Travel in Asia is so interesting, I prefer it alone.