My final note to the love of my life • Hacker News Board

ckeith wrote: post #8

cesarpereira wrote: post #5

I'm going to make some assumptions about your situation so pardon me if I get some things wrong. Do not make any decisions while you are in despair. Reach out to a family member or friend NOW. I felt something similar to this pain once (a lot of people have). The pain will go away. It will go away slowly, but it WILL go away. Little by little every day. Get away from the life you had with her. Have family or friends…

I am trying, I am making progress. Looking back is like looking down and I can't do that. But this pain comes and goes and as it does my mood changes. I am coping, hoping for the better. I am now 400 miles away from family. My whole life changed when I moved down here. I don't know if I can go see family without losing my job as I found all this out during my week of vacation off from work and now cannot take any mor…

>> If I talked to a professional, I would be labeled and I don't want to do that.

I don't think that's a good reason to discard professional help. You have been hit hard, and that can happen to anybody. What's wrong with seeking help from qualified people?

I would recommend to try some new activities, like sport, to help your mind focus on something positive and meet new people, but again, that's just my advice which is by no mean qualified.

Good luck, you will meet another woman for sure bro!

Re: My final note to the love of my life

#14

Post by ckeith » Wed, Jan 23, 2013, 3:15 PM UTC

cesarpereira wrote: post #10

ckeith wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am trying, I am making progress. Looking back is like looking down and I can't do that. But this pain comes and goes and as it does my mood changes. I am coping, hoping for the better. I am now 400 miles away from family. My whole life changed when I moved down here. I don't know if I can go see family without losing my job as I found all this out during my week of vacation off from work and now cannot take any mor…

It is not a black hole. Your vision is just clouded from pain. Let someone hold your hand while you get through it. Ask your boss for a short-term leave due to family issues. Take it without pay if need be. You need to be around family and friends ASAP. At the very least you need to call someone like a close family member or friend. Did you ditch your friends for this girl? Good friends that were good guys? Call them…

I want to talk to family but I feel as if I can't. I don't know why. I just feel as if no one can truly understand the pain. We all feel love in a different way. My problem is now trust unfortunately and even if I found someone I would only be able to think about her. She actually gave my life reason. I didn't ditch my friends, people that I was around could not mature enough to actually become adults. I just want to rewind time and change the day that we fell in love because it just hurts so bad. Sure my family can express sympathy, but they can never empathize with what I am feeling. My wife took care of me, I can't even wash my own clothes without screwing something up. The biggest thing I worry about is not being able to take care of myself. What a disappointment you know?

Re: My final note to the love of my life

#15

Post by speromeliora23 » Sat, Jan 26, 2013, 8:09 PM UTC

Look at it this way: now you can go on living a life based on truth, embrace your pain, and use it as a way get to know the true you, and love that person as you are, then, you will find the perfect person for you and laugh about all of this... Its funny, fundamentally, it's not really her rejecting you... It's you rejecting you... Because no one can make you feel inferior but you, you create your experience, make the best of it and turn your pain into something beautiful

Re: My final note to the love of my life

#16

Post by speromeliora23 » Sat, Jan 26, 2013, 8:16 PM UTC

speromeliora23 wrote: post #15

Look at it this way: now you can go on living a life based on truth, embrace your pain, and use it as a way get to know the true you, and love that person as you are, then, you will find the perfect person for you and laugh about all of this... Its funny, fundamentally, it's not really her rejecting you... It's you rejecting you... Because no one can make you feel inferior but you, you create your experience, make th…

And I've been through this myself, billions other experience this eventually, everyone learns in their own way... As Chuck Palahniuk says in Fight Club, "it's only after we lose everything, that we are free to do anything"