21–30 of 117 posts
To each his own. Half the fun of traveling is the friends you're with, for me at least. The first time I went to NYC and SF I spent ~8 hours wandering around by myself (friends were still working) and I didn't get much enjoyment out of it. Sure I talked to some random people, but honestly I was bored after about 2 hours. The moments I remember and enjoyed were spent with friends, regardless of the location.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
I guess it's because food is powerfully social. Whether its the idea of breading bread with a stranger when you're travelling, or eating dinner with your family, or taking your other half to a nice restaurant, there's very strong social imperative when it comes to eating - and it's one which exists in pretty much every culture that I can think of.
I used to live like this - I would go to shows alone, eat out alone, go to movies alone. I'd go hiking by myself, I'd go on long bike rides by myself. At the time I didn't have the resources to go on trips by myself, but I would've done that, too.
And it wasn't like I was a pariah. I've always had friends and family around. I've never needed to be single. I just felt like I required this constant solitude, and because of that, enforced a certain distance in my relationships.
As I've gotten older and learned more of how to need other people, I'm kind of horrified at all of the lost opportunities. The friendships I didn't form.
I would really hate for young guys [who I assume comprise much of HN's readership] to read this and say "Yeah, I should go this world alone!" Sometimes this attitude may be called for, but more often than not it will not serve you well.
Travelling? Two is always better than one. If you break a leg in Thailand, someone can help you to the hospital. If you have a friend who lives in Korea, he can be your Seoul mate. Going on a roller coaster? You can sit beside someone you know. Ordered some weird food that you don't like? Just swap with the friend next to you. Two is better than one.
I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…
Many people have just followed all their lives and that's what they like to do.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
Hah! I came here for this comment. My friends actually pick fun of me when I tell them I go to restaurants alone, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I'll usually bring in a notebook, a book, or something to do... and... take, my, time. I'm on my own schedule when I eat alone. I can eat as slow as I want to, I can order as fast as I want and what I want, I don't have to think of things to talk about, etc. I absolutely love pe…
I don't think there's much to be gained from stating either way whether you prefer solo or group travel. I have personally enjoyed travelling solo and with friends. They both have positives and negatives. As people have said at least you are guaranteed company with friends around, and there's much to be said for sharing experiences with someone who you know inside-out or at least well. Having said that, travelling so…
Sure, you shouldn't let your friends hold you back. But I wouldn't underestimate the value of spending time with friends/family. One quote from Robb Wolf has always stuck with me: "It's understood that people who don't have enough social connections, they have as high a rate of mortality and morbidity as a pack a day smoker." http://youtu.be/Tvh23EnFDio Maybe if your friends are holding you back then you should find…
I'm definitely going to have to listen to more of this Robb Wolf, though. Thanks.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.
If you don't want to sit at a table, typically restaurants have a bar area where you can order food and it's not as strange to see people dining solo there. It's also socially acceptable to chat with other people at the bar.