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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#31
post #14

Does it make sense to teach this to children? Just like "Smoking isn't good for your health."(which I believe worked for me) you could teach "Porn isn't good for you, if you want to enjoy sex."

I think the problem is our society's denigration of sex. We see it as consisting inherently of that mix of thrill and shame - when you're a teenager growing up in America, you're told to feel that way about any nudity, never mind penetration. So you come to associate arousal with this guilt - you never experience the one without the other - and then when you're looking for something to turn you on you're already feeling guilty, and there's a part of you that wants to. So you step a little deeper into the pool of fetishes, find something a little stronger (and I'm pleased that the author's actually given some realistic examples here), something that makes you feel guilty and ashamed and is all the more erotic for it. But the interest half-life for porn is tiny; what was dangerous boundary-pushing last week is pedestrian today. It's a feedback loop, one that can only possibly end somewhere unpleasant.

The author's already found the solution - we need to separate sexuality from guilt and shame, to be able to feel aroused and wholesome at the same time. But it's hard to do that after you've already fallen down the spiral. We need to make our children's first experiences of arousal feel natural and wholesome - which means more openness, more embracing of sexuality in artforms that are going to portray it positively. But that's a hard sell to middle America.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#32
It's one of those things that can rapidly spiral, you start needing a bigger kick to keep it interesting. The problem being it is incredibly difficult to talk about, it's something parents will start needing to discuss with their kids straight up.

Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while, but it's the same way drugs aren't necessarily bad unless you start needing a bigger and bigger kick.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#33
This reads more of a commentary of how sex, masturbation, and porn are viewed in our culture as something that is shameful and wrong. While you can't go anywhere without seeing violence glorified, but also discussed in our custure. Guys skull getting blown off in a movie - acceptable, tolerated, laughed at. Guy with a penis in a movie - wrong, disgraceful, embarrassing, and no one talks about it, especially families.

What's the solution? I don't know, but I think tackling the problem from an early age is important. Adventure Time is the best example of a kids cartoon I can think of that deals with girlfriends, kissing, etc.. while still containing the stereotypical violence of a childrens cartoon.

Aside, porn to me is like violence in media. It's enjoyable, but at the same time absurd. And for most people (I hope) it's an easy distinction that how people in porn and movies act is different from real life.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#34

It's one of those things that can rapidly spiral, you start needing a bigger kick to keep it interesting. The problem being it is incredibly difficult to talk about, it's something parents will start needing to discuss with their kids straight up. Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while, but it's the same way drugs aren't necessarily bad unless you start needing a bigger and bigger ki…

Yes, but porn can sometimes be the worst drug. Sometimes I find the analogy between porn and drugs to add more obfuscation to my thoughts than clarity.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#35

It's one of those things that can rapidly spiral, you start needing a bigger kick to keep it interesting. The problem being it is incredibly difficult to talk about, it's something parents will start needing to discuss with their kids straight up. Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while, but it's the same way drugs aren't necessarily bad unless you start needing a bigger and bigger ki…

> Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while

Logically speaking, that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing.

EDIT: Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society, but note that Western culture is also very image-focused and has high rates of divorce and eating disorders among women.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#38

It's one of those things that can rapidly spiral, you start needing a bigger kick to keep it interesting. The problem being it is incredibly difficult to talk about, it's something parents will start needing to discuss with their kids straight up. Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while, but it's the same way drugs aren't necessarily bad unless you start needing a bigger and bigger ki…

Yes, but porn can sometimes be the worst drug. Sometimes I find the analogy between porn and drugs to add more obfuscation to my thoughts than clarity.

They're very similar in some respects, both trigger pleasure and reward centres creating a similar level of craving. Not a wholy physical dependency, but certainly a mental one over time.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#39
post #35

It's one of those things that can rapidly spiral, you start needing a bigger kick to keep it interesting. The problem being it is incredibly difficult to talk about, it's something parents will start needing to discuss with their kids straight up. Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while, but it's the same way drugs aren't necessarily bad unless you start needing a bigger and bigger ki…

> Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while Logically speaking, that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. EDIT: Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society, but note that Western culture is also very image-focused and has high rates of divorce and eating disorders among women.

True, I should have been clearer, I don't believe it is a bad thing by nature, and it's been part of society for long enough that we've not all become degenerates.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#40
Looks like the author was accurate in how uncomfortable we are as a society to talk about the role of porn in our lives.

I think the article speaks more to the issue with recovery and the issues surrounding "getting back to neutral."

This problem exists. He explains in laymen's terms a simple Pavlovian response that requires more and more brain stimulation to achieve the same level of dopamine needed for ejaculation.

I'm not a neuroscientist, but I bet someone out there can explain it better than I can.

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