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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#301

Post by illuminate »

notdonspaulding wrote: post #251
lucian1900 wrote: post #244

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, your claims are largely silly. While much porn isn't of particularly good quality, lots of porn is designed for couples. And it's great! You should try it with your wife. Again, you've been watching the wrong porn. Plenty depicts beautiful sexual intimacy.

While I don't see how you've refuted any of my claims specifically, I will address your assertion that I should try porn with my wife. Having used porn myself for the majority of my life, and for almost the entirety of my marriage, I have quite a number of empirical data points of its affects on me and my sexuality. I will say that my wife and I need much less of the influence of porn on our sex life, not more.

"While I don't see how you've refuted any of my claims specifically"

Your anecdotes don't require disproving. They are just your anecdotes about your particular personality and calling them "empirical" does not give them any more expandability to the whole.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#302

Post by malandrew »

mikecaron wrote: post #286
malandrew wrote: post #281

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was making a generalization, obviously imperfect and not applicable to all porn, and you simply pulled out a strawman argument. Sexual violence towards women existed well before any porn ever existed. For example, the vikings raped and pillaged. I'm pretty sure they didn't have porn available to motivate them. There are many more examples. Rape has been a constant in history and was not uncommon well before porn be…

I'm not saying there'd be no rape without porn. What I am saying is that rape and violence toward women increases with it.

Citation needed. Your statement is purely speculative otherwise.

In fact, a search for "rape vs porn" suggests that it reduces rape:

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/1...

http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#303

Post by Mz »

mikecaron wrote: post #260
malandrew wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having porn before sex is probably a lot more instructive and useful to our sexual well being than an alternative world where your only contact with sex before having it is just private conversations about it with the few people you feel comfortable discussing it with. I'm very glad that I live in a post Kinsey Report world.

I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or…

I am very sorry to hear that is your position concerning your daughters.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#304

Post by simplify »

jrockway wrote: post #138
ntumlin wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm sure that site has no bias what so ever.

You know you've chosen the right side of an argument when everyone one the other side links to a single quack website backed up by anecdotes from "An Internet User".

Is it not true that many informative articles start with anecdotes to illustrate the subject at hand? If you have a problem with the science in the article, please explain; it would help me understand the flaws you are talking about.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#305

Post by simplify »

ntumlin wrote: post #107
simplify wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It seems that there is: http://yourbrainonporn.com/why-do-i-find-porn-more-exciting-...

I'm sure that site has no bias what so ever.

Mere bias does not invalidate an argument. As males we are naturally biased to believing porn is harmless. However it can be a real addiction to some (not all of course).

In my opinion it's important to know the symptoms of any addiction in case you see those patterns in your own or your peer's behaviors.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#306

Post by mamoswined »

_ddkb wrote: post #116
CKKim wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I am addicted to porn"..."I would look about once per week" It seems odd to me that being addicted to porn would go with only looking "about once per week". I think I understand how this could still be technically an addiction, but compared to other addictions and - I imagine - especially porn addictions, it seems rather bizarre. Certainly if pornography was only being consumed once a week then the rate of let's cal…

The definition of addiction I heard that I agree with was something like "An activity that causes an overall negative effect on your life that you do not have control over." This definitely fit with my experience. It was definitely a cycle for me. Alcoholics do not have to have a drink every day to be an alcoholic. In fact, one of the points of the AA program that people need to learn is they are always an alcoholic.…

That is not the definition of addiction (actually in their working, dependence) as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (D.S.M.). And that's just PART of the AA definition too. I would also note that the DSM has sex addiction under its broad draft "behavioral addictions" because there is not enough research on it.

I would encourage you to see a psychologist and possibly get a referral for a psychiatrist to get a real diagnosis. The deceptive thing about these mangled pop-sci porn addiction tropes is that they try to get people with these problems to believe that their issues are a normal reaction to the evils of pornography (and if you did deeper Maria and Gary in general believe this about orgasms, even during sex), when it reality they could be a symptom of a host of psychological issues and disorders.

If it truly is an addiction, you should be not self-treating it on the internet.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#307

Post by jarjoura »

jrockway wrote: post #36

I'm sure there are people who have never watched porn that don't particularly enjoy sex either. This sounds like all other articles that generalize one anecdote to data.

100% agree and only this to add... sexual interest can go up or down depending on your partner and life situation. This is regardless of love, interest or what-not. For me, I went from one relationship where I (a male) was faking it to another where I couldn't last 5 minutes.

Porn is such a non-issue in my life. It's soulless and empty as it should be, but it's also human sexual nature at its rawest. I'm glad we live in an era where we can freely and easily experience it.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#308

Post by mikecaron »

malandrew wrote: post #302
mikecaron wrote: post #286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not saying there'd be no rape without porn. What I am saying is that rape and violence toward women increases with it.

Citation needed. Your statement is purely speculative otherwise. In fact, a search for "rape vs porn" suggests that it reduces rape: http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/everyday_economics/2006/1... http://www.toddkendall.net/internetcrime.pdf

1. http://pornharmsresearch.com/2012/08/pornography-viewing-amo...

2. http://pornharmsresearch.com/2012/08/effects-of-womens-porno...

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#309

Post by illuminate »

mikecaron wrote: post #260
malandrew wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having porn before sex is probably a lot more instructive and useful to our sexual well being than an alternative world where your only contact with sex before having it is just private conversations about it with the few people you feel comfortable discussing it with. I'm very glad that I live in a post Kinsey Report world.

I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or…

"most porn includes violence towards women"

A good friend's job is specifically to monitor internet purchases of all manner of things that break bank and payment processor Terms of Service. While there is quite a lot of distressing porn that includes violence towards women (simulated or otherwise), "most" is an exaggeration. Interestingly enough, most of the people who manually verify compliance seem to be women.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#310

Post by CleverGirl »

Mz wrote: post #74

Both his parents were psychologists.* Any psych major knows the old saw that you probably got bad stuff like this from your parents. Some of the psych majors I have personally known struck me as folks who had no clue how humans work and were hoping to get a clue by majoring in it. When I went to GIS school, this observation was reinforced by a classmate who had a Master's in Psychology and was looking to change caree…

I work as a counsellor and I've heard the 'therapists are all crazy themselves' stereotype a million times.

My personal experience can only be limited, but I haven't found the statement to be true. Of the dozens and dozens of mental health professionals I've studied with or worked with, most are totally typical, adjusted people.

Since most humans are messed up in one way or another, you're probably as likely to find as many 'crazy' lawyers or programmers as you are therapists. When you meet a counsellor who's off the confirmation bias kicks in.

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