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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#281

Post by malandrew »

mikecaron wrote: post #260
malandrew wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having porn before sex is probably a lot more instructive and useful to our sexual well being than an alternative world where your only contact with sex before having it is just private conversations about it with the few people you feel comfortable discussing it with. I'm very glad that I live in a post Kinsey Report world.

I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or…

I was making a generalization, obviously imperfect and not applicable to all porn, and you simply pulled out a strawman argument.

Sexual violence towards women existed well before any porn ever existed. For example, the vikings raped and pillaged. I'm pretty sure they didn't have porn available to motivate them. There are many more examples. Rape has been a constant in history and was not uncommon well before porn became readily available.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#282

Post by mamoswined »

_ddkb wrote: post #85

I know this is outing myself but this is my personal experience. I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me. I came to the realization about 2 years that I am addicted to porn. For anyone out there struggling with the same thing, it can get better and yes, it is probably having a negative influence on your life. Previously I would look about once per week but in the past 6 months, I have probably vie…

I'm kind of shocked no one seems to have researched the authors of Your Brain on Porn. While I think their stuff is interesting, I am very skeptical, especially considering their past work and their general views on sexuality. I read their Cupid's Poison Arrow book and it's not just porn they think is bad for you, it's orgasm in general. Their book teachers a method of orgasm-free sex and sexuality that is supposed to improve the longevity of your relationship. I don't really think Marnia or Gary have much qualifications in the science of sex or addiction, but they wrap up their arguments in scientific-sounding language. I am familiar with such things because I grew up Evangelical and they used the same type of arguments for their views on sexuality.

For a better perspective on issues relating to having an addictive personality, I recommend The Compass of Pleasure by neuroscientist David J. Linden for understanding reward-theory that dominates the psychology research now.

I don't doubt that some people have legitimate problems worsened by pornography use, but I would say that they would benefit highly from seeing a therapist rather than following some of these more shaky theories. I've known young men who are thinking they have issues with dopamine, when in reality many of them have issues with shame, anxiety, and communication. I do believe porn addicts exist, but I think it is worth getting diagnosed by a professional who can rule out other causes.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#283

Post by papsosouid »

MartinCron wrote: post #280
papsosouid wrote: post #267

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it interesting that you characterize his personal opinion as expecting "everyone on the internet to cater to his expectations", while demanding that he cater to your expectations of "politeness". People posting deliberately misleading pseudo-scientific nonsense do not warrant some false amiability. His nonsense needs a firm rebuttal, just as homeopathy and chakras and crystal therapy and all the other quackery…

The expectation of politeness is a meaningful social norm, not just a personal opinion. Also, politeness and civility isn't the same as false amiability. You can (and should) give firm rebuttals in a civil way. There's nothing false about it.

The expectation of politeness as a meaningful social norm does not apply to con artists.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#284

Post by AutoKorrect »

lmm wrote: post #31
FrojoS wrote: post #14

Does it make sense to teach this to children? Just like "Smoking isn't good for your health."(which I believe worked for me) you could teach "Porn isn't good for you, if you want to enjoy sex."

I think the problem is our society's denigration of sex. We see it as consisting inherently of that mix of thrill and shame - when you're a teenager growing up in America, you're told to feel that way about any nudity, never mind penetration. So you come to associate arousal with this guilt - you never experience the one without the other - and then when you're looking for something to turn you on you're already feel…

I upvoted you, so I think you had some good points. I don't think, however, that our society denigrates sex. I think that what has happened was a cultural response to STDs, and the problem of rearing children. People (in my opinion) naturally pursue what makes them feel good, and sex is our number one feel-good activity. So we've been struggling with how to control it. You see the problems of unrestrained sex now with AIDS, herpes, new antibiotic resistant strains of clap, the rise of single-parent families, etc.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#285

Post by guard-of-terra »

jacoblyles wrote: post #276
guard-of-terra wrote: post #246

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We don't know whether these children will do better or worse in an unhappy married family. And certainly we don't have reasons to think that marriage (the piece of paper) is the casuation for the gap, not merely a correlation.

The most parsimonious way to interpret the data is that divorce is bad for children. But we can add epicycles to some other secular hedonist theory and make it fit.

