Why you shouldn't do what Aaron did

Is it possible to have a rational discussion on suicide without it offending someone's own will to live?

Is there a natural law that suicide breaches, is this why it upsets and offends so many at the thought?

I'm personally of the deep belief that suicide is an option. And it's also something I think of at times. I think of suicide when I'm up, when I'm down... but generally never when I have a struggle and something to fight for. I think of suicide semi-frequently and always have.

I view suicide as an option because I don't believe in afterlife, or that life is a gift (from whom? we're supposed to be thankful how?)... life and personal existence is a bizarre improbable thing, we are here but nothing follows and nothing will remain of us in the grand scheme of things.

When you know life is fundamentally irrelevant, that we are but a speck of dust... what's the difference between a span of 40 years and a span of 80 years?

I like to think that life should be qualitatively lived, struggles endured in a constant hope of experiencing a high-quality of living.

Is there anything so deeply flawed with viewing my life as being mine to do with as I please, and also acknowledging that if I come to some point that a remainder of my life would be lived in misery that I might choose to exercise a right over my life to end it on a qualitative high?

I don't find that these arguments differ greatly from those in terminal illness (whom most would sympathise with), but like many things that are unseen (mental illness, emotional state, state of happiness or sadness)... the unseen seem to be accepted as being unreal, fixable, unacceptable.

Yet there are times that suicide can almost be thought of as noble. When a lover dies and the lone lover pines so greatly and finds that they cannot continue to have any quality of life without the other person.

I don't believe that I've ever been clinically depressed, and am a very optimistic and hopeful person. Yet my reasoning isn't offended or appalled when I see reports of suicide, and nor could I make a claim that I would never consider it. It is, for me, part of living... as death is for everyone... and as we ponder death beyond our control, I also ponder death within our control.

I find it hard to comprehend the reaction of others to stories of suicide that seem to follow misconceptions about someone having to be depressed, or the time of year... I don't think suicide is the product of a person with a fault in some way, I find it to be a rational thing.

I think you are mixing some things together. For starters, you should distinguish between a "life's purpose" that you set for yourself, and one that you assume for other people. You can only decide for yourself, not for other people. You may wish other people had specific values, and try to enforce them with violence, but you can not decide for them.

Next, you should distinguish between a goal or purpose and the means to achieve it. If you goal is to achieve world peace, it doesn't imply that you know about a sure way to achieve it, and you don't have a guarantee that the steps you take are the right ones. That doesn't imply that it is useless to try, though.

Ultimately, what I find sad is that apparently you need some external validation for your existence. You can not stand on your own. It is as if you were missing a leg - that would be sad, no?

I am not sure how to describe it better. I think if you are feeling emptiness and can't appreciate things, very likely the reason is much more basic than "a general lack of meaning in life". Personally I think it is much more likely that the root cause are emotional problems in your life, loneliness, not getting along with family and friends and stuff like that.

Good luck in finding your way!

"ramp down the coke/liquor"

It's not that easy. Tried to quit before and I can't last more than 48 hours without hallucinating.

"SF or NYC if you want to be a SW engineer"

Would love to move to SF, but like you guessed I'm in the UK (London). Getting a visa is very difficult.

Language is stronger than you imagine. When you tell yourself "I have failed at X," you are telling yourself that it is no longer possible. You stop trying, and your lower mind stops presenting you with ideas for how to proceed or potential opportunities to pursue and learn from. Reframing is a powerful technique, both when dealing with bad thoughts and with other people. Change your internal language to something along the lines of "I have an incorrect assumption about X that is preventing me from achieving it. It is worth it if an experiment for achieving X doesn't work out, because it has a good chance of yielding information that will help me get there eventually. I want X because in learning how to achieve it, it will make me feel A, B, and C."

You are far from being able to say that you have failed at anything. You are making ridiculous assumptions that bring you endless suffering for as long as you hold them. So stop assuming so many things that both prevent you from improving and make you feel helpless. You are feeling pain but you aren't listening to the assumptions about reality that it is trying to educate you about. The pain will continue and most likely become worse until you put in the effort to understand it.