Don't read too much into your first encounter. Chances are you do need to "rewire" some parts of your brain and experiences to the physical sensation, so just keep at it. So far you have only been at it visually. Just keep at it and focus on the sensation, focus on your partner. In my own experience, there is a distinct difference between just the physical act and actually making love, where you feel close to each other. The former usually comes first, the latter takes time to become familiar and especially comfortable with each other! So, give it time, relax, don't stress yourself like that.
I don't understand why sex has become this generation's absolute number 1 priority, the one thing everyone defines themselves almost religiously through and reads way too much into. Everyone has seen "group action" and gets off on borderline cartoon rape and, to quote SouthPark, Japanese girls vomiting on each other... at the same time people are so alienated from each other they can barely look at others in a pub or start talking to people, so then they flock to "pickup artists" and countless self-help books teaching them yet more ways of "getting into someone else's pants" and then all they are left with is the urgent, defining feeling of having to "perform" and live up to an allegedly commonly-agreed-upon standard - instead of valuing actual human interaction and truly accepting one self and others and feeling welcome and whole in another person's presence.