The most parsimonious way is also a most uninformative one. For example, you can figure out that being rich and healthy is better than being poor and sick.

Also: you say "divorce is bad for children" when a good share of those children were born by mothers who aren't in a marriage and never were (at least not with the father).

What about those cases? "divorce" is not applicable to those.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#286

Post by mikecaron »

malandrew wrote: post #281
mikecaron wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd disagree here. Certain porn might be instructive, but most porn includes violence towards women. Not only that, but in 95% of scenes that included this violence, the women responds either (a) with passive compliance or (b) enjoyment. This is teaching observers, those especially which have never been introduced to sex before, that women desire to be hit, beaten, strangled, raped, etc and if they don't enjoy it or…

I was making a generalization, obviously imperfect and not applicable to all porn, and you simply pulled out a strawman argument. Sexual violence towards women existed well before any porn ever existed. For example, the vikings raped and pillaged. I'm pretty sure they didn't have porn available to motivate them. There are many more examples. Rape has been a constant in history and was not uncommon well before porn be…

I'm not saying there'd be no rape without porn. What I am saying is that rape and violence toward women increases with it.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#287

Post by w1ntermute »

vy8vWJlco wrote: post #169
w1ntermute wrote: post #64

I remember reading just a couple of weeks back about how this issue goes away after abstaining from porn for a month or two. They called it "porn detox" I think.

Assuming there is such a state, calling it detox implies it's normal or good. I'd be curious what, if any, physiological changes result to reduce the influence of one's sex drive. If so, why not "simply" auto-castration? (If the goal is to reject one's drives...) I see a general male catharsis that borders on the neurotic. Society demands verile/potent men who can, at the same time, subjugate themselves fully to soci…

I don't remember exactly what it was, but there are probably some neurological/mental conditioning aspects to it.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#288

Post by guard-of-terra »

gopi wrote: post #256

This comment may be down voted here. But i think there is a case to be made for a new law that mandates the ISP's to password protect all porn websites by default.

And in a few days we'll figure that every site The Man does not like is considered a porn site. And is "protected" from you.

Pirate Bay and other trackers, for example.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#289

Post by freshhawk »

dalke wrote: post #273
freshhawk wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the case of Betteridge's Law the point being made is that if someone has actual evidence then the headline reflects the evidence. It states the fact that there is new knowledge about something. If it's just speculation or useless fluff then they add a question mark. And yes, it was not made for opinion pieces or personal narratives and, like in the examples you give, doesn't generally work in these situations. My…

I can't tell from your response if you think that Betteridge's Law applies here or not. Betteridge's Law describes articles where an author wants to write a specific story but doesn't have the information to back up the point, and/or doesn't want to do the research to get that information. That doesn't apply here, because "if he does something about it" is a different cause than not having enough information. It look…

Betteridges's "Law" doesn't apply to stories like this for all the reasons you stated. I referenced it because all the critiques of writing that Betteridge's Law implies apply here.

I think the misunderstanding here is that you are looking Betteridge's Law as more of a pseudo-law that has specific constraints and I'm looking at is as shorthand for a specific critique of bad writing, which I think does apply here even though, as you stated, it was not created to apply to personal writing.

The difference is that most of the examples you are giving of personal writing are subjective and/or value judgements that have no factual answer to the headline question. This one does have an answer, the answer is "no" and the author knew the answer was "no".

Anyway, clearly a better comment for me to have made would have been "Although it doesn't apply here this post makes me think of Betteridge's Law!" but it's much less pithy.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#290

Post by gopi »

papsosouid wrote: post #268
gopi wrote: post #256

This comment may be down voted here. But i think there is a case to be made for a new law that mandates the ISP's to password protect all porn websites by default.

Yep, because if someone claims something might be bad for them, we should restrict access for everyone! By the way, hacker news makes me slack off at work, so I'm looking forward to the law that forces ISPs to block it by default.

I am not worried about the adults but Kids who can now easily access all the pervert filth's of the world (many times accidently).

BTB, I am not talking about blocking porn, just users should go through a password wall. Also the users should be able to change this default setting if they like. This is not much different from the password protection for adult content offered by many cable tv companies.

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