We need a startup to fix online dating • Hacker News Board

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#51

Post by waxman » Mon, Jan 07, 2013, 2:40 AM UTC

Irfaan wrote: post #45

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

And if I could actually try Grouper, I would. But given I signed up over 4 months ago and haven't heard a peep (though the site still insists "YOUR APPLICATION IS ON ITS WAY. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH."), I'm currently labeling anything and everything Grouper as vapor. I also consider the Facebook requirement obnoxious - up until I decided to give Grouper a spin, my Facebook profile was minimal, not even a profile picture. B…

Sorry about that. Please email me at michael [at] joingrouper.com.

We use several techniques to filter out sketchy accounts, and your sparse Facebook information may have triggered our suspicions.

We need to use Facebook for, at the very least, making sure you don't know the other group.

Also, in terms of the allegations of vaporware, just search Instagram for the hashtag #groupergram. There are over 1,000 photos from recent Groupers. We've also collected our favorites on our landing page http://joingrouper.com and here: http://joingrouper.com/groupergrams

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#52

Post by j45 » Mon, Jan 07, 2013, 5:11 AM UTC

zensavona wrote: post #46

j45 wrote: post #44

There's some fundamental dysfunction that needs to be addressed in online dating: - Why the heck do folks use a service built by people who might not have been successful in love? Would I use an operating system programmed by doctors? - How do dating sites overcome the personality shortcomings of having a hard enough time connecting in real life, let alone the computer. In the end the relationship is in real life. -…

That got heavy fast. I completely agree that the way we do dating as a society is fundamentally broken and needs to be fixed (and I think that in some parts of society it already is, it just depends who you surround yourself with). However a startup can't give people emotional and introspective depth (prove me wrong!)

Haha, I don't know about heavy.

There seems to be a certain amount of self-effort, self-learning, self-development that is necessary to understanding and relating .. to yourself, and through it to others in a relationship.

What if a startup focused on development of one's self that in some way let those emotional and introspective sparks happen?

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#53

Post by anthonyb » Mon, Jan 07, 2013, 8:55 AM UTC

j45 wrote: post #44

There's some fundamental dysfunction that needs to be addressed in online dating: - Why the heck do folks use a service built by people who might not have been successful in love? Would I use an operating system programmed by doctors? - How do dating sites overcome the personality shortcomings of having a hard enough time connecting in real life, let alone the computer. In the end the relationship is in real life. -…

To me it seems like using a recruiter or monster.com to find a job: most of the people on it - employers and employees - have already exhausted their other, better options like networking, and are getting desperate.

And nothing kills attraction like desperation.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#54

Post by sjg007 » Tue, Jan 08, 2013, 3:16 AM UTC

dkarl wrote: post #42

We need a startup to fix online dating: agreed. Part of the problem is the overwhelming volume of attention that women receive: agreed. However.... But even though I received the highest response rate, I was still almost never able to get second or third replies. Once I got a response that I replied to, the exchange pretty much stopped dead in its tracks. Women get tons of messages every day, as the article points ou…

Video chat?

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#55

Post by j45 » Tue, Jan 08, 2013, 7:03 PM UTC

anthonyb wrote: post #53

j45 wrote: post #44

There's some fundamental dysfunction that needs to be addressed in online dating: - Why the heck do folks use a service built by people who might not have been successful in love? Would I use an operating system programmed by doctors? - How do dating sites overcome the personality shortcomings of having a hard enough time connecting in real life, let alone the computer. In the end the relationship is in real life. -…

To me it seems like using a recruiter or monster.com to find a job: most of the people on it - employers and employees - have already exhausted their other, better options like networking, and are getting desperate. And nothing kills attraction like desperation.

I think this is true fairly often... I do know others that are so wrapped up in their life that they didn't spend the time to keep in touch with friends and let those networks grow through their 20's and now find themselves evolved into a corner.