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Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

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41–50 of 117 posts

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#41
post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

Do you feel the sam when eating alone in a restaurant in a remote area (like a foreign country) where you don't know anyone?

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#42
My Friends all thought I was crazy when I invited them to drive from Alaska -> Argentina with me.

The choice was clear, go alone, or don't go at all.

I had a life changing two year adventure.

theroadchoseme.com

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#43

There seems to be a strain of thought, especially prevelant in the programming community, that really romanticizes acting alone. I really wonder if we should romanticize it. I used to live like this - I would go to shows alone, eat out alone, go to movies alone. I'd go hiking by myself, I'd go on long bike rides by myself. At the time I didn't have the resources to go on trips by myself, but I would've done that, too…

I'm just the opposite. As I get older I want to hang out with friends less, as I have less time anyways so the time I do have becomes more precious. I enjoy my do-nothing Saturdays. I enjoy my coffee-and-coding Saturdays. I also enjoy the hanging out with friends Saturdays, just not every single Saturday like when I was younger.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#44
post #25

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

yes yes yes! I realized this long time ago. Don't ask who joins. Announce you are going. They will follow. If they don't, fine. It makes it all so much easier. Many people have just followed all their lives and that's what they like to do.

It has the added benefit of no one getting upset in case you have to change your plans. You were just inviting them to join you, versus you agreed to meet up together and then flaked out. Most people in my experience treat those two identical situations differently.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#45
Attn: HN "editors" or whatever the hell you call yourself.

Hang your heads in shame for this getting to the front page.

Am I missing the point of this site? I mean ffs has the word hacker been so utterly and completely co-opted and overused as to have no meaning any more?

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#46
post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

I'm the opposite. I can eat at a nice restaurant alone and enjoy my thoughts and not think twice about it. When I see someone else eating alone, my heart breaks and I contemplate asking them if they would like company.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#47
post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

I eat breakfast and lunch alone about a lot of the time. I love it. I enjoy eating with company if we are there for a more leisure lunch and can enjoy the time. While working though I generally don't like eating with anyone because most of the time people just end up venting about their job.

The one little break I have during lunch I don't want to be talking about work. I want to enjoy where I'm eating or more often than not I go eat my lunch at the beach or a park in between clients and might listen to music or a podcast.

When I do go to restaurants alone even if it's a nice place I will sit at the bar. I like to make small talk with those people if it is not busy.

Along with eating I go surf, golf, and skate alone a lot of times. However, with all these things I generally end up meeting and talking with people. Sometimes I don't though and it's nice just to focus on the activity and just enjoy that.

It's nice when people will come eat, surf, golf, etc. with me. However, given time constraints I don't let people not coming with me a lot of times get in between me going and enjoying a place or activity if it's something I want to do and that's the time in my schedule that permits me the time to go do that thing.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#48

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I cannot even begin to tell you how often I experience this. It's fascinating how clearly drawn leadership and followship (is that a word?) are now that we live in the digital world.

As someone else mentioned, motivation is contagious.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#49
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hah! I came here for this comment. My friends actually pick fun of me when I tell them I go to restaurants alone, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I'll usually bring in a notebook, a book, or something to do... and... take, my, time. I'm on my own schedule when I eat alone. I can eat as slow as I want to, I can order as fast as I want and what I want, I don't have to think of things to talk about, etc. I absolutely love pe…

I'm that guy too. If you really want to throw people for a loop, bring a notebook to thoughtfully write in and snap pictures of your delicious food. I had no idea until after a few times doing this in Italy that everyone was assuming I was a travel writer / food critic. I literally had people at other tables ask me who I wrote for, and when I told them no one they didn't believe me and begged me to tell. It was aweso…

In some places in England if you're spotted doing this they'll think you're a 'mystery shopper' and you get the 11 out of 10 service level.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#50
post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hah! I came here for this comment. My friends actually pick fun of me when I tell them I go to restaurants alone, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I'll usually bring in a notebook, a book, or something to do... and... take, my, time. I'm on my own schedule when I eat alone. I can eat as slow as I want to, I can order as fast as I want and what I want, I don't have to think of things to talk about, etc. I absolutely love pe…

I'm that guy too. If you really want to throw people for a loop, bring a notebook to thoughtfully write in and snap pictures of your delicious food. I had no idea until after a few times doing this in Italy that everyone was assuming I was a travel writer / food critic. I literally had people at other tables ask me who I wrote for, and when I told them no one they didn't believe me and begged me to tell. It was aweso…

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